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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that you shouldn’t choose to rent an upstairs 2 bed flat if you have 4 noisy kids

405 replies

shatteredmama · 25/11/2023 14:51

Just after your thoughts. We rent a ground floor flat, we expect to hear some of the usual sounds of upstairs neighbours such as footsteps, doors closing, washing machine, Hoover, the odd thud. Am absolutely fine with that.

A new couple moved into the flat upstairs, normal neighbour noises could be heard. No problem with that. Soon after they told me they had lied to our landlord and that it won’t just be the two of them, their 4 boys from the ages of 2 -11 would be coming over from their home country and living in that flat with them. Theirs is a 2 bedroom flat, no outside space, our flats are converted from 1 house. As she told me this she laughed and her exact words were oh you’ll know when they’ve arrived. Things are going to get very noisy!

Since the kids moved in the noise levels are ridiculous. Constant loud bangs, thuds, shouting, squealing, we can hear them running up and down their flat. It isn’t occasional. It’s all day every day as not all of them attend school.

I know kids make noise. On a couple of occasions I’ve knocked on and as nicely and politely as possible explained how it’s impacting us. For example when my child was crying and couldn’t go to sleep at bedtime because all the kids in the room above were jumping off the sofa onto the floor, our lampshade was swinging from the impact. At other times they’ve all been running and screeching so loud it sounds as though they are actually in our flat with us. The neighbours have then shrugged, argued back and said they’d try to keep the noise down but there’s nothing they can do.

I don’t know what we can do other than move out ourselves, but with the housing crisis the way it is, it wouldn’t be easy. I feel angry that they lied to get the tenancy and moved the family in knowing that it would disturb us and make our lives difficult.

Would any of you say I’m justified in feeling this way, any practical advice you’d give?

OP posts:
Dweetfidilove · 25/11/2023 17:12

shatteredmama · 25/11/2023 16:03

Dweetfidilove

You’ve pretty much summed up how I’m feeling, thank you. Those poor boys only ever seem to leave the flat to go to school, and that’s the ones old enough to go. I actually feel really sorry for them. They never get taken to the park or anywhere to let off steam.

That’s awful for them - they need air and exercise, hence the constant noise indoors.

Not good for you either , and you have a right to enjoy some peace in your home ☹️.

shatteredmama · 25/11/2023 17:13

Abracadabra12345 · Today 17:00

Maybe they were desperate and it's all they could find.
Surely 4 homeless children is everyone's problem.
Yes it's annoying and I agree they could try and be more considerate but a little compassion would be nice.

I wonder how much compassion you'd be feeling in the OP's situation? The tenant told her she'd lied to the LL and LAUGHED at how noisy it was going to get once her kids moved in, knowing how horrible it would be for the OP. I'm amazed that they moved in a year ago and the OP hasn't reported them long ago

Abracadabra, thank you for this, you’ve understood my anger. The worst thing she could’ve done was laugh and look gleeful while telling me things were going to get noisy. If she had been remotely apologetic perhaps I wouldn’t be so upset, who knows, I just can’t get over someone knowingly imposing on me and not caring, as though their comfort is more important than mine. The landlord will be finding out on Monday and it will be between him and them to deal with.

OP posts:
Abracadabra12345 · 25/11/2023 17:18

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

🙄 There's always one, isn't there?

BlueGrey1 · 25/11/2023 17:19

@WonderLife

They clearly won't have the luxury of choosing a detached 4 bed house somewhere, they need somewhere to live.

Only practical advice is to move

Why do you think OP and her family should be the ones to move, they are not the problem?

BlueGrey1 · 25/11/2023 17:20

Definitely report to landlord, this is completely unfair on you and your family

ginasevern · 25/11/2023 17:21

To be fair, they shouldn't have 4 kids if their lifestyle or income doesn't allow for it. It isn't the OP's fault they've chosen to do so. All the posters feeling sorry for them would absolutely not put up with kids launching themselves off beds and sofas morning, noon and night. I have a similar situation and the noise is literally causing my ears to ring (absolutely no exaggeration) and I can't hear my own TV. It's like someone pile driving upstairs and it feels as if the floor will give way any moment. There's no need for kids to be running, jumping, thumping and shrieking like banshees all day long.

sollenwir · 25/11/2023 17:22

Abracadabra12345 · 25/11/2023 17:18

🙄 There's always one, isn't there?

There's actually a few folk pointing out the reality of living in a flat.

shatteredmama · 25/11/2023 17:22

Touchwood2654 · Today 15:52

I went through this and almost ended my life. I was psychologically broken.
Tell the landlord.

Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry to hear that, I hope things are better for you now 💐

OP posts:
Concannon88 · 25/11/2023 17:23

If you know the landlord, report them for breaching the tenancy and the noise. Cant understand all the comments saying move, why should you? Wont solve the problem if another noisy family is next door. Also we can absolutely blame them. The mother has said they are noisy and she has shrugged. There were 6 of us growing u and 2 were autistic, never had any complaints from neighbours. My mum and dad knew what a nuisance that would be for other people.

GrumpyPanda · 25/11/2023 17:28

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

There's always one isn't there...

@JustAMinutePleass renters have rights too, even if you consider them scum of the earth. It is not unreasonable to expect a minimum of consideration, which OP's neighbours obviously aren't capable of.

sollenwir · 25/11/2023 17:28

@shatteredmama absolutely speak with your landlord, however it's highly possible this won't be solved immediately so coping strategies might also help your mental health in the short term - I used to live below very noisy neighbours (think night time club level noise) and earphones with music were a life saver! This was a while ago, now I'd consider white noise through the earphones too!

Concannon88 · 25/11/2023 17:28

Reugny · 25/11/2023 15:00

Oh and the examples you gave with the boys jumping off the sofa etc isn't statutory noise pollution as kids playing, crying isn't.

I've worked in domestic disputes for my local council, children jumping off sofas isnt classed as playing. Shrieking and screaming also isnt.

shatteredmama · 25/11/2023 17:33

Hotchocolate2023 · Today 17:10

I can't imagine they had much choice. On the flip side, you chose to live in a GFF flat. You should expect noise.

Learn to read properly. My first post clearly explains that some noise is to be expected. The noise I am suffering goes way beyond that. Thanks for your unhelpful, goady comment though.

OP posts:
shatteredmama · 25/11/2023 17:36

JustAMinutePleass · Today 16:50

I’m going to say that you rent a flat. Did you seriously expect to deal with no noise / inconvenience? If you don’t like it stump up for a detached house.

Troll.

OP posts:
TaytoCheeseandOnion · 25/11/2023 17:36

I bought a 1st floor flat. New neighbours beneath me. They were so noisy. Every night was either computer games right below my bed, or live MCing with a full on sound system. It was hellish. I ended up drinking every night to try and knock myself out. Started smoking again. Landlord, council, police did nothing. They regularly intimidated me. It went on for nearly 2 years.

Peace in your own home is a right not a luxury. It just isn't reasonable to expect anyone to trade this, even if the other party is in dire straits. It is a massive ask. I would read them the riot act, and if no improvements dob them into the landlord

RosaGallica · 25/11/2023 17:37

This website sounds more like the 1930s every day. Maybe people who like peace and quiet shouldn’t choose to rent a downstairs flat?

The only sympathy I have is that it involves yet more immigrants.

Concannon88 · 25/11/2023 17:38

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Poor reading comprehension. Literally says they expected some noise

Blipeuy · 25/11/2023 17:39

I've lived in ground floor and upper floor flats and have found the underneath neighbours far noisier than the upstairs ones. I might be the exception there though.

If you don't like noise, move.

PinotViogner · 25/11/2023 17:40

If they have 4 kids and are living in a 2 bed flat then I doubt they're "choosing" shit. I'd try having a word with her and be honest about your frustrations but other than that moving yourself would be the only real solution.

greengreengrass25 · 25/11/2023 17:40

misssunshine4040 · 25/11/2023 16:41

@shatteredmama there is a housing crisis. Not too much choice on the rental market as landlords can be as picky as they like and everything is far too expensive.

They probably didn't have much choice

But I'm sure the LL didn't know there were 4 dc as well

NoSquirrels · 25/11/2023 17:41

OP, are the flats the same size - both 2-beds? Would you consider swapping so you’re on the upper floor?

Blipeuy · 25/11/2023 17:41

The more logical pathways other than moving would be to raise it with her, lodge a complaint with the landlord and the council.

Blipeuy · 25/11/2023 17:42

NoSquirrels · 25/11/2023 17:41

OP, are the flats the same size - both 2-beds? Would you consider swapping so you’re on the upper floor?

I personally wouldn't. Lower floor noise is far worse.

LakieLady · 25/11/2023 17:46

TomatoSandwiches · 25/11/2023 16:27

Unfortunately the housing situation has worsened since then so I doubt anything will change soon, sorry.

I have a client who rents a 2-bed place with 3 kids. She and her partner couldn't afford the rent on a 3-bed, because the max UC will pay for a 3-bed is £1200 but it's impossible to find one for less than £1800.

Hopefully, things will get a bit easier soon, now that the government has decided to increase LHA rates for the first time in years.

AppleDumplingWithCustard · 25/11/2023 17:49

WonderLife · 25/11/2023 14:55

They clearly won't have the luxury of choosing a detached 4 bed house somewhere, they need somewhere to live.

Only practical advice is to move.

OP probably doesn’t have that luxury either. Why should she move out of home? I’d be letting the landlord know.

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