Would you sacrifice marriage and children for love?

[Cheeeseeverywhere]

Just curious. Say if you really wanted to be married and have a child, and your partner didn't for whatever reason (just wasn't ready or didn't want the commitment). Would you be prepared to forgive and stay as a girlfriend/boyfriend forever?

No because marriage protects women. I could live without children (before I had them and loved them), it would be a different but no less interesting path. But ultimately if you want these things and the partner doesn't then you're not as compatible as you claim.

No.

I wanted a child more than a man and would have done it solo.

No, because marriage, stability and children are important to me. I’d have to admit that we want different things and agree to go our separate ways. Sad, but it’s a recipe for resentment later down the line otherwise.

No, because I wanted marriage and children. I wanted to build a family life with someone, as long as health and circumstances allowed.

I'd also be concerned that I'd be giving up my best years to be someone's Mrs-Ok-For-Now and then when they found a woman they really loved they'd dump me and marry/have children quickly, leaving me single and probably having wasted my youth and fertile years on them.

No, I couldn’t have. Having a family with children of my own was so important to me that I couldn’t have been truly compatible for life with someone who didn’t want those things too.

No. I would pursue what i want rather than settling for what he wants.

I personally am in no way sold on marriage. I absolutely wish I’d never gotten married. It has absolutely not ‘protected’ me. Quite the opposite.

But having children would be a non-negotiable for me. Absolutely.

No.
Those are 2 biggies to have opposing views on.
Resentment will set in eventually.

Absolutely not. Children were essential for me and I didn’t want to have children without being married.

Absolutely not.

I wouldn't care how much I loved him, I'd feel like he didn't give a shit about me if he didn't want to marry me. It'd be a matter of self respect to me.

To me it's like you're good enough to live with and act like his wife to all intents and purposes, but not good enough to marry.

If that's the case, I'd tell him to jog on.

No

Thank you for helping me to see sense.

Two women I know very well did this and they have nothing but bitter regret. Both of their partners cheated on them, left them, and went on to have children with other women. In both cases it was far too late for the women to have children with another man.

No way. I would be devastated.

It’s worth remembering that many women were strung along by men who refused to commit or have children. Only for him to leave and then get married and have children about 5 minutes after meeting a new woman.

He may not feel he wants a family now, but men don’t face the constraints on fertility that women do. If you want to have a family, you want to be in a relationship with someone who has the same goals.

It would depend on whether I was willing to show huge commitment to someone who was offering me none in return, and feel slightly resentful for the rest of my life.

Love fades.
Marriage,on the other hand, is legally binding.

The clue is in the fact that you’d view not having marriage and children as a sacrifice.

That’s a huge sign telling you that this is not the man for you.

Would you be prepared to forgive and stay as a girlfriend/boyfriend forever?

What would there be to forgive?

No way! I know too many women who have stayed with men who don't want marriage or kids, only for the boyfriend to run off, get married and have babies once thier fertile years are over. I also know a couple of women who have been screwed financially because they were unmarried and thier house and car were in thier partner's name.

No. Love can change or your partner can leave. That would leave you without love and marriage and children.

Nope. A former colleague of mine did this and then as she hit the menopause he buggered off with a woman 20 years her junior and went on to have three kids. She had a complete mental breakdown and has never fully recovered. She gave up the kids she wanted for her true love, but that meant fuck all to him in the end.

Yes. I love my kids, but would have been equally happy without kids. Just different.

I am childfree, but no way would I be just a girlfriend. Penis is abundant and of low value.

I have yet to meet a man who matters more than my daughter (including her father). It’s a no from me.

I don’t want to get married though so for me a man who wanted marriage would be an instant no as well.