AIBU to ask for your real life Hyacinth Bucket quotes

[JustAGirlScotland]

Went to a Christmas fair with my mum at the weekend.

She spotted some Norwegian style Christmas napkins that she liked. Passed them to me and asked, "Are these 3 ply? I will not buy napkins that are less than 3 ply".

It really made me laugh and I wondered if others have Hyacinth style quotes from friends/family?

A family member of mine loves to show her house off. It's quite a large Victorian terrace with a lot of original features some they reclaimed. Anyone comes round they get a grand tour of her house. She's gor a few antiuques and is very house proud. Our mum used to call her the lady of the house in a Hyacinths Bucket voice.🤣🤣🤣

Overheard a friend of my MIL telling someone her son is a 'Pharmaceutical Technical Officer' - works on the production line of the local medicines factory.

Years ago had a client called Mrs Onions. She insisted it was pronounced Oh- ny- onns. 😂

My Granny was quite a difficult woman. She thought my mum had married beneath herself and was disgusted when mum had seven kids. We had to endure fortnightly visits to Granny’s which were always tense.

My Gran looked at disgust at myself and my brothers and sisters and announced haughtily “Lionel’s (her golden child son) children could eat a meal in any hotel!” My Dad shot back (unusual for him) “Yeah they could - if they could keep their feet off the table”

As it was the 80s and as we were a large family she knew that none of us had ever had a meal in any hotel or a foreign holiday unlike our cousins.

My former neighbour, sadly now gone, was pretty much a prototype. Even in her 80s she was still referring to her parents as Mummy and Daddy.

Another one - my SIL is of a prat.

years ago she and my brother had a new to them Audi of which they were very proud. We were going on hen night, SIL was driving and my sisters friend trying to make polite conversation with her said “ Lovely car, is it a Volkswagen?” SIL near slammed on the brakes and hissed “Volkswagen!! Did you not see the balls on the front??”

I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

my parents have always referred to the 'ercol table' and 'ercol chair' rather than just table and chair

When my DH and I were first house hunting many decades ago, he was quite adamant he did not want to live in a “second hand” house.

He now lives in a fixer upper. How the mighty have fallen

I am called duchess for a reason..youngest.of large.family no money growing up. I have shopped in charity shops all my.life. As a goth in the 80s I had pretty China cups and saucers. You eat cake in my house it will be aldi cake on pretty China with forks and real.napkins. my dad called me hyacinth even then. I have collected masses of stuff and use it all the time..bacon butty served on silver platter with matching domed cover..we do that. Full on afternoon tea with cake stands and jam.in crystal jar and matching spoon
.cheese in China cheese dishes. Proud to be hyacinth and hosting candlelit suppers regularly.. my husband is actually called Richard as well 😂

@minou123 Thanks for the link to the cheeseboard. My pretentious neighbour boasts separate utensils for different cheeses and looks down on my solitary mouse-shaped knife so having them as an integral part of the board will be a step up and grind her gears.

I was at my in-laws recently and asked if they had any tissues. My MiL said "they are in the powder room"!

Powder room? Wouldn't normal people say they are in the toilet?

I think I may start referring to it as "the bog" from now on, just to annoy her.

My FIL is the same too!

My MIL was very posh. Her last words, as she was dying were “only the most expensive”, said in a very posh voice, bless her!

These days Sheridan would probably be a gluten-free vegan. Probably sitting in the road with some orange paint - he did join the Workers' Revolutionary Vanguard.

A friend's mum was very proper but she had a sister who was not and loved getting a rise out of her. Friend's mum was a member of the Irish Countrywomens' Association and was packing for some event at the HQ of the ICA, at a place called Termonfeckin.

I was downstairs with my friend and her aunt (who was going to be babysitting for the weekend) and the mum was upstairs. The aunt was writing down contact information and kept on getting the word Termonfeckin wrong. On purpose. Until the very proper mum had to shout down the stairs 'FECKIN! Not peckin!' We all collapsed. Friend's mum was mortified.

Can you share more about your rebranding? Is it just you or is it a family thing?

I wouldn't actually say this out loud to anyone I know who got married after kids (note), but yes, it is better to get married first - it's a way of making sure the guy is actually committed, and brings important financial protection for most women.

Used to clean house for a lady years ago who obviously had OCD and l would help her wash down skirting boards etc.twice a week which were already spotless for three hours . But that was what she wanted and would work alongside me until she got to know me and could trust me to maintain her exacting standards. One such day she'd left me to it and whilst working l had needed a wee and used the (spotless)downstairs loo before cleaning it as it was on my list.
A soon as she walked in she sniffed the air in front of me (think Hannibel Lector) and clearly outraged said 'you've used my Harrods soap!' I said yes I had washed my hands from the only soap dispener in there to which she replies she'd have to buy some cheap soap just for me and hide it in the cupboard and l was not to use her Harrods soap again. I left that day so told her no need to buy a 'peasant's soap'.

DH’s brother is very hyacinth like. We live in a small 2 bed house and one year DH mentioned to BIL that we were about to put our Christmas decorations up. BIL scoffed and said “do you have enough room for them at your place?” He then sighed and said, “I just feel so grateful to live in a 5 bedroom house with 2 bathrooms.”

hah! That reminds me of when we were invited to the housewarming for my aunt's new place. She is a bit HB and told us 'XX street in XX town' (very very posh and upmarket town.

Could not for the life of us find it on the satnav. Finally i put in 'XX street in the one -over -not- nearly- so posh town' . Yep. She was in not-posh town next door.

But equally in Hello magazine once a socialite had some sort of article and it said that she lived 'on the Chelsea/Fulham borders'. I.e. Fulham.

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS 👏👏👏

A few in my family. My mum when I went to work at a hospital in Oxford told everyone, "sashh is at Oxford now"

I'm quite old and back in the days of O Levels it wasn't totally unknown to take one or two early. You could also take them in the November as well as the summer.

So I took and passed, my Nana was very excited to tell her sister who claimed it 'couldn't be a proper O Level' because her grand daughter had not taken any.

I have a great aunt who has, when I was a child, strangled me on several occasions looking at the label in the back of my clothes before commenting.

She was more Katy Hopkins than hyacinth in that whenever she talked about who her children were playing with would include, "Who's father is a Dr" or, "Her mother is a solicitor", I swear they were not allowed to play with children who's parents worked in mills or mines.

I have and use on a regular basis cake forks, fish knives and forks, side plates. I like entertaining and a nicely set table makes me happy.

But I'm quite content to eat chips out of a wrapper or a burger in the street.

Invite me round. Please!

There is an influencer who until recently referred to her husband as ‘dr husband’ in every single post. Perhaps someone told her she was being Hyacinth as she’s recently stopped.

Long long ago, a friends mother who my mother thought utterly marvellous (honestly, I don't get it at all, but she was married to a mate of my Dads, us kids were friends, perhaps she just tolerated her because she had to)....

Popped in to see us on the narrow boat we had a half share in, a lovely 55ft trad stern, slept 6 (if they were v friendly), in the process of being done up by us and the other owners. We were all v pleased with the progress and the bits that were done were finished to a lovely standard. I'd done all the roses and castles paintings myself!

She peered around like some judgey bastarding owl and loudly proclaims...

'Ohhhhhh... is this the cheapest model they do?'

Not sure who she thought 'they' were, but this rudeness pierced even my teenage oblivion, I couldn't believe it! Snotty cow.

Since learned that she pushed her husband to near bankruptcy his entire life, spending money they didn't have on shit to show off with. Ugh. She is by all accounts, still a snotty bitch now, unsurprisingly, her children see as little as possible of her now that their Dad has died.