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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

*trigger* was this a thing in the 90s?

252 replies

Buxton87 · 23/11/2023 03:02

I was only 20 (1996) when I had my first 'exam' at the doctors when I said I might be pregnant.

The doctor laid me on the table - said I was probably twenty weeks as per the last date of my period (my dad had died the same year - I was not in a great place). But the thing is, he told me to take off my top to examine my breasts. Was this a normal thing back then??

My partner at the time was waiting in reception. My son is amazing and we co-parented after only two years together, but everything has been good.

I had another child 15 years later and it was a totally different experience (NHS-wise!) It's been almost thirty years and I'm still upset about it.

I'm an intelligent person and I'm still so angry at the person I was then to not speak up.

So my AIBU:
AIBU - make a complaint
YABU - Forget about it, man!

OP posts:
MyCircumference · 23/11/2023 05:32

they dont appear to be dreadful stories,
just checking breasts!
just because they dont check them now doesnt make it dreadful.
now they ask, do you check your breasts. ime
you didnt need 3 missed periods to confirm pregnancy, it wasnt the dark ages in the 1990s, there were pregnancy tests

CurlsnSunshinetime4tea · 23/11/2023 05:32

No it’s not @Bobtheamazinggingerdog, there’s teaching techniques and back in the day lightly toughening up the skin with a dry face cloth was recommended. Women dye their hair, it’s not always obvious.

Sunshine802 · 23/11/2023 05:34

Yes, completely normal back then especially if you were already 20 weeks along x

PatatiPatatras · 23/11/2023 05:35

Ah, the years when medicine enabled sexual abuse for the greater good.
Nostalgia.
Women's discomfort has always been as irrelevant as their pain.
Doctors doing their best to save a life without caring about the nightmares to be endured in the saved life.

LylaLee · 23/11/2023 05:41

they dont appear to be dreadful stories

Don't minimise abuse. Have you even read the thread? Why the fuck does a teenager with a sore throat need to be topless?

FormerlySpeckledyHen · 23/11/2023 05:46

Not normal then.

Luxurybeliefspreader · 23/11/2023 05:56

Same here, I was 16 with suspected IBS and was given an internal examination of my anus with no warning- I was in shock afterwards.
Very young and went to same all my life family GP because I was pregnant and he immediately did an internal- again I was shocked but thought it was normal.

Also same thing as PP with an optician.

Totally uncomfortable, completely naive and probably my first times going to the doctor alone without my mum (although she'd have been as compliant and naive as me) I often think about it and wonder.
Probably even more sad that my conditioning not to complain and see the good in people of authority means I still look for rational excuses but I think it's most likely it was wrong.

CormoranEllacott · 23/11/2023 05:57

CurlsnSunshinetime4tea · 23/11/2023 05:20

Yes @CormoranEllacott particularly red headed skin tone, as it’s associated with more sensitive nipples and problems breastfeeding.

Respectfully, this sounds crazy. Even if this were relevant, I would imagine they could ascertain that without having a gratuitous gawk at the breasts. As if a GP would be any proactive use if this were the case anyway.

wishmyhousetidy · 23/11/2023 06:05

I was given a breast exam when i went to Dr to confirm pregnancy ( female dr) and was sent to. a breast clinic for further investigation. It was just part of the check up- good practice

TomeTome · 23/11/2023 06:07

This sort of abuse absolutely did happen (and still does)

Motnight · 23/11/2023 06:08

Such horrible stories of abuse on this thread.

My DD was born in 1998. At no point did I have a breast examination when I was pregnant.

Twinkletoesandbuttonnose · 23/11/2023 06:08

In the early 2000's, I had just started uni and needed a repeat prescription for the mini pill. Usually I would just have a blood pressure test and be sent on my way. My new GP told me he wouldn't give me a prescription unless I consented to a breast and vaginal exam. I refused, calmly, by just saying "no thanks, I will just see another doctor, another time". He then begun to tell me that I have severe mental health issues and that he was deeply concerned for my welfare and believes that I should be sectioned! It was so surreal. I genuinely have never had any mental health issues whatsoever, he was probing for a reaction, I really think he wanted me to react in a way that would make me appear unhinged.
Thankfully I stayed so calm and when he got another doctor to enter the room, I reiterated that I did not consent to invasive exams for a repeat prescription. The other doctor gave me my script after just a blood pressure test, reassuring me that the blood pressure exam was not invasive. I said that I know that, but I did not want a breast or vaginal exam. The original doctor started protesting saying he'd never even mentioned a breast or vaginal exam and I was making it up! Chilling.

Colette88 · 23/11/2023 06:13

Bobsledgirl · 23/11/2023 04:00

I was 19 and at university. Went to Uni doctor for sinus infection. He made me take my bra off. He lifted up my breasts with a pencil. I still find it bizarre. I just didn’t know what to do. He’ll be long dead though.

Oh my God! Beyond revolting

CruellasBraVermin · 23/11/2023 06:19

I recall being examined in the late 90s and this right battleaxe literally just shoved her fingers up my foof to feel my cervix. It wasnt delicately done. Even the lady who saw me before her warned about it. This was to confirm pregnancy, but it was heavy handed. I also had a smear by a doctor around the same time and it was fine and he had a female come in to stand outside the curtains for me. The only thing I didn't like about it was my doctor was incredibly handsome so it was embarrassing.

Recycledblonde · 23/11/2023 06:27

I had a breast examnination at my first appointment for pregnancy in 1991. The doctor was female, she was my GP for all my prenancies but didn't do a breast examination in subsequent pregnancies so I can only assume evidence came out that proved it was unnecessary. I never had any conceens about this GP, she is a married with 5 children although I realise that this doesn't rule out abuse, it is less likely purely because she is female.

neerg · 23/11/2023 06:34

I remember having a breast exam when I was 19. I can't remember what for though. I wasn't pregnant asking for contraception or any other gynae issue.
I think it may have been acute tonsillitis.
The doctor was young and nervous. I just remember it being odd, but I didn't question and just let it happen. I haven't really thought about it until reading this!

FFSNHS · 23/11/2023 06:35

Bobtheamazinggingerdog · 23/11/2023 05:26

How in the fuck is it necessary to physically look at a woman's breasts to see if she has fair skin when you can look at her hair and other visible body parts? And even if a woman has sensitive nipples and is likely to have problems breastfeeding what can a GP do about that in advance of the birth that would necessitate looking at her breasts?
This logic is crazy.

Show quote history

It's gas changed in all medical care since then, but here are a few reasons.

The midwife used to give out creams to use prenataly to toughen up the skin on the nipple and areola.

Postnatally rotosept spray could be used to desensitise the nipples. That was applied 5 minutes before feeding. It was brilliant. I'm not sure if it's still used? (my toddler thought it was for polishing before feeding so my nipples weren't dusty! Like Mr Sheen polish!)

A higher percentage of redheads have inverted nipples compared to darker haired women so a nipple guard to encourage the nipple to reposition was given during pregnancy. They worked well for me so I was grateful for the examination.

Some redheads and fair skinned women have a much darker, therefore tougher areola than others.

(source: redhead here, 4 babies in the 80s, breasts examined every time)

x2boys · 23/11/2023 06:36

Rightsraptor · 23/11/2023 04:20

The only thing I can think of of that pregnancy tests weren't very reliable then maybe and so doctors would look for specific signs. There was a time when you had to wait for three missed periods before pregnancy was confirmed.

I have a memory of the GP examining my breasts (late 1970s) and commenting on the visible veins being a positive sign. Was it necessary? I don't know. But the GP was probably around my father's age, had trained in a different world all those years before and I suspect doctors had no updating or continuing professional development in those days. They usually carried on practising as they always had done.

Maybe in the 70,s but not in 1996 ,home pregnancy tests were considered reliable in the 90,s

FFSNHS · 23/11/2023 06:36

Sorry, 1st 2 words should be "lots has" in my post above.

thetimeisnow · 23/11/2023 06:37

I'm so glad you posted this op.

I went to the doctor at 17 ( 1990) to go on the pill. I was a virgin.

He did an internal exam, a smear, I had to hold the metal device while he went to fetch something.

I had to take my top and bra off, whilst he 'examined' my breasts for a few minutes.

I was and still am horrified by this.
No nurse in the room either.

Appalling behaviour.

smooththecat · 23/11/2023 06:39

I had this but it was a woman doing it.

neerg · 23/11/2023 06:39

This would have been 1989/1990

Yekaterinap · 23/11/2023 06:43

No that's not normal. It happened to me after going in with a pain in my throat. I was told to take my bra off whilst the doctor had a look, I did it as I was young and frightened of authority.

jemenfous37 · 23/11/2023 06:45

par for the course, OP, back then. As previous posters have said, it was to check nipples for inversion, etc

LizzBurg · 23/11/2023 06:45

I became pregnant in 1998 and never had any breast examinations.