*trigger* was this a thing in the 90s?

[Buxton87]

I was only 20 (1996) when I had my first 'exam' at the doctors when I said I might be pregnant.

The doctor laid me on the table - said I was probably twenty weeks as per the last date of my period (my dad had died the same year - I was not in a great place). But the thing is, he told me to take off my top to examine my breasts. Was this a normal thing back then??

My partner at the time was waiting in reception. My son is amazing and we co-parented after only two years together, but everything has been good.

I had another child 15 years later and it was a totally different experience (NHS-wise!) It's been almost thirty years and I'm still upset about it.

I'm an intelligent person and I'm still so angry at the person I was then to not speak up.

So my AIBU:
AIBU - make a complaint
YABU - Forget about it, man!

https://www.northamptonchron.co.uk/news/crime/doctor-and-ex-northampton-saints-captain-allegedly-stroked-teenagers-breasts-during-examination-at-his-northampton-surgery-tribunal-hears-1229989 www.northamptonchron.co.uk/news/crime/doctor-and-ex-northampton-saints-captain-allegedly-stroked-teenagers-breasts-during-examination-at-his-northampton-surgery-tribunal-hears-1229989

Im ginger and I had trouble feeding my baby. The midwife gave me some cream for my sore nipples and said its usual for fair skins to get sore nipples.

I think you are over-thinking what you 'think' happened.
When I was pregnant in the early 1970s there were no early scans, home pregnancy tests. The diagnosis of pregnancy relied on urine checks, physical examinations including breast and TBH I did not feel at all violated - it was just part of the procedure!
I am a little surprised that it was still happening in the 1990s /2000s but it may have been some GPs did more checks than others.

Op actually at that stage of pregnancy yes, this was done by some doctors, it was to determine if any issues with breast feeding could be determined, either in ducts, or if suspected breast tissue issues.

did you feel the doctor was sexualising the exam?

can you explain why are you still so angry nearly 3 decades later? Is it because you felt it was sexualised when he did it?

but who would you complain to? What do you think the result of that would be 30 years later.

personally I’d maybe look at counselling to try to help you, as I don’t think you will get resolution the complain route.

I had cystitis when I was 8 and has a vaginal examination (fingers inserted) I'd made my dad promise I wouldn't have to but as soon as the Dr said it my dad told me I'd got too. Drs held such power

If he was doing a physical examination to check for signs of pregnancy, I can see why he might have checked breasts. Why did you only think you “might” be pregnant?

I had an experience with a male doctor when I was 17 so this was late 80s. My lovely family doctor who has known me since I was born had retired so I was just passed on to another one who would have been around 40. He asked me to undress to my underwear so he could feel my tummy. It didn’t make sense at the time but I never said anything despite knowing something was off. wish I had. So YANBU but would I complain about the past now, probably not.

Prior to my first child (born 2006) I had inverted nipples and from approx 1992 to 1998 when attending for smears/ a check due to an issue in late teens doctors would check my breasts and nipples as well. It stopped when I changed doctors and moved (2000), my midwives and doctors never raised it even in pregnancy. I've never given it much thought BUT my surgery would always provide a female clinician or offer a chaperone. I'm not doubting that you were made uncomfortable, that is a fault of the doctor and their approach, in fact whilst I was never a fan I could tell the staff were making sure I was not upset or distressed. I'm very sorry that, for whatever reason, you were not given all the information nor made to feel safe.

Of course she feels the Dr was “sexualising” the exam, and of course she would feel angry and violated at that. Honestly the tone of your post implies that you don’t believe anything unethical happened, you don’t think there’s anything to be angry about and even if there is how silly to still feel upset decades later go and get your self “fixed” by therapy. Just a shit storm really.

@Buxton87 lots of posters say they were subjected to the same.

I saw a cardiologist privately for some tests - I couldn't sit on the bicycle because I had a skin condition on my groin that made it too painful - the registrar asked if he could see my groin - I said no - but I am still creeped out by him even asking.
The test then involved me using exercise equipment whilst topless with people walking casually in and out of the room, I had no privacy - I felt totally violated, I complained to the staff and they sympathized and agreed, they suggested I raise a formal complaint - I did so but I was told it was H&S that I didn't have a curtain for privacy. When I finally returned to the Lead Cardiologist with the results I complained to him too- he was horrified, said that they had changed this practice in the NHS years ago and he would insist on a change or refuse to refer to this hospital - who knows he did but I am glad I stood up for myself even if it didn't get me anywhere at the time.

Yes it was a thing.

All that might be true but could all be applied without a breast exam. You can ask a woman if she has inverted nipples.

I had a similar experience that I recently thought back k on. When I was 17 in 2003 I got pregnant, I decided to have an abortion and went via bpas. Anyway, obviously they speak to you by yourself to make sure it's what you want and your not being forced, when I had to see the surgeon he also wanted to examine me, he told me to lift my top up and wanted to stick his finger inside me. I wasn't as assertive as I am now but luckily I thought quickly and told him I had thrush ans no, but I was so scared because I didn't realise they'd do that. Looking back on it now I don't think that's normal? But I could be wrong

Thanks for sharing your experience. I had something similar. I visited a private endocrinologist in around 2011 for a monitoring pituitary adenoma. He asked to check my boobs for lumps and no chaperone was present. I thought it was odd but didn’t question it. It’s popped into mind occasionally since and I’ve questioned whether he should have done that.

I live in another country and I think this is quite normal. But we have preventative tests a lot.

I am not sure why now after all these years you are thinking of reporting.

He did a medical check. Doctors see breasts all the time, and it is their job to pick up any abnormalities early. I am not sure why everyone is jumping onto this being some form of sexual abuse. Not everyone checks their breasts properly or regularly.

I see a gynae every six months for a pap smear. At every single check he still checks my breasts. it is part of the check up. He checks colon and ovaries every time too. Internally. Because it is a preventative check.

Wait until you hear where the dermatologist checks when he is searching out suspect skin cancer spots.

People complain that doctors miss things, and then people complain when they try to proper checks too. It seems they cannot win.

Back in the eighties (in my early twenties) I went to a GP about something or other (a sore throat maybe) and he asked me to take off my bra and examined me. I’m a hundred per cent positive that it was abuse of power as I’ve never had such a thing since and it didn’t sit right with me over time. It still angers me to think about it but I have no idea who the dr was or even where it was now.

I was pregnant in the 1980s and had my breasts examined both times. My understanding was that it was normal, not only to check for inverted nipples or any other barriers to breastfeeding, but because it was an opportunity to ensure there were no other problematic conditions present. Even these days many women don’t check their breasts or are reluctant to go to the GP with worries, and even less so then, so it was prudent for the doctor to do it.
Of course abuse takes place sometimes, and it shouldn’t. But physical examination is an unavoidable part of medicine, and the idea that any form of touching is tantamount to abuse is a strange current take on such practices.

Have you actually read the thread?

It's so depressing. I posted on here seeking similar assurance as I had an uncomfortable experience with a male midwife when my son was born in 2017. After birth once everyone had left he "checked for grazes" by rubbing his fingers all over my labia. He then kissed me to "congratulate me". Again when nobody else was around.

I have had 3 births, all with grazes and nobody else needed to do that to check. He also overstepped boundaries with the kiss; I barely registered him as he only came on shift 1 hour before my son was born and I had had a different (lovely) midwife before that.

He also did other weird boundary crossing stuff that I never experienced before or since while I was in post natal.

The vulnerability and lack of familiarity in a medical setting is so difficult to navigate. At the very least male HCPs need to be aware at how routine/normal procedures can feel violating and intimidating.

Hmmm when I was about 18 (I’m 61 now) I went to our local gp practice with a pulled muscle in my back. Saw a doctor that I don’t think was a regular at the surgery who got me to strip down to my underwear and bend over! I remember I was wearing a matching bra and pants set with Chinese writing on. Never forgotten how bizarre I thought being asked to do this was. Wouldn’t bloody do it now

I seem to remember a time when it was pretty standard for doctors to automatically offer a breast exam, esp if you’d gone in for gynae or related issues, so to me your earlier experience sounds fairly normal for the time, OP. I’m guessing it was considered best practice, but at some point it was stopped?

I had quite a few when I was younger and never felt uncomfortable, but it does sound like some of these experiences are way off the mark, especially when it was done with no explanation.

I don’t know what you can really do though. You could certainly put in a enquiry or complaint, but as someone said upthread, not sure how much closure that would ultimately get you?

My doctor sniffed my nipple once causing his upper lip to graze on me. He was checking for infection…

Are you reading the same thread as me?

Checking the breasts? Without a chaperone? Of a person with a sore throat?

Jeez.

Christ this thread is so depressing. The amount of crap women have to deal with is unbelievable.

When I was 18, in 1986, I got a new office job at a large firm in town. Part of the offer was that you had to have a medical. The Dr made me undress and take off my bra so he could have a good look. I knew it wasn't right and I did mention it to my new supervisor, who wasn't impressed, but no one ever did anything in those days. Men really can be disgusting.