AIBU to ask for your real life Hyacinth Bucket quotes

[JustAGirlScotland]

Went to a Christmas fair with my mum at the weekend.

She spotted some Norwegian style Christmas napkins that she liked. Passed them to me and asked, "Are these 3 ply? I will not buy napkins that are less than 3 ply".

It really made me laugh and I wondered if others have Hyacinth style quotes from friends/family?

Our younger children, then aged 8 & 6 were horrified on their first trip to Burger King that they had to eat with their fingers and said "where are the plates?!" 😳😂

We were at a family wedding shortly after moving house. My OH's aunt asked him if we had a good sized garden. My MIL chipped in with, 'The back garden is large and they have an orchard!'.

....we've got a corner plot on a cul-de-sac with 3 fruit trees in the back garden!

10 years later we still say, 'Just nipping out to the orchard!'

My Granny was rather like Hyacinth. She would answer the phone, not with a Hello or her number, but 'Holly House, the lady of the house speaking'.

Kids playing out at the park. Aged about 5/6. They reported back that "Miss Stratton (fake name) said it's time for her to go home."

Alarmed, the parents asked, "Who is Miss Stratton?" They hadn't seen any adults playing with the kids.

It turns out that one of the 5/6 year olds had introduced herself as 'Miss Stratton' to the other kids, and they called her that, while calling each other Charlie, Alex, etc.

Merc is very common though.

MIL: "Yes, x place is expensive, even for people like us."

My grandma was a keen WI member. Years ago there was a summer fair with lots of homemade goods etc. We were there with Grandma on one of the stalls, I was only 10 or 11 at the time. My aunt was around 22 and turned up with a few of her friends, admittedly they were quite scruffy students at the time. One of the other WI members loudly said "watch your handbags ladies, the riffraff have arrived". My grandma delighted in pointing out the riffraff was actually her daughter and her delightful friends and their handbags would be perfectly safe

Also MIL - every time we'd see her she would ask "Do you take The Times?"
Always gave me the giggles.

When my SIL had alcohol dependency issues my MIL loudly announced "we've never had this in our family but if it's good enough for Princess Margaret we can adapt".

She was all heart, that woman. Dead now.

Cockburn port is usually pronounced Co-burn.

I had a friend who had been to a Poly in Oxford and it was always When I was up at Oxford..........

talking to another mum at the school gates shortly before our year 6 daughters left primary for senior school and she said that she was sending her daughter to private school for secondary so that she can mix with a better class of people, all whilst looking down her nose at me.

also, the bunch of school mums who all lived on the same new- build estate and who that regularly had ‘safari suppers’ that would be enthusiastically bragged about at the school gates. if you didn’t live in a big new build house on the same estate you couldn’t be part of the club. gave us peasants who lived on lesser desirable streets something to laugh about when they started going on about it.

My friend was visiting and she popped into Tescos on the way
She dramatically fell in the door, shoved wine and flowers at me with a cry of 'Fucking Hell! That Tesco in (5 miles away) was like a holding pen for people that go on Jeremy Kyle!'

Work colleague always mentioning their Lexus, not a car but a Lexus. It was old but it was a Lexus.

Having a telephone voice.

My Nana was a very smartly dressed and quietly spoken woman. Her SIL was the opposite. SIL visited Nana one day saying very loudly 'Are you there our Lil?'. Nana said 'Alice, dear, I have neighbours'.

When I was a teenager I worked weekends in What Every Woman Wants - a Scottish discount chain store. They sold excess stock and all sorts of clothes/shoes/household stuff really cheap. Was not a shop to be seen in if one fancied oneself a cut above, and Hyacinths defo did not want to be caught on the street with the big purple carrier bag! Posh ladies would come in, buy their stuff and produce their nice carriers at the till, ready to hide the shameful purple bag. My colleagues and I took great pleasure in insisting the snobby cows carried their goods all the way out of the store in our hideous bags “for security purposes” - seeing them captured by acquaintances through the giant glass frontage never failed to entertain us - big bus stop right outside with throngs of people milling round while they desperately tried to cram their purple bag into a Frasers one before anyone saw them. Priceless.

"Fancy not wearing an under slip?!" Said by a colleague 20 years older than me (50's).

It's not even something my mother would say, or have in her possession.

Some great potential usernames on this thread

ICanTasteTesco
thedirtinyourdyson
RiparianEntertainments

My mum took me to McDonald's when they first appeared in Dublin, asked 'what is the fish?' and was told 'frozen'. Then asked where the knives and forks were. I was about 9 and mortified.

My mam was a wagon for this, my sister & I used to double over listening to her when we lived at home, it was remarkable how it never lasted when it was "just" family or whoever, same when mobile phones became popular, she never did the "Lady of the House speaking" when it was just common old me on the blower

😂😂😂

My Grandma had a friend like this. She was called Mrs. Onions - but swore it was pronounced O' Nee-ons

"40 years ago, my family dog used to get a bowl of Super Tennants for a treat."

-spotted on another thread, thought it belonged here 😆