AIBU to ask for your real life Hyacinth Bucket quotes

[JustAGirlScotland]

Went to a Christmas fair with my mum at the weekend.

She spotted some Norwegian style Christmas napkins that she liked. Passed them to me and asked, "Are these 3 ply? I will not buy napkins that are less than 3 ply".

It really made me laugh and I wondered if others have Hyacinth style quotes from friends/family?

My mother always answered the phone with the number in the 80s, although she hasn't for a very long time. It was just the thing at the time in case someone had misdialled, I think. I don't think I'd have caught it if I were a wrong caller, but it was just the thinking at the time.

it's hard to explain. It's just a combination that rolls off the tongue nicely. I guess it's not particular to cricket, it's just that we like cricket!

Yes ours did that, I think it was to do with updates at the local exchanges and bringing rural backwaters like ours into line with other areas. Ours started off as <exchange name> 384, then became 70384, then 470384. (Around the time of the last change my brother was heard to answer the phone '70384-with-a-4-on-the-front')

Back in those days (gosh I sound ancient), you could identify whereabouts, even within an area code, someone was from their phone number. So within one area code one village exchange might have numbers starting 850, and the next village over be 851.

This also meant you could work it out in reverse. A while ago I was trying to get in touch with a farm where we'd stayed a lot as children. I can remember the phone being answered 'princetown 268' and from there managed to work out what the phone number of the farmhouse would be. (It wasn't Princeton, but similarly remote). I'm pretty sure it only worked because BT were the only provider then so there was a uniformity to the way phone numbers worked.

I'm sorry but I think all the posters going "OMG one time I actually bought a foodstuff that wasn't ASDA oven chips, what a posh twat am I, riiiight?" or "my child massively embarrassed me by acknowledging in public that they enjoyed something other than Dino Nuggets and baked beans, how super cringe!!!" are being a million times more snobbish and show-offy than any of the Hyacinths mentioned.

I genuinely don't understand all the "OMG my child once ate HUMMUS once omg cringe cringe, how have I, the most salt of the earth person ever, raised Little Lord Fauntleroy" - no one alive thinks of hummus as remotely middle class, and why are you falling over yourself pretending to be Edna Sharples mixed with Yosser Hughes? Who are you trying to impress here?

Yep. Coasters here too! I look after my furniture, new and second hand! I don’t want ring marks on it! Why would you?

My SO is like this. Coasters everywhere.
I didn´t grow up with coasters and I honestly dislike them (coasters and placemats.). It´s either bare tables or a tablecloth imo. He however insists on using them everywhere!

His next project is making our own dining table (lovely, I am sure it will be gorgeous) and I just know that he will be completely obsessed about both of us using coasters (or placemats)...

I cooked lunch for a group of neighbours not long before we moved house, lovely legs of lamb. They said they loved the meat, which butcher did I use? "Lidl".
Shocked silence, I'd swear one of them didn't eat another bite.

You're not bothered about rings on bare tables?

I remember those days - our house phone many (hem hem) years ago was 3 digits (in a suburban area) and by the time we left it was I think 8 digits, with extra numbers added on the front. No answer phones of course, and it was routine to answer the phone with a recitation of the number ('1234567 here - hullo'). Plus phone calls were short, because they were expensive. And someone else might be trying to ring through (some hope ...)

W G ? 🤔

I do not have any quotes but your mum made my day!

Onions to,Oh-NYE-ons? 😀

After my Granny died, my Auntie went on to a TV Show - possibly Bargain Hunt - with some of my Granny's antique silver. We were watching, and the presenter said "And here we have Monica and her marrow spoon", which really made me chuckle!!!

My lovely cousin married into a family who were awful snobs, the MIL was very HB. I don't know why, none of them were particularly monied nor had professions. The issue they had with her and some of our family, was the fact we lived in wait for it, Council Houses.

It always made me laugh because ours was a Police House and my dad was the local community bobby. My cousins house was also a Council house. But it was a semi detached one in the middle of nowhere with only the attached neighbour. They had large gardens and beautiful views in the Lake District. We used to have our holidays there, along with other family members and had a large family. They were the happiest of times.
They meanwhile are still sad, miserable snobs with joyless lives.

Not a quote,but one of my fellow cleaners acts very posh,and she isn't at all.
She only shops in Mand S but likes us to get her the Aldi brochure.If she sees anything she likes she asks one of us to go and get it as she won't go into the shop herself!
Quite funny!

Overheard in a train - a definitely ’Waitrose’ lady - ‘I tried Lidl yesterday. It was very CLEAN…"

You are on the right lines but more like Leonard usually pronounced Lennard to Léonard (lee-on-arr)

There was a very HB woman who lived in my road. She announced loudly in the local pub that she lived in one of very few detached houses in the road.

I am Hyancinth - especially when it comes to china cups and cake forks 🤣 no fucks to give here

Various relatives:

'Will my car be ok parked outside your house?'

'Luckily none of your jumpers are cashmere, the moths destroy mine every year.'

'I suppose you don't really have the occasions to bring out your grandmother's India tree china.'

'No not those biscuits, the proper ones.'

'I have so many lovely tea towels but it's only really the Irish linen ones that do the job properly.'

We were very poor as kids, and Mum used to buy clothes from jumble sales and re-make them for us. When we started school, a woman who became her friend thought we were well off, because we were always beautifully dressed.

I did once catch myself complaining to my sister in a supermarket, while we were shopping for a dinner party: “I can’t believe they don’t have any physalis!” (Yes, it was Waitrose, and no, they didn’t!) Immediately realised what a massive twat I sounded and shut up!

In my early twenties I was working in a shoe shop that sold some "qiaite naice' brands of shoes. The owner never wanted to offer a refund and often we would have faulty shoes repaired for the customer at the local cobblers. I was sent to pick up some shoes and after 10 minutes of rifling through the items to be picked up he said, "Sorry, luv, I can't find them." And I said, "But they are Marco Moraos!" He said, "I don't care whose they are, luv. I still can't find them!"

My mother in laws "Gordon Blue" cooking! Apparently she had had some training!

Was once staying with friends- quite posh, mum terrific cook. She asked her teenage daughter to “ Come and julienne the carrots for mummy, darling “. Lovely woman, but possibly the most middle class thing I’ve ever heard