To Wonder Why Women put up with this?

[girlfriend44]

Reading a post on a thread about Christmas from the past on tinternet.
Someone had said the men went to the pub Xmas day and the women cooked the dinner. The men came home and ate the dinner and fell asleep.
The post had quite a few likes.
Does anyone else think that's wrong and the woman shouldn't have allowed it?
Why didn't the women go down the pub and the men cook etc?
Better still Why didn't they all make dinner together nd obody went to the pub?

Why do people have to go to the pub Xmas day anyway while dinners cooking?

Should women have made more of a stand and not allowed this?
Does this still happen today?

I think it's really rude to go down the pub Xmas day and leave people at home doing everything?

The pubs that are open on Christmas Day are open because there’s a demand- the staff are unlikely to want to be there.

One grandfather a fisherman out of Yorkshire, the other a miner in Durham. No idea if they went to the pub on Christmas, but just ask yourself if you would like to go out to sea today in a 20 foot boat or down a mine for a long shift. Life wasn't easy for those men.

@58HappilyRetired women didn’t have it any easier back then either. FWIW my Nana (if alive today would be 100 plus years) worked (employed then ran her own business), looked after 6 kids and looked after her husband (my Pa) who barely survived WW2. She worked bloody hard like many women did from her era.

Oh forgot to mention that she often looked after her many grandchildren too.

Great to get the men out of our way while we have girl time in the kitchen. The guys clear up which is a much bigger and less fun job!

Getting the men away from under the women's feet might have been a blessing.

As it happened this was why the men would go to the pub and leave my mum at home with us little kids.

Trouble is they came home drunk and kicked off. Unhappy childhood memories

Here comes the illiterate man to tell "females" are wrong on a forum made predominantly for women

One year, my mother and auntie decided to take my grandmother to the pub and left the men in charge of the cooking.

They weren't overly impressed to come back to find the men pissed and trying to barbecue the Christmas Dinner.

Difficult to socialise and talk to other people if you stay at home.

Do you want to try that again, @tolerable - only this time with punctuation, proper grammar, and comprehensible sentences.

No @SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius I wouldnt. Its a free-for-all forum. My limited grammatical capabilities and your lack of ability to scroll past if you didnt really understand are not a joining prequisite. For the record - there is nothing quite as repulsive as attempting to condescend when you have clearly no grasp of "inclusion" or manners.

I cook Xmas dinner and dress the table when DH goes to the pub, but he has done all the prep beforehand.
I find the timing easier if I'm on my own in the kitchen, especially when we have family, plus he takes them away for a bit.
He/they do all the washing up and clearing afterwards, too.
I think I get best deal, actually.
I get all the praise for the meal, as I sink gracefully into an armchair and accept a glass of cava.

@SwordToFlamethrower .are you calling me an illiterate man? I'm neither.
I think the op post showed an incredible lack of insight yet screamed of condemnation. For no real purpose Highlighting one random (loose)tradition which was non compulsary and subject to personal choice is ridiculous.
As is assuming it was wrong.The notion Woman shouldnt have allowed it is,pretty funny. "made more of a stand" .
I NEVER said "females"were wrong. the suggestion iwas making was -what a load of bollocks.actually

The past is the past. Fortunately many things are different now.

I was born in the mid-80s and remember where my uncle lived in Scotland the pub would open from 12-2.30 on Christmas Day - must have been early/mid 90s. The men and kids would go down for an hour or so. I used to like it as I felt like I was being let in to some kind of secret society! 🤓

Why are people so both obsessed with what other people do. What works in one house, won't work in the next house. Live and let live and let people do what the hell they want.

Its quite an interesting topic, I was born early 60s to a large London based family, at that time no one was rich or even well off, the houses were all small victorian terraces, I well remember the men going off to pub for a hour or so, it made room for a meal to be prepared and us kids to play. Even in those days women were very busy and didn't see each other a great deal so getting together was fun, I remember the howls of laughter coming from the the poky kitchens, a long table being set up in the living room, planks and cushions over chairs so everyone had a seat.
The men were merry, never drunk, we had a riotous meal, lots of fun and laughter. Afterwards I strongly remember the men doing the clearing up, all of it. In the evening there would be dancing in the tiny living room. All us kids and women slept in beds, the men were chucked blankets and slept in chairs etc.

Then we all became better off, the houses became bigger, the need for space was not so critical, the men had no need to go to pub. They stayed home and showed off their new cocktail cabinets and stereograms, still great fun.

Now, me and my christmas mad son in law do all the cooking, the houses are large, the gadgets better and take no where need the amount of time it used to take to cook the lunch, we also eat a lot later in the day. WE ALL go to the pub!

Life evolves.

My dad didn't but he rarely drank and my mum was his whole world.

My exH didn't, he went to the gym instead. We had 4 children.

There is little choice involved when your husband decides this is what they want to do. The children having a lovely Christmas becomes your priority so you don't challenge or your partner will make everyone's day awful.

Definitely was a thing up north

I have a friend who in-laws still do this. She went to the pub with the men!

My DM did not want anyone else in the kitchen, when I was groing up.
However, neither my DF, DBs or I went to the pub.
Instead we always went to church where we regularly attended and where my DF sang in the choir.

I'm 63 and this apparently used to happen, I'd heard of it. Not in my family though. My mum used to get pissed and my Dad, me and my sisters had to rescue the lunch

in my house even 35 years ago it was always my dad doing the cooking and my mum relaxing having a glass of wine haha- so i've never experienced this type of thing!

I vaughly remember my Nana sending the men to the pub new years eve I think but we always ordered a take away so it wasn't like the woman were up in the house cooking for the men though!

It was something my own Dad found upset g when his father did it. Nobody else in our family has ever done it. The men usually cook the dinner and wash up in our family.

I’ve never come across this before. My mother always did all the cooking but my father did the washing up, setting the fire etc. My grandparents were the same.

my in-laws did this not even on Christmas Day, whenever they had a big Sunday lunch gathering. The first time when my other half said he was off to the pub and he’d see me later, I asked why. When he explained I laughed and put my coat on. No one quite knew what to do, but from then on it was clear I wasn’t staying home just because I was a woman! His Dad was surprised when I ordered a pint instead of a half as well

Yes. Very much this. My cockney Nana used to pop into the pub on her way home from shopping and sit at a table shelling peas. It was very usual for men and women.

Fucking off to the pub on christmas day is definately something my grandad would do.

But their marriage very much relied on the two of them staying out of each others way.
Even on a normal day he worked an elaborate circuit of allotment, labour club and pub in order to avoid "getting under her feet"