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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that you shouldn’t choose to rent an upstairs 2 bed flat if you have 4 noisy kids

405 replies

shatteredmama · 25/11/2023 14:51

Just after your thoughts. We rent a ground floor flat, we expect to hear some of the usual sounds of upstairs neighbours such as footsteps, doors closing, washing machine, Hoover, the odd thud. Am absolutely fine with that.

A new couple moved into the flat upstairs, normal neighbour noises could be heard. No problem with that. Soon after they told me they had lied to our landlord and that it won’t just be the two of them, their 4 boys from the ages of 2 -11 would be coming over from their home country and living in that flat with them. Theirs is a 2 bedroom flat, no outside space, our flats are converted from 1 house. As she told me this she laughed and her exact words were oh you’ll know when they’ve arrived. Things are going to get very noisy!

Since the kids moved in the noise levels are ridiculous. Constant loud bangs, thuds, shouting, squealing, we can hear them running up and down their flat. It isn’t occasional. It’s all day every day as not all of them attend school.

I know kids make noise. On a couple of occasions I’ve knocked on and as nicely and politely as possible explained how it’s impacting us. For example when my child was crying and couldn’t go to sleep at bedtime because all the kids in the room above were jumping off the sofa onto the floor, our lampshade was swinging from the impact. At other times they’ve all been running and screeching so loud it sounds as though they are actually in our flat with us. The neighbours have then shrugged, argued back and said they’d try to keep the noise down but there’s nothing they can do.

I don’t know what we can do other than move out ourselves, but with the housing crisis the way it is, it wouldn’t be easy. I feel angry that they lied to get the tenancy and moved the family in knowing that it would disturb us and make our lives difficult.

Would any of you say I’m justified in feeling this way, any practical advice you’d give?

OP posts:
PinotViogner · 25/11/2023 20:14

Arguing about why the woman in question had so many children is such a useless and stupid argument. The kids are already here, existing. She's hardly going to look at this thread and think "yeah fair enough I do have a lot of kids let me just delete a few". They exist now and need a home is the fact of the matter.

Like a pp mentioned I'm very happy to be called preachy if preachy means not wanting four kids to be homeless because OP didn't like their mums attitude (I'll take this opportunity to remind anyone reading that OP has already said in another response that the women's attitude is her real problem and not the noise).

sollenwir · 25/11/2023 20:15

LaurieStrode · 25/11/2023 19:58

But everyone has an obligation to make sure their feral offspring aren't bothering others. Cramming four kids into one bedroom, never taking them to the park, laughing about the nuisance to the neighbours, etc., is all-around shitty parenting.

And yes, people ARE accountable for how many kids they choose to produce.

Bear in mind we're only hearing how OP has described the situation, and being as she doesn't seem to like them much.......

NeverDropYourMooncup · 25/11/2023 20:19

Why do people think the local authority will accept they're overcrowded? The youngest child at the very least won't even count as a whole person, all the children are the same sex and <9 years of one another and there's a third room to use as a bedroom (as well as it being a living room).

That's the sort of age and sex distribution that'll have them still deemed as adequately housed with 9 kids, never mind 4.

shatteredmama · 25/11/2023 20:34

Just to clarify for the few posters sparring for a fight - yes I was shocked and angry at her laughing that it was going to get noisy. That however is not the main thing upsetting me. It is the noise that is the issue. You may have misinterpreted what I was trying to express, which is that her gleeful arrogance was the worst way she could’ve approached this. Also it wasn’t delivered in a kids will be kids type of way, it was done in a fuck you, deal with it, type of way.

OP posts:
FrenchToastLover · 25/11/2023 20:45

shatteredmama · 25/11/2023 20:34

Just to clarify for the few posters sparring for a fight - yes I was shocked and angry at her laughing that it was going to get noisy. That however is not the main thing upsetting me. It is the noise that is the issue. You may have misinterpreted what I was trying to express, which is that her gleeful arrogance was the worst way she could’ve approached this. Also it wasn’t delivered in a kids will be kids type of way, it was done in a fuck you, deal with it, type of way.

"sparring for a fight"

You posted on an aibu thread. People are allowed to take in your words and come to the conclusion that you are in fact bu. Were you hoping everyone would just agree throw sympathy your way?

It's not "looking for a fight" for people to think that based on what you've said that you might not be telling the full story, might be making things personal between you and this woman etc

I didn't realize that disagreeing with your stance wasn't an option 🙄

shatteredmama · 25/11/2023 20:52

FrenchToastLover · Today 19:54

It's the use of the word CHOOSE for me...

OP might I suggest that you simply choose to go live in a nice, isolated mansion somewhere far from any devilish brats? Seems to me that your CHOICE to live in a rented downstairs flat isn't working out so great.

If it's preachy to think that a family of six shouldn't be made homeless because OP was sad about a lack of apology from the mum then I'm more than happy to be preachy 😁

Wow, you must be spectacularly stupid. You’ve missed all of the salient points entirely and made flippant remarks purely to argue.

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 25/11/2023 20:56

WonderLife · 25/11/2023 14:59

All these people hoping to make 4 children homeless in the middle of winter Shock

Yes indeed.

The OP herself alluded to the housing crisis.

It is really, really hard to find affordable privately rented flats when you have more than one child.

mathanxiety · 25/11/2023 20:58

LaurieStrode · 25/11/2023 15:12

@WanderingWitches

And people should anticipate changing circumstances when making reproductive choices. Economic ebb & flow, job loss/change, illness, etc occur in most lifetimes.

Just producing human after human without sufficient resources is vile.

What utter codswallop.

Dotcheck · 25/11/2023 21:02

WonderLife · 25/11/2023 14:59

All these people hoping to make 4 children homeless in the middle of winter Shock

This
Although I wouldn’t like the noise, so I would have a word with them

HappySammy · 25/11/2023 21:04

OP you sound British so presumably you have had a head start on these selfish overseas arrivals. Why haven't you bought a place of your own? I just haven't you used the opportunities simply being born here has given you compared to your new neighbours?

PinotViogner · 25/11/2023 21:05

Wow OP you're doing a fantastic job of vindicating everyone who was critical of you with your aggressive as shit attitude 😂

HappySammy · 25/11/2023 21:06
  • why haven't you used
greengreengrass25 · 25/11/2023 21:08

It's been very hard for people to buy since 2000 especially if they live in the SE and is it any wonder

CatLoaf · 25/11/2023 21:10

Some of these responses are NUTS

TooOldForThisNonsense · 25/11/2023 21:11

sollenwir · 25/11/2023 19:56

What an original reply, another typical response from behind a screen.

Same to you 😘

Lentilweaver · 25/11/2023 21:14

I feel for both parties in this tough situation, but more for you. I think you should report them. I would feel guilty about it though.

TooOldForThisNonsense · 25/11/2023 21:16

To anyone claiming they’d put up with their own and their family’s lives being made a misery by these tenants so as they weren’t made homeless - I don’t believe you. No one puts the housing situation of neighbours above their own happiness and comfort.

FrenchToastLover · 25/11/2023 21:16

shatteredmama · 25/11/2023 20:52

FrenchToastLover · Today 19:54

It's the use of the word CHOOSE for me...

OP might I suggest that you simply choose to go live in a nice, isolated mansion somewhere far from any devilish brats? Seems to me that your CHOICE to live in a rented downstairs flat isn't working out so great.

If it's preachy to think that a family of six shouldn't be made homeless because OP was sad about a lack of apology from the mum then I'm more than happy to be preachy 😁

Wow, you must be spectacularly stupid. You’ve missed all of the salient points entirely and made flippant remarks purely to argue.

Wow...and just like that I fully understand why your neighbor lets her kids irritate the crap out of you.

Why did you post this if you didn't want to hear anyones thoughts?

ThisHouseWillBeTheDeathOfMe · 25/11/2023 21:17

@shatteredmama

Is your flat the same, but ground floor?

Might be a weird suggestion, but if your joint landlord agreed, could you swap? Then they can't thunder through the ceiling. The noise is likely to be much less on the ground floor if you were above it.

To be honest though, they wouldn't have got the flat without the lies they've told. They need housing, and this isn't it. Ignore all the hysteria about if they lose this flat they'll be homeless. It's not the only dwelling on the planet fgs. For all we know, they will have many other options when the time comes.

Boymum2104 · 25/11/2023 21:24

I was in this exact situation. I had to sell & move into a house. That's the big problem living in a flat you never know when you'll suddenly get very noisy neighbours

Scalottia · 25/11/2023 21:25

WonderLife · 25/11/2023 15:03

As much as noisy neighbours are annoying, I don't thing wishing for them to get evicted is proportionate.

What do you think is the place for them?

Far away from me!

Kid noise in a flat above is horrible. We had it once, but the family owned the flat so obviously apart from asking them to keep the noise down (which we did, politely and several times) there wasn't anything else we could do about it. It was either deal with it or move. We moved.

YANBU OP.

Suusue · 25/11/2023 21:25

Report them immediately. No question.

shatteredmama · 25/11/2023 21:25

Well that is me done on this thread. I won’t be reading it anymore or making further comments. Thanks for the replies, I’ve had some really helpful and interesting ones.

The batshit crazy ones are quite frankly hilarious and they are getting worse. There is no point in trying to explain or reason with some of you as I would get more sense out of a pigeon. There’s also a good chance certain posters are the type who need to shave their knuckles. I don’t bother with trolls.

OP posts:
AzureBlue99 · 25/11/2023 21:31

Tell the landlord. You owe them nothing. The fact she laughed when she said it was going to get noisy shows how much regard she has for you. Zero attempts from her to keep things relatively neighbourly. Why should you be bothered. Ignore the wallies on here giving you grief. All very well trying to be blasé and holier than thou if you are not facing the same situation.

PinotViogner · 25/11/2023 21:36

Wow you couldn't even flounce without offering yet more vindication to everyone that criticized you. Maybe your neighbor would be more willing to make an effort if you were a nicer person.