AIBU to ask for your real life Hyacinth Bucket quotes

[JustAGirlScotland]

Went to a Christmas fair with my mum at the weekend.

She spotted some Norwegian style Christmas napkins that she liked. Passed them to me and asked, "Are these 3 ply? I will not buy napkins that are less than 3 ply".

It really made me laugh and I wondered if others have Hyacinth style quotes from friends/family?

Love that you still say it after all these years.

I quite like it, might start saying it myself

I don’t even know what that means - which probably means I’m doing it all the time!🤦‍♀️🙈

I'd have loved to have seen the policemen's faces!!

I used to work in a shop and an order came in for a customer, I looked up their name and it was Mrs Burger ....but pronounced Ber-jer !

Pardon is akin to serviette, and a big no-no.

I suppose that's partly the point; the in-joke about the character Hyacinth that she doesn't understand the middle class 'rules' adequately, as that's not the background she's from (as she tries to conceal). So she comes across as quite faux.

My mother was shamefully Hyacinth, so much so that the show was banned in our house. 'Turn that off at once', it was on the many things she didn't approve of but only cos we used to piss ourselves laughing because it was so like her and her other upwardly mobile friends.

Table manners and cutlery were very important, she wasn't wrong to have standards but there was no rule breaking days. Pizza had to be eaten with a fork, fast food like McDonalds or whatever was to be plated up and eaten with knife and fork.

The worst for me were the dreaded parties, where I would have to be waiter and listen to the BS they talked. We had only 1 bathroom upstairs and a large gallery style stairs / landing, so at the top of the stairs you have to walk past all the bedrooms to get to the bathroom, like 3 sides of a rectangle if that makes sense. A normal person would just close doors but no, all doors had to be opened fully so the guests could experience the house and admire the decor. This meant of course a massive clear out of our rooms to prepare for the parties including freshly ironed bedlinen etc, all personal items cleared away. We also were not allowed posters or other personal stuff on our bedroom walls because they might be seen at the parties. We used to blue tack stuff to the back of our doors out of sight of the 'admiring' guests. its kind of funny but actually makes me angry now too.

I worked in a newsagents as a teenager some decades ago. A lady came to pay her paper bill and gave the address. I read out her name to confirm I had the right person - Mrs Sidebottom. She nearly turned purple as she exlaimed :No, it's sid eee bot ooooowm. The lady serving with me nearly choked trying not to laugh.

I think my mother is abit Hyacinth about coasters… I’m not being funny but most of my furniture is charity shop or ikea and you can see her twitch when I put a cup of tea straight down on the table. In her house she runs round like mad after peoples drinks with one of her 8 million coasters.

My dad had a great anti-hyacinth moment. He was at a wedding and there was a woman there who he had been to school with - in a very deprived area of south Wales. She didn’t remember him, but he recognised her. She had developed a very false, very over the top American accent. She was mingling round the room and pointedly asking guests, “and what do you do?”

Dad replied “well… it’s a bit hush hush… I shouldn’t say really…”

”oh go on! You can tell me” she says - clearly v v interested

“I work with the government” Dad continues - deadpan. Her eyes widen. “I’m an aero engineer - top secret stuff”

”Oh with NASA or something!?” She asks

”No. I put the bubbles in the chocolate”

Apparently my grandfathers neighbour laughed so hard, his pint came out of his nose and he had to have a sit down! And she stalked off in a huff to pester some other poor bugger!

When the one in Cork opened a few years later my Dad called a member of staff over and asked for the wine list.

Surely that's only when you are using a knife too?

Cake and pastry forks often have a thicker tine to cut the pastry.

Snail / oyster forks are also used in the right hand.

Also spaghetti. It is fine to use a fork in your right hand with or without a spoon.

I knew someone in the Armed Forces with the surname Dible. Thinking I was being amusing (and highly original 🙄) I had a laugh about him being Officer Dibble (Top Cat reference) and was shushed. Apparently he was very sensitive about it, could get a bit snotty and would angrily say "it's not dibble it's die-bull". That's what he became known as behind his back It's Not Dibble It's DIE-bull.

That was how you answered the telephone in ‘the old days’ you always said ‘hello, Fulham (eg) 3467. That way you knew if you had dialled the right number etc.

@NImumconfused still makes me giggle now. Landlord came round couple of days later and mentioned it. Half a dozen burly police stomping round the place and me asking if anyone would like a cup as plenty in the pot . Feel i should have offered royal doulton with the blue periwinkle pattern 😆

@SomethingBlues l am your mother in this scenario. I cannot bear ring marks on furniture and like to look after it. Much of my furniture is second hand but good quality and l want to protect it and keep it looking nice.

Actually I am clearing my mum's house atm and have three of these very delicate flowery teasets. They are lovely but I'm afraid if I take a set, there will be breakages. Do charity shops take them? I can't believe I'm scared of using dainty china cups, I even feel like Elizabeth the next door neighbour when I handle them.

I volunteered in a charity shop a few years ago and we took them, so do check. It might be nice to have one set, so what if a few break. No point in having something hide in a cupboard forever.

we didn't do it on purpose, we just wanted to include two family names when we named our son. Then my DH smiled to himself and said 'great initials for when he plays cricket for England though'....he's more a spectator then a player, but DH is just happy to have someone who will willingly go to Trent Bridge with him.

My mum went with my brother and his family to see Santa one year and telling me about it she said "and his gloves were dirty, the cheeky devil"!

Pffft!

As if we all don't know that our dear Late Queen used to soak the Crown Jewels in Silver Dip before a great state occasion . . .

<fails to find crown emoji>

Enrolling at my very backwoods local secondary school in the rural US, my mum asked the headteacher if any students had gone on to Oxford or Cambridge. I wanted to sink into the floor...

Er, me. Several years ago, I went to retrieve DD from nursery. The carer said "ooh, I like your necklace, where did it come from?" "Iceland" I replied. Carer said "I didn't know they sold jewellery?"

Pause....

Me: "oh, no, the country."

Twat.

I don’t get this, I mean I understand that people want to avoid initials that make an unfortunate acronym like BUM or ARS, but what is it about a combination of initials that makes it look particularly good for cricket?

Are you and your Mum American? If so, that makes the question even weirder that she didn’t say Harvard or Yale?

My mum's English, which added to the Hyacinth Bucketness of it.

Yup. I was taught to answer the phone like that, grew up in the 70s and 80s. Our phone number kept getting longer too, presumably as the population of the town grew. It started off as 5048, then 75048 then 475048, my brother and I still remember being instructed to add the extra digits (we were easily amused ha ha).