AIBU to ask for your real life Hyacinth Bucket quotes

[JustAGirlScotland]

Went to a Christmas fair with my mum at the weekend.

She spotted some Norwegian style Christmas napkins that she liked. Passed them to me and asked, "Are these 3 ply? I will not buy napkins that are less than 3 ply".

It really made me laugh and I wondered if others have Hyacinth style quotes from friends/family?

Tour pronounced something like tower without the e is a dialect or accent thing in odd parts of Scotland.

My own mother was Scottish, but with bourgeois aspirations. As kids, we had to tread an unpredictable line between not speaking like the Gasworks Gang ruffians in our small Scottish town, but not using expressions that she regarded as "too English," either.

Welcome. We use the gold tea set regularly and have a beautiful art deco set for morning coffee. The silver tea set is used at Christmas.. The joy of seeing my.lovely down to earth brother in law sitting with a gold tea cup and saucer is priceless.. they put up with me and my affectations. 😉😂🤣

Bit of a bleak one, but my nanna and grandad always revered the mayor in our tiny (2000 people) town.

Their burial plot is now next door to his and my dad joked that they'd have been thrilled at this !

" just popping a wash in the Meee - Laaay"
( Miele )

My aunt. Serious eye roll.

A cold day, parents picking up kids from the Cubs meeting hut. One boy ran out and said loudly "Mother, I trust you remembered to bring my scarf?" The other boys never forgot that.......

Reminds me of a neighbour 50 years ago who knocked on everyone's door asking if they had a corkscrew he could borrow, We've bought a bottle of wine! He then stood waiting for us to be impressed, he probably hated screw caps in years to come.

My friends mum is very much like Mirandas mum where she whispers words that she cannot bear to say.
My friend bought an ex council house as her first house and at the house warming party, friends mum says " oh it's so brave to buy a former <whisper> local authority house". She thought my friend was akin to volunteering in a third world country, by buying a 3 bed ex council house. She couldn't bring herself to say "council house" or "former local authority house". It was whispered like it was something be ashamed of.

My DC on his first day at school had to draw his favourite food.

He drew Crab.

We still howl at that.

( We had just got back from Camping in France a couple of days before. )

My parents' friend always introduced herself with her qualification, "Hi. I'm Anna B.A."

She also always made sure to mention that they had a mercedes. "Oh husband is just driving his mercedes to play golf". Or on arrival anywhere: "Hi. We just got here in our mercedes".

Her husband was much older than her. My parents had known him before they met her so knew his real age but when she met others she always made it a point to say that he was younger than his age. Even after he died she said that they got his birthdate wrong on his grave stone.

Her son did very well at school and she always said that he only talks to kids who also get grade As in all subjects. He was actually a very nice kid so I really doubt that's true.

When I was younger I always thought she was a bit ridiculous and dumb. She also lied incessantly and was quite cantankerous. I used to wonder why my parents were such good friends with her and used to feel sorry for her kids. (Her husband was super nice though). I think her kids also found her slightly embarrassing but apart from being a bit cringe worthy I think now she was a very good parent. My mum always used to tell me that for all her flaws she was actually incredibly courageous, open minded, quick witted and smart. I couldn't see it then but now in retrospection I can. Just goes to show that you can learn something from everyone.

When my son, who's now a young adult, was about 5, I served up sausage and mash. Much to DH and my amusement, he took a mouthful and said "Mmm, these are delicious, Mummy, are they butchers sausages?" Even now, more than a decade later, we still gently tease him about it, and sausages are always served up with "sorry DS, these sausages came from Sainsbury's", or " special treat for you, DS, these are butcher's sausages!"

One of my own - we've always referred to a local solicitors' chain as Nantes pronounced as in the French town. Turned out it was Nan-tees.

My dbro and I were the kids that lived on the London Road in the big house. lots of other kids wouldn’t talk to us or play with us at school because of where we lived.

Big was really just the overgrown jungle of a garden which took my parents twenty years to tame but was admittedly fun to play in as kids.

Parents had thrown themselves neck high in deck to buy it, all our clothes were from older cousins and I’d never been on holiday until we were 12.

My mother was called Hyacinth by her SIL behind her back, I only realised years later what it meant.

must have rubbed off on me because I have cake forks, a cake slice (admittedly not engraved) but I do have silver sugar (cube) tongs 😂😂😂

I'm from Birmingham but my parents moved to the outskirts of the city about 20 years ago. At our wedding my Mum she announced to DH's Aunt that she lived in North Warwickshire, for her part DH's Aunt apparently comes from 'the edge of the Peak District', she's from Sheffield. A true meeting of minds, beautiful 🤣

A bit off topic, but one which makes me blush 20years later!

When my daughter started primary school, we had some very dodgy neighbours (used to go up and punch the headteacher...) and they had a daughter 3 years older than mine. This girl immediately fixated on to my Reception child and would come and take her away from her classmates and play with her elsewhere. My daughter was a) rather shy and b) born at the end of August, so disadvantaged in terms of making friends (2/3 class had already gone up into Y1).

I was really anxious for her to make friends, and told my husband, who didn't understand the problem. It was summer and the windows were all open, so neighbours could hear everything. I said in an exasperated tone "But I want her to play with children from her own CLASS!". I suddenly realised how that sounded and went off to go into a foetal position, like Basil Fawlty!

(Maybe there was a subconscious wish there....I may have to admit to that, Dr Freud!)

I've just remembered one!

When I was a manager in a charity shop, an older lady came in and bought a lovely mother-of-the-bride style dress and matching jacket.
When she came to the till, she asked if I had any 'designer' bags I could put it in. I found a plastic John Lewis bag and asked if that'd do.
She replied 'It will have to. I couldn't bear the thought of someone knowing I bought my outfit from a (whispers) charity shop"
I honestly thought she was going to vomit when she said the word 'charity' 🙄🤦‍♀️

My mum does the whisper thing for people who are black.

”i have to go for a meeting with the solicitor. He’s <stage whisper> BLACK, you know.”

Similar for gay people (if she knows they are), and fat people! She HAS to mention it. But at the same time it’s so scandalous it has to be in a whisper.

I'm probably a bit Hyacinth. I bought now-DH new bedding when I first started staying over because I didn't like sleeping on polycotton sheets. He still teases me about that. I also refuse to buy tracksuits for my 13yo, much to his disgust, because I don't want him to look like a drug dealer.

I live in a mid-terrace house in a dodgy part of a dodgy town.

my paternal grandmother was a bit Hyacinth - she and grandpa lived in a big house with an acre of garden and, yes, room for a pony!!! She mixed in WI circles which involved the local Lady of the Manor - one day Grandma came back from a meeting and whispered to my mother "I can't believe Lady Smith had the marmalade on the table still in the jar!!!". Grandma made a big deal of decanting jam etc into a dish because 'that's was the gentry do' - needless to say after her visit to Lady Smith, the jars went on the table she also never wore trousers because the Queen didn't wear trousers and pronounced Australia "ooorstralia" and Austria "ooorstria" in an effort to sound more 'posh'!

My friend told me that when we met she thought I was really posh.

In our first conversations (among other friends) I had said, 'oh yes I Have a contact who knows all about that'

She was a bit younger and had only had friends or work colleagues and apparently 'contact' sounded posh and mature 🤣

In reality, I'd been in a meeting with the same person a couple of times when they'd discussed said issue, but I didn't know them well enough as a friend or colleague, but could get in touch if I needed to, contact sounded sensible to me, but really posh to her!

Mum needed a new oven and I found the one she wanted on the AO website. She however insisted I bought it from John Lewis , despite it being about £100 cheaper from AO, as she wanted the John Lewis van to be parked outside the house. 🙄

This is hilarious. I HAVE been a mystery shopper for Aldi and they paid £2 per assignment.

£2!

My daughter goes to drama school and has been on tv, my son goes to horse riding and I will admit I can be a bit 'hyacinth bucket' about it 😂

In my defence, or not, I was raised in poverty and lived in a very scruffy house which I was routinely picked on about so I take great pleasure in highlighting to those who know me how much better they have it.

I also insist on only ever having the 'finest' steak and care very much what the neighbours think.

An aspiring Mrs Bouqet indeed.

I always think of this whenever I see an episode where some poor shop assistant or waitress gets railroaded by Hyacinth…

I had a Saturday job in BHS once. I was folding the towels when a very snooty woman came over and said “Ah yes, you - I’m looking for some cream towels. How many shades do you have?” Thinking she hadn’t quite decided to go for cream, I said “Well we also do these ones in white, beige, light grey…” Before I could finish she jumped in and said frustratedly, “No, no, NO! How many shades of creeeeaam do you have?” Erm, one, love - Cream. It was BH sodding S!

Also, a neighbour years ago who used to boast about her high-flying graduate daughter. “She’s with Reebok now”, she would proudly tell people, implying an important head office role. She worked in a trainer shop.

I knew a woman (through bookclub) who was a bit like this. She freely admitted that she would buy the exact same item at a more expensive store because she wouldn't been seen dead looking for bargains.

Slightly off topic, but I used to work with someone whose surname was Treblecock, but apparently it was pronounced Tray-bill-co 😉