AIBU to ask for your real life Hyacinth Bucket quotes

[JustAGirlScotland]

Went to a Christmas fair with my mum at the weekend.

She spotted some Norwegian style Christmas napkins that she liked. Passed them to me and asked, "Are these 3 ply? I will not buy napkins that are less than 3 ply".

It really made me laugh and I wondered if others have Hyacinth style quotes from friends/family?

Ex neighbour, Ive just parked the SAAB in the double garage.

Went out for lunch with my friend and her young children. When the waiter asked for drink orders, I ordered a diet coke - one of the kids asked for San Pellegrino (aka Tory Tango) and pouted when the waiter said they didn't sell it.

SafariSupper
LeytonstonePate

Some of these are bonkers 😂 there’s nothing posh about brioche or carrots and houmous.

Could not for the life of us find it on the satnav. Finally i put in 'XX street in the one -over -not- nearly- so posh town' . Yep. She was in not-posh town next door.

But equally in Hello magazine once a socialite had some sort of article and it said that she lived 'on the Chelsea/Fulham borders'. I.e. Fulham.

It was the end of some people's world when local government reorganisation moved Worsley, a very naice area, into Salford! Over 50 years on they still hate it according to Estate Agents.
I'm not innocent, when using an automatic address completion I always delete the official postal town, nameless for the sake of not upsetting anyone!

Oh God I LOVE Hyacinth, PR was just brilliant. Makes me laugh every time even though I have seen them a zillion times.

Love this thread😂

Oooooh… I just remembered that my grandmother’s next door neighbour was Mrs Sidebottom. Woe betide anyone who called her that though… She only answered to “Mrs SiddybaTOMME”. That woman could shrivel crab apples with her glare.

Before she retired, she worked in a bank for many years. One day the bank was robbed and Mum’s friend had a gun pointed at her. Instead of just handing over the money, she told the gunman off for using bad language while her manager was shouting ‘just hand it over!’.

DP's friend's wife came for a meal with us and some other friends in a country pub, and upon being asked if she would prefer chips or new potatoes with her chicken and ham pie, wrinkled her nose and said "Hmm. What are your chips LIKE? I can't tolerate chips unless they're hand-cut."

When I was a child, one of our neighbours declined an invitation for her six-year-old son to attend a football party at the local football club for another little boy's birthday because she "couldn't bear it if he wanted to play football; we're considering tennis for him, but if he shows a liking for team sports we'll be steering him very much towards rugby".

A former colleague, before agreeing to put an offer in on a house on a country lane, spent hours researching online to see if it would be possible to somehow de-register the house number with Royal Mail and replace it 'officially' with a just a name.

My aunt's mother once reacted furiously at seeing my aunt (who was at least 40 at the time) wearing nail polish on her toes because "Only gypsies and street women paint their toenails".

I've got toothache and feeling sorry for myself and you made me laugh. Thank you for that.

“I’m in the garden drinking Chablis”

Brandy is ok.

It's medicinal. For emergencies.

You mustn’t ever eat with the fork in your right hand!!

I can’t believe my son’s girlfriend dared to bring a bottle of lemonade to a family dinner

wonderful funny thread start OP - thankyou. Somewhat less fraught than lot of stuff in AIBU as well :)

HA, this reminds me of a colleague who was Mrs Whitehead, but insisted it was Mrs Whiteheeeeeeeed, dahling!

My aunt's mother once reacted furiously at seeing my aunt (who was at least 40 at the time) wearing nail polish on her toes because "Only gypsies and street women paint their toenails".

I'm nearly 40 and my mum tuts at every new ear piercing I get - did you know they are only for gypsies or pirates?

This reminded me of friends of my grandparents, well before Hyacinth was around.
Mr & Mrs Sidebottom, pronounced Sid-ee-botham.

curiously the rewrite sounds more suggestive/bordering on filthy - maybe depends how you say it.

Well, if :Cholmonderley" can be "Chumley", and "Featherstonehaugh", "Fanshaw", and "Pelham", "Plum" - why not?

(FWIW, I know a Siddy-bothe-haam, too)

must have rubbed off on me because I have cake forks, a cake slice (admittedly not engraved) but I do have silver sugar (cube) tongs

I was sorting through all the stuff that OH had brought from his late mother's house years ago and found lovely sugar tongs as well as fish knives and server, but no cake forks though I do have 2 cake/pie slices. I recall taking cake into work for some reason and my department being highly amused that I also took plates, paper napkins and forks.

I was very much the opposite of the football one... My DH thinks I'm ridiculous but I don't want any of our kids playing Rugby. Same way I don't want them to take up Boxing either.

Reason being that I was in hospital a lot as a child and there where ALWAYS kids in with horrible injuries from playing rugby, you could tell when a match had just happened because they place would be overflowing... lots of smashed noses and broken ankles etc...

I used to work with a Mrs Bastard who loved referring to her children as "the little Bastards" and would laugh at reactions. She always emphasised her husband was a direct descendant of some King or other.

Even though I have never met her, I LOVE her.

Woman after my own heart.

Ex Partner's Mother was very Hyacinth. His Father (lovely) was nominated for an award for services as a Civil Servant. She had a lot of very expensive stationery printed up as Lady middle name hyphenated with surname to double barrel it. He didnt receive the award she expected & she didnt become Lady Y-Z.
Amusingly, she hated me as, amongst other things I had a double barrelled name (mostly as my Mother couldn't decide which man was actually my Father...)

Tell her you are channelling your inner pirate gypsy.