AIBU to ask for your real life Hyacinth Bucket quotes

[JustAGirlScotland]

Went to a Christmas fair with my mum at the weekend.

She spotted some Norwegian style Christmas napkins that she liked. Passed them to me and asked, "Are these 3 ply? I will not buy napkins that are less than 3 ply".

It really made me laugh and I wondered if others have Hyacinth style quotes from friends/family?

that makes me think of Alan B'Stard, wonderfully played by Rik Mayall :)

My nana always made me laugh... she was VERY strict on looks.

No one ever saw her without teeth (not even her husband). She had stilleto bright piller box red nails, always blushed her cheeks and wore red lip stick. kitten heels where a must, pleated skirt or trousers and frilled blouse with a broach and her hair done weekly by the hair dresser. Ironically she would have been quite the 'hussy' in her day with the heels, nails, make up, sneaking out to dance halls and knocked up out of wedlock to a vanishing soldier but she was always pristinely put together.

She was aghast at my cousin who was a skater. A boy... with LONG HAIR what will the neighbors think... and why do kid all have holes in their trousers? (ripped jeans). Like nana is 2005 not 1940 anymore lol.

I love the thought of rebranding. What exactly did you do? I'd love a rebrand! Great thread

My DH was talking about going to a 'gig' (as in 'popular music concert') and MIL, who is very poshly-spoken South African, seemed outraged and said '"Gig?" Is that some kind of Northern word?!'

I'm sure she was, just like how we used to say Morry-cam-bee in stead of Morecambe and I also say Why-mund-ham for Wymondham, properly pronounced Windum!

Nigella was being ironically jokey!😄

She was an absolute scream and certainly made the work day fun. We had Christmas dinner with the directors and one of them was very straightlaced. She told a joke, can't remember it but the punchline was "Man with hole in pocket he feel cocky all day." Said director looked like he was going to have a coronary and ordered a brandy.

I love the thought of rebranding. What exactly did you do? I'd love a rebrand!Great thread

What are the requirements for a legitimate rebrand?

Would refusing to use county names count for Hyacinth points.

A relative's friend refused to use the up to date county names, instead preferring to use historic ones that sounded "better".

For example insisting on using Lincolnshire, not South Humberside.

I grew up in an innercity slum in the 50s. I thought the council houses were posh, they had bathrooms we had a lav at the top of the yard.

On MN posters get their arse handed to them if they dare to suggest (or mention that their child eats) any type of food that is remotely 'healthy' and not, say, a packet of Quavers and a Penguin. They're seen as bragging or lying, because surely all children turn their noses up at things like hummus and will only eat chips and toast.

Anyone else been here long enough to remember the green bean casserole at the playdate fiasco?

I get the p taken out of me at work. This is outing, but "Hi!" To any of my colleagues:

Anything out of place in the office is now referred to as an "aide memoire" after a comment I made about the Communication Book needing to be left where people can see it as an aide memoire to writing in it.

An employee who had to retire early on the grounds of ill-health popped in to work. When asked what she did with herself all day, she said she had a group of friends who popped round regularly for coffee & a chat. After she'd gone I commented that I'd like to join her côterie of friends & my colleague replied that he thought that was a coaterie & pointed to where we hang our coats up behind the office door.

My mother is very, very Hyacinth...

So it was a great shame that our-not-quite-next-door-neighbours' surname was Banger, correct pronounciation? Bainzher (of course)

My MIL is Hyacinth. One of her habits that makes me laugh the most is correcting me when, if I've not heard someone, I say "What?". You should always say "Pardon?", apparently. Even "Sorry?" isn't posh enough for her.

When I got my French nationality I was listed alongside dozens of others who had also been awarded the same... and right next to dozens of people who had legally changed their names. It is funny to see some of the surname upgrades people had gone for.

One such example was Mme Merda who became, overnight, Mme Honoré.

It make me laugh on Coronation Street how they go on about Cheshire as though its very posh. It isnt, I live there

What an outdated and ignorant thing to say. Oh yes, I’m sure her house has been used as a cash cow. Lots have so they actually “own” very little x

Mine are both DH:

When we first met and he came to my family house:

'AnneLarsen there's someone looking out of your window'
Me 'No, that's next door'
Him: 'What do you mean? They're in your house'
Me: 'It's semi-detached'
Him: 'Oh. Right'. (He didn't really know anyone who didn't live in a detached house).

And when he came with me to Aldi for the first time:

'Well it's ok, but we can't do our full shop here because they don't have organic milk'.

He's lovely but a bit...'sheltered' 😁

Did he seriously not know semi detached houses existed, even if he'd never been in one?

We called it that for a few weeks after it went viral. 🤣🤣🤣

DGM had Hyacinth tendencies. She had a telephone voice, and when she met now exh she said afterwards 'He's not really our sort, is he? 'as if she was Queen Victoria. The joke is that her DF was a roadmender for Brighton corporation and ex's DF came from a family that at one point owned a substantial slice of Wimbledon (the borough, not the tennis club).

I went to a cafe in Woodstock over the summer. Two elderly ladies in the table next to me, one was full of airs and graces, the other seemed very normal. Obviously Mrs airs and graces wanted to be loud enough for everyone in cafe to hear spent the whole time waffling loudly about how well her grandchildren were doing in their finance roles and how their children went to such and such private school etc. the whole cafe were rolling their eyes at her. Then she loudly announced “of course my grandson spends an awful lot of time socialising with the Van Coootsems who are great friends of William and Karth-e-rine” her friend then shot me a raised eyebrow smirk and carried on patiently listening to her friend. Whilst I descended into fits of giggles.

I absolutely LOVED What Every Woman wants!'

I had a new outfit every weekend as a teenager 😁

To be fair you wouldn't want to live in France with a surname that basically means shit 😂

When hearing my flatmates worked on a building site, my mother said "oh, are they architects or engineers ?" Neither, but someone has to execute the plans !!

I have never said "I will in my vagina"!

What would precede this .... "It's dark out there - take a torch"?

Oh I agree with you on both counts

@Gardengirl108, to be fair, you can understand why your colleague changed the pronunciation of their surname. My dad once worked with a Mr. Sorearse. His name was, apparently, pronounced Sorry-ah-say. I think if I were Mrs Sorearse l would have changed the name by deed poll. Imagine if you needed a prescription for haemorrhoids!