AirBnB Guest terminal illness

[Zazz101]

Hi, I am looking for suggestions. I rent out my house on airBnB and I have just found out that my next guest has a terminal illness.

They have organised a family get together. I would love to do something to make this an extra special time for them all. I know I could just knock money off the house, but they are wanting to make memories, and I would like to do something to ensure it’s a lovely holiday for them.

My only contact is the person that is ill, so I cannot ask them for any ideas.

so please, if anyone has any suggestions, please let me know.

We’re going through this as a family and other than decorating for Christmas anything more would feel quite intrusive.

Please don’t do anything which interferes with their time together. Even meant in kindness, it would feel somehow incongruent (I can’t think of a better word), like we were having to somehow include someone else’s plans and feelings into our personal and private time.

It would not be unreasonable to ask if they celebrate Christmas because you'd like to decorate. Then decorate or not depending. Hampers, tickets, meals, free stay etc come across very lady bountiful. Why not just let them enjoy their holiday in peace without unnecessary interference from a stranger? Leave a welcome pack of local attractions, shops and services (normal in a B&B) and a note to say if you need anything please don't hesitate to ask, then let them have the holiday they booked.

This.
I have a terminally ill DP. We don’t need extra fuss, it just more we have to think about, and our heads are full enough.

You can definitely ask if they celebrate Christmas as you usually decorate every year for guests that do. That way they don't feel like you're doing anything special but when they see the decorations you can go a bit overboard. Better to ask in case they would hate that or they are from a different religion etc. And then leave a hamper, maybe more of a "welcome pack" with things they'll almost certainly use, we used to offer this as an optional extra in a house we rented out and it made people's lives easier not having to go straight to a supermarket on arrival - so we stocked the fridge with milks, eggs, juices, all different types of teas/coffees, cereals, loaves of bread etc, dishwasher/washing machine tabs. I think a full welcome pack plus a special Christmas hamper full of edible treats and maybe some games like pack of cards, board games you have, would be lovely here. Definitely don't cook a meal unless it's an Air BnB where you rent rooms in your own house.

You sound lovely OP and your heart is clearly in the right place.
My older sister passed away from cancer last year. We had initially booked an air bnb stay in Cornwall with both her children and mine. We also were going with our two other sisters. It was just our time as four sisters to make our memories. This was planned due to us finding out in Jan, it was terminal. She died in April. The trip never happened.

I would have preferred a lovely hamper and just time alone. As lovely as the meal sounds, personally it's too intrusive and she couldn't eat much any ways. Plus the dietary needs had changed, it would have felt like a painful constant reminder.

We love to decorate our homes for Christmas although we both are quite minimalist with our color choices. I would have preferred a simple decorated Christmas but with the add ons... movies, hot chocolate because as lovely as the memory would be of that "fantastic christmas in the air bnb". It would have also been a painful memory. The pic idea sounds lovely. Our other sister loves taking pics of us all and has annoying as I find it at times, it's lovely having pics to look back on. Her children at the time were 1 and 4. It would have been nice to have toys for them and board games to entertain us. As due to the weather and her being in pain, we probably would have spent a lot of time inside just chilling and spending time together.

And if they don't celebrate Christmas? It's already obnoxiously inescapable in December

Okay Ebenezer!

Agree about the not making a lot of extra fuss. It's very sweet of you to think of them but what they want is to be together and do nice things for each other, not to be overwhelmed by what someone else thinks they would like. Sometimes extra things like a whole hamper of food, while meant to be thoughtful, can just be "clutter" that means someone has to use up headspace rethinking the meal plan. I would also be embarrassed if someone went overboard like that in a commercial setting.

By all means upgrade a couple of things that you might usually include - say a couple of bottles of nice juices in the fridge and a couple of packs of nice biscuits. But more than that ends up being intrusive, as the poster above said - and can also backfire on you if they write about it in their review then everyone expects the same treatment.

When my friend's adult son was in late terminal phase last year, he would've made some pretty derisive comments about an explosion of Xmas decorations or loads of food. "Fucking Hell, I know I'm dying but seriously?"

I think this is a very wise point - you've no idea how they are dealing with this situation or the stage the individual is at.

A nice hamper or maybe a discount / free stay (but even then I'm a little unsure, some people might find that really awkward) would be more than kind.

Maybe some games too? Borrow some from friends and leave them for the family to enjoy (or not) but nothing like a game and some nibbles for a relaxing afternoon/evening.
You sound lovely, I think anything will be appreciated.

I think some Cook meals sound perfect and also the use of a Polaroid camera with a few films.

I honestly clicked this link thinking you were going to be moaning about someone possibly dying in your house. This has cheered me up immensely. Thank you OP

Presumably if the person has seen fit to disclose to the OP that they have a terminal illness she will have some idea of the potential health limitations or tone of the comms. If they are coming for a quiet last gathering I doubt the OP would be suggesting that she makes a gesture in this way.

I think some nicer goodies and a tree/fairy lights would be a lovely gesture and they can take as much or as little as they want.

You're having an emotional response to what is a difficult thing to hear, so it's understandable for that to then turn into wanting to do something to help. However, please consider that as you don't know them, anything you do may run the risk of increasing their emotional burden. They may feel guilty that you've gone to extra trouble, depending on what you do it may create waste either for them or you and they may find that hard to deal with. The best thing you can do is to provide them with everything you say you will in the listing, double check that everything is in perfect condition and working order, and adhere to all stated timings.

Depending on how long the illness has been going on for, the person may well be fed up of being treated differently by people. You're definitely not going to offend them by only providing what you state in your listing, whereas you may well cause difficulties by providing extra things. If you would normally decorate the property for Christmas then by all means do that but I would caution against going overboard.

This comes from a good place on your part, but I'm just going to echo pp - don't do anything. Just leave them be.
Let them have the time together.

I would find a camera really upsetting. 'Here is a camera so you can take your last pictures together'. Everyone takes pictures with their phones.

Hamper, decorations lovely idea.

As you're an AirBnB, just be careful that anything you do might get mentioned in your review and other future guests might have their expectations raised and be disappointed.

I have a relative with an AirBnb. When they started out they baked some bread for the guests. It got mentioned in the review. Now they have to bake bread for every guest!

Don't do anything. You are getting emotional about something you are not a part of. Anything extra you do is just annoying. If anyone offered to cook a meal for me I'd find it rude and intrusive. A camera is just a silly idea. Just make sure it's clean and leave them to it.

I'm sorry, but this.

When my late husband was terminally ill, he and I would have hated this kind of fuss being made.
Time together with the family was precious, and a host who focused on his condition (DH never did - He wanted life to be normal) and who intruded on that family time or was sentimental about it would have given us the ick.

I'm sure you mean well, but there's a performative element to a lot of this stuff these days (thanks Instagram) and your intent could be misinterpreted.

I also feel that you should back out a bit, as kind as you are. Basic hamper, some simple decorations and leve them to it.

What a lovely thought OP. I was in a similar situation once, but as a travel agent booking a last holiday rather than a host. The chap was well known locally to us and far too young to be going through that.

As a company we quietly upgraded their room and their airline seats at our expense and said nothing.

I think a hamper of nice things and some fresh flowers in the property sounds lovely. A lovely surprise for the guests, but not so over the top that they feel singled out, you might do this for all Christmas guests as far as they know...

Is it a generational thing? I'm fairly young and polaroids and disposable cameras are pretty in now haha. So I wouldn't see it as a condescending gesture.

It's always lovely when airbnb hosts leave some goodies from the local area - milk, butter, sausages/ bacon/ eggs in the fridge, some jam and some bakery bread, maybe a cake. It depends how much you want to spend.

It's always appreciated and even if not everything is quite right for our diet, we just leave it and the host can use it - they're not usually things with short use-by dates.

I would definitely not offer to cook a meal, I think that's too much. People usually want to be left to their own devices when they go away without too much interference from hosts.

You don't need them provided by your Air B&B host, though.

It would be extremely weird to tell your airbnb host that you were terminally ill and then arrive to find a disposable camera to photograph your final memories. That is a very inappropriate gesture regardless of whether disposable cameras are "in".

How do you know?

I don’t mean to sound insensitive but I can’t imagine dropping that into “comments” on air bnb