AIBU to ask for your real life Hyacinth Bucket quotes

[JustAGirlScotland]

Went to a Christmas fair with my mum at the weekend.

She spotted some Norwegian style Christmas napkins that she liked. Passed them to me and asked, "Are these 3 ply? I will not buy napkins that are less than 3 ply".

It really made me laugh and I wondered if others have Hyacinth style quotes from friends/family?

Can't see what's wrong with Sidebottom. Good northern name.

Or Banger! I'd love to be called Ms Banger!

My niece, as a teen, who was aghast at being asked to meet her mother by bus "do you KNOW the sort of people who get on buses?"

My DB’s ex-wife’s family lived in East Molesey which is very close to Hampton Court Palace. My DB organised the printing of their wedding invitations with an RSVP address of “5, Any Street, East Molesey, Surrey etc”. When she saw the finished invitations his fiancée threw a fit (proper snotty nosed, wailing tantrum) and demanded everything be printed again saying “5, Any Street, HAMPTON COURT, Surrey etc”. Her parents standing meekly by saying nervously “but we do actually live in Molesey dear”.

The invitations all got printed again (and paid for again) and my DB, his fiancée and her family spent the remaining months between the invitations going out and the wedding having people tell them the address was wrong on the invitations. Waste of ink and paper because the marriage only lasted two unhappy years before she left him for “a more dynamic man with a detached house in Surbiton”.

My lovely mum was always careful to make sure people knew we lived on the council estate on the nice side of our small country town. She was very dismissive of the estate on the other side and declared that she could never live there.

Many years ago my friend informed me - with a tinkly laugh - that her children were such snobs they wouldn't eat eclairs only profiteroles. (This was before they were so mainstream). Unfortunately she pronounced it profeeetrolls which certainly negated any class points.

Remembered another one. Years ago at a work do, standing around making small talk with a lovely colleague of mine who was pretty senior and the boss and his wife. My boss asked my colleague where he was from originally and he replied ‘Burnley’ and including the boss’s wife in the conversation he asked her ‘do you know it?’. She answered ‘not really, I prefer Paris’.

“They had a workman in to do some job or other and she gave him a cup of tea. While he was drinking it the husband of the family came home and saw him. He didn't say anything then, but when the man had gone he deliberately took the cup out of the dishwasher and smashed it "in case any of the family drank out of it".
Most of these are funny but this is AWFUL

Why quinoa isn’t pronounced kwin-noah. It always sounds very Hyacinth to pronounce it keen-wah (even if it is supposedly the ‘proper’ way)

I think my mother used to order the Daily Telegraph to impress the newsagent!
I never saw her ever open it although she used to read her Daily Mail from cover to cover. The DT was always left lying around for guests to see too.

There's a particularly posh pronunciation of 'theatre' that always gets me too. I just say 'thaiter' (maybe because I'm from Northern Ireland and we have a very hard 'r') but I've noticed so many people elongate the first syllable and so it sounds like 'theeeahhhtaaah'. It's the mark of a posh person really.

I’ve sometimes been called Hyacinth since we went on a working men’s club trip to Blackpool. I’d not long started dating my now husband and we went with his mum and dad and extended family. We were trying to find a cafe for lunch and I rejected at least 5 saying they looked grubby. My father in law said are you Hyacinth Bucket and it stuck. In my defence they were proper greasy spoon places that I wouldn’t be seen dead in. To be fair to my FIL it was never said with malice and I do like to have certain standards lol. He liked to portray himself as a total working class guy but when he died we were gobsmacked at how much he left us in his will so if anyone could have been posh it was him

One for Brightonians here.

My friend, who lives in East Whitehawk, tells people she lives in West Roedean.

My ex-friend had a coffee machine (wayyyy before anyone else, of course) and always referred to it as "my £500 coffee machine".

She also always took her sweet time answering the door to me - up to 5mins) so I once just left and went home.

EF Where are you?
ME At home
EF Why?
ME I waited, but you didn't answer the door.
EF FFS! I was BUSY!!

@AInightingale my mother used to don a headscarf and a pair of Jackie O sunglasses to scuttle furtively to the local pub to buy bottles of stout for Christmas baking. She always brought a big wicker shopping basket to hide the bottles in, and a scarf to cover them in case anyone would look inside.

Cockburn's port is pronounced co-burn. Only know that from their adverts from decades ago. This one is about their odd pronounciation:

s

My granny- the original Hyacinth- told assorted relatives at a wedding that my auntie had been headhunted by the prime minister. In reality she'd got a job in the civil service. When we mocked her for this granny said "well the prime minister is the head of the civil service!" Like we were the mad fantasists.

Just remembered a friend whose parents have a flat in in the alps. We hear about it every time we see them. It the new room for a pony.

Tbh, she speaks about money every time we see them- exactly figures of the inheritance her kids are getting from her parents etc.

Uprichard made me laugh @AInightingale
I have an auntie who acts like Hyacinth. I once overheard her say in hushed tones don't get the forks out for the cake, they won't understand. I did have to laugh at that one. She moved to a posh place when I was little and her accent changed overnight.

Me too, even in my head i pronounced it with a ridiculously rrrrolled Rrrr

phone answering with numbers
party lines

My Hyacinth moment was in a soft play cafe - I asked “what’s the soup of the day?” (It was written on the menu like that!) and the woman rolled her eyes, plonked two tins on the counter and said “oxtail or mixed veg, take your pick”

“Pate, in Leytonstone?” has given me the megalolz

Siddybottome? And definitely not Sidebottom...

I had a neighbour in my childhood who would always answer the phone with the telephone number, she would just pick up the phone and say the number the caller had just dialled! I never quite understood why.

That used to be the way everyone answered the phone, I still don't give my name, just say Hello unless I can see who it is.

On her first sighting of an Aldi, and being told it was a discount supermarket for poor people:

A German exchange student said they were taught that fish and chips was what poor families ate in England. To be fair it was a long time ago, definitely not the case today!

Haha I'm a Geordie and have always said it thee-atre.

SImilar with my granddaughter about 4, I knew she ate salmon but I asked her if she liked smoked salmon, No, but I do like lobster, to which her grandfather replied Yes but only at your Daddy's house!

To be fair I think if I was called Mrs Banger I would insist on 'Bon-jay' just for fun.