AIBU to ask for your real life Hyacinth Bucket quotes

[JustAGirlScotland]

Went to a Christmas fair with my mum at the weekend.

She spotted some Norwegian style Christmas napkins that she liked. Passed them to me and asked, "Are these 3 ply? I will not buy napkins that are less than 3 ply".

It really made me laugh and I wondered if others have Hyacinth style quotes from friends/family?

I genuinely thought everyone had summer and winter curtains, and got quite a wake up call when I mentioned this in a team meeting and people were most confused

I once taught with a Mr Daft, his view was it's my name and they'll take the piss but I just have to live with it!
When I started at the grammar school back in the day when boys were called by their surname one teacher asked a boy his name, Batty sir. I asked who are you not what are you! That would be a whole thread on MN these days I suppose.

Late DF was great at taking the piss out of would-bes like Hyacinth. He was once at a reception (1960s) where caviar was being served as part of the food, and was talking to a woman who was gushing about how much she like caviar and did he and DM eat caviar often? DF responded 'only when the children leave some at teatime.'

I often think my DM is a mixture of Hyacinth and Monica from Friends. She’s the sort to dash around with coasters whenever she has ‘company’ in case any glasses get close to her premium wooden artisanal side-tables.

One Hyacinth-esque moment was when she was visiting me and we were taking my DC to the supermarket to pick up some things for a picnic. I suggested Tesco (our closest and biggest one).

DM: Oh, I can’t possibly go to Tesco dear.
Me: (Knowing full well why) Why?
DM: Because it’s, well, you know. Everything is better quality at Waitrose, we’ll go there.
Me: Tesco’s is on the way, mum, there’s nothing wrong with it. I shop there all the time.
DM: Waitrose is on the way too, we’re going there.

Didn’t bother to point out that Waitrose was the complete opposite direction. She then complained at the poor Information counter woman that they didn’t have wooden cutlery as part of their free cutlery for picnics, just plastic. My kids also got mixed bean and lentil salad bowls as a ‘treat’.

We were taught this as children. It was considered to be the polite way to answer the phone. E.g. "Village name 2484" was standard in the 1960s/70s.

If that was anytime after the 1960s, it was in fact a Volkswagen, because that's when Volkswagen acquired Audi, so she would have been correct 😉

My SILs friend took her & her kids to Butlins. My SIL walked in to the Skyline Pavilion and exclaimed "so this is where people from council houses go on holiday!"

Leftinlimbo yes we as kids were taught to answer the phone like this too. My mum was a bit of a Hyacinth as she thought just saying Hello sounded a bit abrupt

My friend was burgled and her husband said "You don't live in a house like ours without having stuff worth stealing" 😳

I knew someone with 'an apartment near St Moritz' apparently it was to St Moritz what Ryan air airports are to their destinations, ie miles away and it was also even smaller that Hyacinth's place in the country, a glorified cupboard was one person's defination.

Colleague at the office broke her leg badly and was in a cast from thigh to ankle. She said that she was going to ask her teenage son to paint her toenails for her. The office Princess overheard and said "God no. He might flood your cuticles".

Mr Daft 😂

I gave the perfect gift for your MIL if you want to rock her world. Nancy Mitford ( genuine aristo) compiled a list of U and non U terms. According to her “what?” is posher; “pardon?” is franglais and gauche.
That’s hilarious about Madame Honore!

Sorry :”I know “ the perfect gift. Typing in bed unable to sit

😂😂😂

My life is fuller for having heard of her, and emptier for never having met her!

She sounds GREAT!

Probably thought they were mythical, like dragons and Prince Harry's kids*.

(*allegedly)

My MIL is Hyacinth. One of her habits that makes me laugh the most is correcting me when, if I've not heard someone, I say "What?". You should always say "Pardon?", apparently. Even "Sorry?" isn't posh enough for her.

In my experience @shockthemonkey , it's the other way round. I've known people from all classes, and the upper classes are very much "What"-ers.

(Though in fairness I've never met royalty.)

Well yes precisely. "Pardon" is trying too hard and therefore non-U. A bit like saying serviette instead of napkin. It achieves the reverse effect

Ah yes, but did it have riparian entertainment?
(Sorry if it’s already been asked, haven’t RTWT, but couldn’t resist).

As a teenage waitress, in my first job at a not in any way posh country pub, I was left completely baffled by a man who spluttered, “but how can I possibly eat this without a fish knife?!” when I informed him we didn’t keep said utensil. He had ordered the battered fish and chips with mushy peas.

In a local Indian restaurant, and after the meal I said how good the hot cloths were for polishing jewellery to a nice sparkle. And my Sister in Law said "Yes, but I'd need to see what they are like on proper jewellery". 🙈

I was moving house and MIL let the Health Visitor in. MIL offered to make coffee. She apologised to the HV for coffee in the ugly Denby mugs.
'She (aka me) can't help her upbringing!'

Aaw, loving "TOOT round the bends!"

What does it mean? Toot the horn?

@ohwellhi yes toot your horn so on coming cars know you're round the bend - actually not bad advice but it was her very posh tone that made me smile - it's always her voice I hear when I think it/do it!

😳!