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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask for your real life Hyacinth Bucket quotes

623 replies

JustAGirlScotland · 21/11/2023 18:16

Went to a Christmas fair with my mum at the weekend.

She spotted some Norwegian style Christmas napkins that she liked. Passed them to me and asked, "Are these 3 ply? I will not buy napkins that are less than 3 ply".

It really made me laugh and I wondered if others have Hyacinth style quotes from friends/family?

OP posts:
TortolaParadise · 21/11/2023 21:30

JustAGirlScotland · 21/11/2023 18:46

But was it an outdoors indoors BBQ with luxury finger buffet?

Edited
Show quote history

riparian delights

Homewardbound2022 · 21/11/2023 21:31

@JustAGirlScotland
Great thread, OP!

LolaSmiles · 21/11/2023 21:33

riparian delights
Wasn't it something about riverside picnic with riparian entertainment?

Or am I getting that mixed up with bringing the outdoors indoors one where she thinks Richard is friends with the local garden centre owner?

SausageAndEggSandwich · 21/11/2023 21:34

My aunt at my uncle's funeral: "no one else was allowed to sit in his Parker Knoll chair"

Just say armchair, Sue. No one cares.

LolaSmiles · 21/11/2023 21:35

I bet your cake slice isn't engraved, is it @LolaSmiles
I'm terribly ashamed to say it isn't.
What would Sheridan say?

Homewardbound2022 · 21/11/2023 21:35

Just remembered another from the gob of my late mother's most hated SIL.

I was visiting her and her lovely long-suffering husband as I was searching to buy a house in the general area. When she asked me had I seen anything, I said yes, on X road.

Her reply: oh that's way out of your league.

TortolaParadise · 21/11/2023 21:37

LolaSmiles · 21/11/2023 21:33

riparian delights
Wasn't it something about riverside picnic with riparian entertainment?

Or am I getting that mixed up with bringing the outdoors indoors one where she thinks Richard is friends with the local garden centre owner?

riparian entertainment! that sounds right.

minou123 · 21/11/2023 21:44

LolaSmiles · 21/11/2023 21:33

riparian delights
Wasn't it something about riverside picnic with riparian entertainment?

Or am I getting that mixed up with bringing the outdoors indoors one where she thinks Richard is friends with the local garden centre owner?

I've just looked it up.
It's Waterside supper with riparian entertainment 😁

  • Hyacinth : Riparian!
  • Richard : What! What, what!
  • Hyacinth : Riparian! That's the word I've been looking for, and I've found it in Sheridan's dictionary.
  • Richard : Oh God, I thought we had burglars.
  • Hyacinth : It means 'of the river bank'.
  • Richard : Oh, fascinating. Well, what do you want with a word like 'riparian', especially at this time of night?
  • Hyacinth : Because I have to issue invitations... to my waterside supper with riparian entertainments.
  • Richard : Oh, you, you mean a riverside picnic.
  • Hyacinth : No! I do not mean riverside picnic, Richard. I mean waterside supper with riparian entertainments.
TheTecknician · 21/11/2023 21:45

I'm sure I've mentioned this before. A pretentious woman my sister once had dealings with was quite insistent her surname was pronounced 'See-der butt-ome' rather than plain old 'Sidebottom'.

Shufflebumnessie · 21/11/2023 21:46

A colleague used to tell everyone she lived on the Eton Borders. No, you live in Slough!!

TortolaParadise · 21/11/2023 21:52

minou123 · 21/11/2023 21:44

I've just looked it up.
It's Waterside supper with riparian entertainment 😁

  • Hyacinth : Riparian!
  • Richard : What! What, what!
  • Hyacinth : Riparian! That's the word I've been looking for, and I've found it in Sheridan's dictionary.
  • Richard : Oh God, I thought we had burglars.
  • Hyacinth : It means 'of the river bank'.
  • Richard : Oh, fascinating. Well, what do you want with a word like 'riparian', especially at this time of night?
  • Hyacinth : Because I have to issue invitations... to my waterside supper with riparian entertainments.
  • Richard : Oh, you, you mean a riverside picnic.
  • Hyacinth : No! I do not mean riverside picnic, Richard. I mean waterside supper with riparian entertainments.
Show quote history

Lol, now Onslow would simply say give me a beer and crisps!

Mothership4two · 21/11/2023 21:53

VaddaABeetch · 21/11/2023 21:29

@Mothership4two a gee is a very different thing in Ireland!

I almost daren't ask but what is it?

dooooom · 21/11/2023 21:55

Perthsmurf · 21/11/2023 21:20

My friend wasn’t allowed to watch anything on ITV as a child because her mum thought it was common. Channel 4 was definitely not allowed either. It was BBC or nothing.

great thread, thank you OP

I had this growing up! Excluded from so many cultural reference points!

Crochetablanket · 21/11/2023 21:56

Remembered a couple of others-

‘So looking forward to ( her son) studying at Oxford in September’ ( he went to Oxford Brooke’s Uni - but she never once corrected anyone who assumed that meant Oxford University. )

My mum - about a gig I wanted to go to aged 16 ‘you are NOT going it’s a den of iniquity’ 😅

ghostyslovesheets · 21/11/2023 21:58

When I was about 13/14 my mum had a lovely boyfriend who lived in Yorkshire - his mum was very very 'proper' and a bit aghast that her boy had hooked up with this older woman from Liverpool with a stroppy pre-teen (although she his it well - always very polite and kind to me) - I remember being in the car with them and everytime we went round a corner (windy little country roads) she's shout 'toot round the bend (sons name) TOOT round the bends!!' (in a full on Hyacinth voice) even now at 53 if I'm driving down country roads I say it to myself!

Slightly sadder was my nan who had OCD - we once turned up at her house with my mum, having cycled for an hour, she complimented me and my sister on our outfits, before my mum could stop me we said ' thanks, they're from the jumble sale' - she lost her shit - accused my mum of bringing germs into her home and chased us away with a bottle of bleach in her hand!

CaramelMac · 21/11/2023 21:59

As a teenager begging my mum for an Adidas jacket like all the cool kids at school had and her response was “oh no, they’re dreadfully common” 🤣

In the run up to my wedding all she talked about was her dress and hat and which shop she had bought them from and what the sales girl had said to her 🙄

I think my mum saw Keeping Up Appearances as a training manual rather than a comedy.

TheaBrandt · 21/11/2023 22:02

My friends live in a street where the large Edwardian houses turn into boxier 1930s semis. The posh end have street parties and events and only invite the people that live in the older larger houses. Cracks us all up as one friend is in the gang but the other isnt. Her DH walks mournfully past the gatherings like a beggar at the feast just for a laugh!

CaramelMac · 21/11/2023 22:03

Perthsmurf · 21/11/2023 21:20

My friend wasn’t allowed to watch anything on ITV as a child because her mum thought it was common. Channel 4 was definitely not allowed either. It was BBC or nothing.

great thread, thank you OP

Me too! Once at secondary school our homework was to watch an advert and write something down about it and I had to say in front of the whole class “I’m not allowed to watch ITV miss” I never lived it down 🤦‍♀️

MrsToothyBitch · 21/11/2023 22:07

I turn in to Hyacinth when DP is driving. I've warned him to watch out for a huge, unmissable red bus and to mind our friend who was stood next to his car- we were trying to park alongside him but with a pretty decent gap between cars and DP knew he was there.

A family friend also married a very competitive woman. She always had to be right/best. Upon being shown my aunt's beautiful new and very well built conservatory, she declared "oh! A lean-to". Bitch.

VaddaABeetch · 21/11/2023 22:07

@Mothership4two vagina. As in ‘I will in my Gee.’ Geebag is an insult.

ConsumedByCake · 21/11/2023 22:08

Work colleague: "I've never lived in a house that just had a number. Mine have always had names"

Forgoodnesssakejustletme · 21/11/2023 22:13

@TheTecknician I was just about to mention an old work friend who's husband's boss was called Mr Sid-e-bot-arm. 😂
My dm found a lost necklace in her "opera bag." I don't recall her ever having been to an opera bless her.

Mothership4two · 21/11/2023 22:17

@VaddaABeetch

😂

Mind you he pronounced the G as in goat not the G as in giant. But he was being a bit of a gee!

Wolvesart · 21/11/2023 22:30

This is a combo of Suits You and Hyacinth but worth recalling. When I got married, the wedding dress fitting also included a lingerie consultation. There were 2 assistants, one said to the other ‘Modem is very petite’. Never been called petite before or since as I’m 5ft 9. I was very slim in those days

Nannydoodles · 21/11/2023 22:34

A colleague was boasting to another colleague whose husband appears very successful in banking that “ of course my husband is very involved in the international markets” 2nd colleague replied “oh I didn’t realise that your husband works in finance too” after which she kept quiet.
He does indeed work in the market - selling fruit and veg!! 🤣🤣

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