AIBU to ask for your real life Hyacinth Bucket quotes

[JustAGirlScotland]

Went to a Christmas fair with my mum at the weekend.

She spotted some Norwegian style Christmas napkins that she liked. Passed them to me and asked, "Are these 3 ply? I will not buy napkins that are less than 3 ply".

It really made me laugh and I wondered if others have Hyacinth style quotes from friends/family?

When my DD1 was about four months old, my MIL was finally coming to meet her. When my own DM found this out, she must have decided to mark her territory or become competitive announced that she would come over at the same time MIL was due to arrive. I explained that she head driving 12hrs to the airport and flying for six (Australia) and deserved to spend some time meeting DD1 alone. My mother decreed “BUT I’M more her grandmother than SHE is!!!”

TBF, there are many stories I could share from each of them, but this is one of the least offensive.

Someone on the radio was just talking about this- always loved the ‘she’s the one with room for a pony’ quote😅 (running out the door so don’t have exact quote!!)

The poem actually starts "Phone for the fish knives, Norman." Sorry.

”mystery shopper”: that’s hilarious. But also kind of sad some people live feeling so on edge about doing what they want.

This has made my day! I have just realised WE have room for a pony under @Emotionalsupportviper 's criteria!!

I am quite thrilled.

I am also guilty of saying the very cringy sentence to DH; 'But this is why we have staff'. It was in reference to our fortnightly guy who comes to do the garden. He has never let me forget it. He's quite posh and I am most certainly not.

I had my tonsils out when I was 4. According to my Mum, when I was offered fish fingers to eat in the hospital I replied “No, we only eat line-caught haddock in our house”. She was very proud

Reminds me of my dd when she was going to guide camp.
I was filling in any dietary needs, allergies etc.
Dd: put that I will not eat veal.
Me: Dd you will not get veal on guide camp.
Dd: I don’t care, I need them to know that I don’t agree with the production of veal.
Guide leaders and I had a good chuckle when I handed the form in.

Cheeky cow!

A lady I once knew was a cleaner for a very posh family.

They had a workman in to do some job or other and she gave him a cup of tea. While he was drinking it the husband of the family came home and saw him. He didn't say anything then, but when the man had gone he deliberately took the cup out of the dishwasher and smashed it "in case any of the family drank out of it".

What an absolute arse!

When I was being shown round my allotment, the fella in the next plot asked why I wanted one. My answer?

”Well, in my last house I had land…”

I could have dug a hole and buried myself there and then.

Another favourite came from my DS when he was about 7. A little voice came floating up the stairs,

”MUM - is it ok if I put my brioche in the Aga?”

For context, I grew up in a council house and we’re not as twatty as this post makes me sound. Honest.

It's not quite Hyacinth because my dear MIL was not trying to be anything she wasn't, just being her authentic self...

When talking about her recent holiday with her step grandchildren, she mentioned that they had taken a helicopter from the airport to the ski resort. I said something like 'oh wow, what an amazing experience!' and was greeted with a little chuckle and 'oh, we do it every year. You have to, otherwise it's a 3 hour drive. You can't do that with young children!'

Silly me.

A seasonal one, which I have posted before.

Walking home one winter past a lovely Notting-Hill style garden square. The snow is thick on the ground, some rosy-cheeked cherubs are putting the finishing touches to their snowman. A lady comes to the door of a beautiful house and her children call across to her.

“Mummy Mummy look, we’ve almost finished!”

“oh Tarquin well DONE. What an excellent snowman that is Araminta. Just let me run to the kitchen and get you some black olives for his eyes”.

I overheard an old colleague telling someone that she lived in Suffolk.
Bugger that. I grew up in the same area as her and know for a fact that the village she lived in is in Essex 😂😂

@salsmum
That's not an unusual attitude, here on MN it's a common thought that social housing is only for the poor unemployed and mentally ill. Very ingrained ignorance and snobbiness.

In Sainsbury’s with the kids.

Me: Would you like a treat? What would you like?
DS (4): Sweets.
DD (6): (practically yelling) Mummy, can I have a pot of the lemon and herb olives from the deli counter?

I had an ectopic pregnancy and mil (referred to as Mrs. Bouquet) in the family said I should take solice in that Sophie (Royal family) had one so it can happen to anyone.

The "Oxford" thing reminds me of an old Good Show sketch.

Eccles is (unusually) wearing a tie.

Neddy: Is that an Oxford tie you're wearing?

Eccles: Yes.

Neddy: I'm impressed! What did you do at Oxford?

Eccles: Bought a tie

Before going on my first trip abroad at age 16 to Marseille, my mother took me to a department store to buy sunscreen.
Shop assistant: oh where are you going?
My mother: she's going to the Mediterranean

🤣

Don't worry - her white stilettos will have given her away.

(You can take the girl out of Essex . . . )

I used to know this woman whose child was in the same class at school as my child. She had a permanent aura of someone who had been dealt a bum deal in life. She honestly felt that she deserved more than anyone else. She and her family were offered a rather nice council house on a small estate and she launched into this whole story about how it wasn't really a council house because the builder had actually built it for the private sector but had gone bust and had to sell it to the council, so you see, her house was better than my council house.

Of course, the whole story was a complete load of rubbish, the fabrication of a very dissatisfied and resentful brain.

Why do people do this?

My grandson's 3 names were chosen because the initials will look good on the scoresheet when he opens the batting for England! Not so much Hyacinthy as hopeful!

Acquaintance had moved to London from the sticks. Her proud 'Hyacinth' mother told all and sundry she lived in a 'penthouse'. Yes, it was a top floor flat - on a really dodgy council estate where the wee soaked lifts hardly worked - handy for said top floor. It was an illegal sublet and ended up being overrun with people following her up from the sticks to the extent people were sleeping in the kitchen.
Ex's nephew informed his mates we had an indoor Pool - it was a pool table in the garage.
Think best was an alternative comedian who claimed he lived in 'North Notting Hill' reality, Harrow Road.

My MIL is a Hyacinth, she is also racist. When you combine the two everytime she mentions anyone who is not white she has to tell you whether it is relevant or not and follows it up with, "a very nice person". Drives me insane!

My parents own a caravan on a site where about a third are privately owned and the rest belong to the site.

One evening we came back to find someone parked in our space. My ex knocked on their door and said 'excuse me, would you mind moving? This is a privately-owned caravan with a privately-owned car park space'.

Cringed at the time but we laugh now and still use it day to day in jest.

YES!! My nan does this. 'She was black, but still very nice of course'

Since my children were little i have always made pasta with pesto and seafood, we call it strong mussels and it was their favourite as children. Its not posh really just a pack of seafood from Asda. My eldest once took it to school for lunch in a food flask. When he told the dinnerladies what it was they called him posh - he wouldn't eat it again.