*trigger* was this a thing in the 90s?

[Buxton87]

I was only 20 (1996) when I had my first 'exam' at the doctors when I said I might be pregnant.

The doctor laid me on the table - said I was probably twenty weeks as per the last date of my period (my dad had died the same year - I was not in a great place). But the thing is, he told me to take off my top to examine my breasts. Was this a normal thing back then??

My partner at the time was waiting in reception. My son is amazing and we co-parented after only two years together, but everything has been good.

I had another child 15 years later and it was a totally different experience (NHS-wise!) It's been almost thirty years and I'm still upset about it.

I'm an intelligent person and I'm still so angry at the person I was then to not speak up.

So my AIBU:
AIBU - make a complaint
YABU - Forget about it, man!

I don't think inverted nipples (pale and red headed) result in difficulties, other than sensitivity. I found breastfeeding resolved those issues. Several medical professionals tried to tell.me I'd never be able to breastfeed. Weird

I'm pretty sure I had a breast exam when I went for my first pre natal check in the 90's as well. There was a nurse in the room (I remember the doctor saying there had to be a chaperone)

I’m responding to someone who specifically claimed these tests could avoid late stage cancer diagnosis. It is absurd to read the experiences of women on this thread (which extend beyond pregnancy) and think male doctors were responsibly and proactively checking young women for breast cancer. The broader point is medical practice has moved beyond them without ill effect and because we now know better.

But in part, factually that’s what those checks were 30 or 40 years ago, not primarily, primarily it was for breastfeeding issues.

yes the stories are horrific, but they are unrelated to the ops issue.

The male GP when I was in my 20s, in the mid eighties, examined my breasts on every visit whatever I was actually there for. And then he stopped doing it... don't know whether he'd had a complaint or not.

Not long after I first heard the acronym TUBE - 'totally unnecessary breast exam'.

Yes,this was a thing so ubiquitous it had its own acronym.

I had my first baby in 2000 and a breast exam was part of the ante natal work up at my first appointment. Didn’t have one for next two pregnancies in 2000’s even though it was the same doctor. So I think it could have been part of the normal practice back then even if not all doctors did it.

In 1986 there were a lot more ante natal appointments at the hospital and one day I was asked if the students could attend. I laid on the bed top half naked whilst questions were asked and information given about my breasts and stomach - glad I was laid flat so could stare at ceiling! - so anyway as students were learning about signs then I presume that closer examination was in fact a medical thing at that time. And drs rely on what they learned even as it goes out of fashion I think so guess these 86 students would start practicing in 90s with this learning.
That is not to say some did not take advantage and behave inappropriately and absolutely that is wrong, but I do think maybe better for you to talk it through with a counsellor than get a non committal response from a complaint, which would feel so dismissive- perhaps even just talking through first would help with your resilience and set expectations if you do later complain. Hope you resolve this.

I had 4 children in the 90s, first in 91 and second in 99 and while the examinations changed over the decades I never had to take my top off let alone bra.
With my first it was standard to have an internal at your first consultant appointment, which I had while my Mum was outside the curtains. Home pregnancy tests weren't considered particularly reliable then either, you had to wait until you were a week late and then take a sample in to GP, who would send it off and you'd get your result a week later. The great thing about that was you'd stay a week in hospital after your first baby being taken care of and helped learn care.
By the time I had my second in 95 things had seriously changed. You could go to family planning clinic and get a pregnancy test result in minutes. No internal exam and again no breast exam. Sadly only a 24hr stay after having baby too.
3 and 4 were in 98 and 99, home pregnancy tests were the standard. Very few exams, 6hr hospital stays.
If I remember rightly the reasoning for the first internal was that I'm short and have small feet so it was to check if my pelvis was big enough. Only time I remember feeling really uncomfortable was when a doctor wanted to examine me in my first labour, he had huge hands and doped up on gas and air, autistic me declared he wasn't putting them up there

Thanks so much, everyone. I only told my mum about it a couple of years ago, and it had never happened to her (after five kids - three in the 90s).

I'm pissed off it still bothers me, but you've made me feel less alone about it.

Edited to add - my mum had three children in the 90s with second marriage.

I haven’t heard of that, BUT in recent years I took my 5 yr old son to the GP with stomach pains and the GP said he wanted to do a ‘full assessment’, got my son naked, asked him to wee in a cup in front of the GP and then spent a very long time examining his balls to see if he had a retracting testicle. He kept touching the testicles to watch their reaction.

I wish I’d stopped the examination but I kinda froze which as we all know is a common reaction if you’re female and feel unsafe.

Anyway turned out my son has food allergies (which this GP utterly failed to notice). Nothing wrong with his balls so what the fuck was all that about.

A year later we saw a different GP for a foreskin infection and that GP asked me to touch my son to see if it hurt. The GP said “I’m sorry but I’m not allowed to touch him there so you or he need to do it.”

I was like hang on if this GP isn’t allowed to touch my son’s genitals then how come the other GP kept touching them loads 😱

It was different then, but to be honest to some extent we were looked after more thoroughly. I had my breasts examined by doctors and nurses at various times, including when having my routine check ups because I was on the pill. They were checking for problems and indications of cancer.

Doctors are now much more aware that they need to be careful to get consent, and give full explanations of what they are doing. Back then that aspect wasn't so good, I think it was assumed that they were the professional and didn't need to go into lots of detail. I vaguely remember it being something like 'would you mind taking your top and bra off so I can check your breasts.'
It wasn't the dark ages though. More time was allocated to appointments, I felt more 'listened to' then than I usually do now.
It was so long ago - how can we ever know what motivation this particular doctor had? But definitely breast exams were much more routine and they weren't all carried out by pervy doctors.

1999 baby here. No nothing like that at all.

Anyone else shocked that instead of just asking a woman if they had inverted nipples and taking their word for it, they had to get a man to check?

It definitely results in difficulties for some. They weren't just checking for inversion anyway, they were checking for lumps.

YANBU X

Something very similar happened to me in the late 70s. I didn't say anything at the time but told my husband (then boyfriend) when I got home. He was waiting for the optician when he finished work the next day and taught him a lesson that he hopefully didn't forget.

Something similar happened to me but I think it was mid to late 80s. No sure why I was there,possibly related to painful periods but not sure. I would have been 14 or 15. I saw an old GP while my mum waited in the waiting room. He told me to take my top off an examined my breasts too. Him being a Dr I just did what he said. Now I know he was wrong. He Was old so hopefully dead now 😔

"I was like hang on if this GP isn’t allowed to touch my son’s genitals then how come the other GP kept touching them loads "

I wouldn't be sure which one to be worried about, the one doing all the touching or the one who for some reason is not allowed to perform routine medical examinations on children...!

It was normal practice back then I remember having them with each pregnancy with 3 different doctors

Age 20, 1983, first job required a medical. Choose the "works" doctor option.

It was very "extensive" . Couple of months later a new young woman joined and a couple of us mentioned that she might like to go to her own doctor . Older women looked confused , turned out they'd been weighed and had blood pressure taken and that was that. Hadn't even taken their shoes off.

I got a full examination like this at a family planning clinic as a teen to get the pill. By a woman.

I am mortified now as I was self harming and had cuts on my breast (I was a swimmer so cut where it would be covered in the pool). She asked if a boyfriend had done it, and when I said I did it myself showed absolutely no interest in why/what etc.

It's one of those things where at the time I just thought it was what doctors did but now I'm remembering it, it was just horrific on so many levels 😮

I’m more concerned about the second GP.
Either he’s got restrictions on his practice due to previous issues or he doesn’t understand consent and examination of children.
The first GP sound like someone who’s missed a torsion in the past and is now very paranoid about missing one again.

I had this with my first pregnancy, but it wasn’t NHS, it was the company’s own doctor when we were living abroad.

I could tell from the way he did it - ostensibly to check my nipples were suitable for breastfeeding - that he was something of a dirty old man (fairly common knowledge later) but I honestly can’t say it really bothered me - dh and I had a wry laugh about it.

I returned to the U.K. to have the baby - the hospital where we lived was pretty dire at the time.

@Growlybear83
what a catch your boyfriend (husband) was!
are you proud?

If you read the full thread it's explained clearly.

Women have to put up with so much shit it's appalling 😢