AirBnB Guest terminal illness

[Zazz101]

Hi, I am looking for suggestions. I rent out my house on airBnB and I have just found out that my next guest has a terminal illness.

They have organised a family get together. I would love to do something to make this an extra special time for them all. I know I could just knock money off the house, but they are wanting to make memories, and I would like to do something to ensure it’s a lovely holiday for them.

My only contact is the person that is ill, so I cannot ask them for any ideas.

so please, if anyone has any suggestions, please let me know.

Crikey don't offer to cook a meal! Lovely to be thoughtful but why would they want a stranger in their space cooking stuff they may not want anyway!?

Decorations
Leave some goodies

That would suffice

I think taking money off is the safest option. That way they can buy themselves a takeaway or whatever. I would give them as much off as you can afford.

Hampers and disposable cameras etc aren't everyone's cup of tea. Just make sure the place is clean, warm and welcoming.

I would not provide an instant camera. That's just weird and totally unnecessary.

Sorry hadn't read the replies - see it's sorted

I would find anything more than tea/coffee/nice biscuits/cake very intrusive. No cameras; everyone has cameras on their phones. Other than that a warm, clean, comfortable house is all I would want.

I'm sorry Op but these people are not your friends. You don't need to worry about them being offended by you doing nothing fussy or extra. You are their airbnb host. Most people don't want any interaction at all with the hosts and want privacy.

I also think a disposable camera is a silly childish idea. They don't need to be given something to take their last pictures with. They likely all have camera phones and not many people will want the added inconvenience of finding somewhere and paying to get the film developed.

It sounds like your heart is in the right place but I would be careful not to overstep. I dont understand ppl saying to give the accommodation for free, I unfortunately have lost ppl to terminal illness and ime this would have been seen as a pity gesture which the ppl I knew would have hated

Ime normality has been what ppl have wanted ehen they know they are dying.

Likewise, not everyone loves Christmas and finding an overly decorated house knowing it's their last Christmas could go either way, while meant kindly, it could cause upset. I agree that maybe asking whether they would like the house decorating (in a way thst makes it sound you always offer this in December and they aren't a special case).

Ultimately you don't know much about these ppl other than they are dying and you don't know how they wish to deal with it. A hamper, cake, etc are lovely ideas but anything else you risk overstepping ime.

@Zazz101 I have run a holiday let business for nearly 30 years and have been on the periphery of pretty much every possible human joy and sadness.

While it's nice to do a little extra something, you don't want to do anything super-special that's mentioned in a review. Unfortunately there are some chancers around who will fake a terminal illness if they get wind of a host who gives them a freebie/provides restaurant vouchers/does a million other kind things. Even if you just bake a special cake and one guest mentions it in a review, you then get five other guests saying "but I booked it only because then review said I'd get a special home-baked cake". That kind of thing.

In your position, I would probably do a few extras - a particularly nice/festive bunch of flowers, perhaps, and 'better' goodies than usual (I provide tea, coffee, hot choc, biscuits etc - but in that situation tend to upgrade all of these, but not so much that it sets up unrealistic expectations for future guests).

I wouldn't go overboard with decorations - just do whatever you normally do (I tend to go for neutral and tasteful, and not too many of them).

Leaving aside the practicalities of reviews and such like: my experience of guests is that the overwhelming majority (99.9% of them) want to be left to their own devices. They want to come in to a property that is warm, welcoming and - above all - spotlessly clean. Then they want there to be functioning wifi. They like tea and coffee and biscuits. They do not like fuss - and in my experience, this goes for guests who are ill.

It's also the case that home-made things can be problematic, as some guests have allergies and need an ingredients list - so while it's a lovely idea, it's not one that everyone appreciates. An entire meal would be massively overstepping, quite apart from being a minefield if, say, every guest went down with food poisoning.

Alcohol has also become a tricky issue as hosts who provide a free bottle of wine are supposed to be licensed to serve alcohol.

This might be useful to you, @Zazz101: https://www.pascuk.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Welcome-Hampers-PASC-UK-Sept-21.pdf

Basically, make sure your house is 100% clean, warm and welcoming, and make it clear to the guests that they can contact you at any time, should they need anything. And then let them get on with it.

(If you were to go down the 'free stay' route, which I have never done because I couldn't afford to, then do it in the form of a refund well after they have written their review!)

And I think the disposable camera idea is horrificly insensitive "best take some photos before you die". Not to mention useless given most ppl have decent cameras on their phones.

Not to mention the dying person may not want photos of them when they are ill. I can only imagine some ppl on here have no experience of terminal illness ffs

I know...isn't it lovely. Love all the excess and overindulgence. My cupboards are bursting with goodies already. and living in London, I make the absolute most of the lights, mulled wine and the fab Christmas atmosphere. I even stay late at work so that when I walk out of work in the dark, there it all is 😘

I really wouldn't do that, my friend is terminally ill and she would absolutely hate this and any other gesture made just because she is ill as she'd see it as charity. She just wants to carry on as normal while she can.

Make sure the house is spotless , fresh flowers and a nice tray of local biscuits/bread but bear in mind if they write a review other guests might wonder why they didn't get the same.

I think asking if they'd like the house decorated as it's Xmas is a nice idea but I would double check as I agree with the PP that you need to make sure you aren't imposing your idea of Christmas on them.

Sorry just spotted the camera comment OP. I agree with some others, don’t do that. It really is odd.

I think do what you feel comfortable doing OP.

As posts from people going through the same thing have proven - you can’t win. What I might have liked, another person wouldn’t - terminal illness or not.

The fact you have considered it at all is a lovely gesture 🙂

You are their airbnb host. Most people don't want any interaction at all with the hosts and want privacy.

Ultimately you don't know much about these ppl other than they are dying and you don't know how they wish to deal with it.

Both those things.

Being kind, isn't about pulling out all kinds of unnecessary stops. It's about actually putting that family first, and neither sentimentalising or patronising them. They know what they want from the stay, so trust them to be able to do it for themselves. The decoration and the hamper is plenty.

(The camera thing shrieks "you/your family member is going to die", to me)

Exactly.

Sadly, I have lost many people I love to terminal illnesses, and several of them were adamant that they did not when their picture taken when they were very ill. They felt very strongly about not wanting their loved ones to have a permanent reminder of how sick they were.

Lovely thoughts but from being in a similar position recently please just stay out of the way and leave them too it. I am sure they will be thinking carefully about what the person can manage and doing any family traditions/ meals they can manage. Even Christmas decorations might be upsetting, it is all so personal.

I would vote a message to say let me know if there are any special requests and I will see what I can do. Then if you can afford it either discount the stay or offer the family a free stay for next year. Again they might not take you up on it but that first Christmas without them a weekend to come back and remember a lovely weekend might be appreciated.

I’d put a wreath on the door, some fairly lights in the main room and maybe a couple of those battery/rechargeable candles. As a guest I would want the place to be spotlessly clean, warm, working bedside lights and enough household items like dishwasher tabs, paper towels, loo paper and soap to cover over Christmas. A small welcome hamper is always nice but I wouldn’t want or expect anything more. I agree a camera is intrusive. Over decoration of the property wouldn’t be to my taste either.

I agree with hamper, make it as personal as possible for them, are they all adults or will there be children too? Definitely a beautiful bunch of flowers maybe with a hand written note from you.

A close friend of mine has a cottage she lets out and part of her package is to receive a hamper and it’s so beautifully done, it comes in a tote bag and always has a bottle of wine, a few local beers, jam, biscuits, tea and ground coffee. All local brands. She includes a postcard and colouring books/pencils for children.

I think it’s lovely and I’m sure whatever you do will be very much appreciated.

https://www.groupaccommodation.com/blog/owner-resources/what-should-property-owners-include-holiday-home-welcome-pack

I think leaving a camera is very weird and a little offensive. Everyone has cameras on their phones so it’s almost like you’re emphasising that they’re going to die so had better take some photos before they do.

The best thing to remember is that this isn’t about you - or about making you feel good for doing something nice. You’re totally irrelevant to them.

(also, I hate to raise this but some people say these things to try and get discounts)

PLEASE rethink the camera, plenty of people have already explained why it's not a good idea. The hamper could well also be intrusive if it creates waste, which they may feel guilty about.

Not believing in "do nothing for fear of offending" is 100% valid when you know the people. It is absolutely not valid in this situation because all these people expect from you is to provide what you said you would. Sure, you may not offend them by providing extras but you definitely won't offend them by providing what they asked for so why take the risk?

Again, thank you. I am reading all the comments, and they are so helpful. I won’t do the camera idea, as I can see that been taken the wrong way. I will ensure the fire is lit when they arrive with plenty of wood.

I will be triple checking everything works, and ensuring they have enough supplies that no one has to go out if they don’t want to.

Some people have mentioned it may be a scam, I don’t believe it is, but if it is so be it. The majority of people are kind and honest, so I will go ahead and ensure my home is as welcoming as possible.

Thank you again for the advice it has really made me think.

Nice wine and chocolates and biscuits.
Definitely no personal intrusion like a meal.
Surely you decorate with a tree anyway ?

A discount would probably be very welcome because terminal illness affects people's capacity to work, and the people around them. And even if they can work there are usually hospital appointments and potentially treatment related sickness.

I think a lovely hamper is the way to go

An email 'if there is anything I can do to make your stay more comfortable please let me know' is OK

Anything else is over the top I think