Primary age boys these days…

[Warchester]

Very simple question because I hate to be that person declaring ‘back in my day’ statements. But why are young boys today so over sexualised, language especially. I truly don’t know where they would get it from at this age.

It honestly disgusts me. Just had a quick chat with my 9 year old and he explained one of his mates asked to s* his sexy balls. WTF. Another classmate declared they had sex last term, whilst another local boy, not at the same school came out as gay. DS goes to a very good state school in a great area, not that that matters I guess.

I am by all means not an old mum (30) so I distinctively remember school and these types of sexual comments were not rampant.

If this is normal behaviour for school aged boys please let me know I am BU.

My 9yo is not like this.

The girls are equally over exposed to unsuitable and sexualised material. But ignoring age ratings and checking on just what media your children are actually subjected to isn't new, my parents happily left me and my brother with access to their video collection and disappeared for nights out around 30-40 years ago. .

I'm sure you'll get advice to raise a child asking for a sexual act to be raised as a safeguarding concern by someone, but schools are generally not willing to take those sorts of actions

I don't think that is normal.

I recently had "the talk" about sex with my almost 10yo, and had to bring up the conversation as he had never shown the slightest curiosity. He had never heard any playground chat about sex.

I’m over 40, and boys did in fact talk to each other like this when I was at primary. They didn’t have the first clue about sex, they were just trying to shock each other with their words.

The balls comment is inappropriate and your son should know that. He can then choose to report to a teacher if he wants to.

If his 9yo classmate did indeed have sex, then that’s a matter for the school safeguarding lead, who will no doubt pass it on to the police. But I bet he didn’t have sex!

Why is coming out as gay in the same category as the other things though? Loads of kids are aware that they’re gay when they’re 9. Doesn’t mean they’ve done anything about it. Thank goodness they can be open about it now! That’s one thing that’s changed since I was young.

I don't think this is normal at primary age. Secondary, yes.

My 9 year old isn't like this either.

Tiktok

My 8, 10 (and 12 year) old boys aren’t like this.

I don’t think what you have described is typically the way primary school aged boys talk. You do get the odd one though clearly as your DS’s friend proves.

Coming out as gay at that age is definitely not something that I have ever heard of at my children’s school.

I have an almost 9 year old and I have never heard him nor his friends say anything remotely like this! And they go to an inner city London school.

What I am noticing in the Y3 cohort of my DC that many of the children (and their parents) seem to be very eager to leave ‘childish things’ behind them asap and are encouraging activities that in my opinion would be more appropriate for older children/ teenagers. I think it’s a shame. They are so little only once why would you want to rush through it? You can do ‘older’ activities later.
And don’t get me started about talking about boyfriend and girlfriends at this age. 🙄

It's like this in my Sons primary school too

I have a year 3 DD and I’ve been quite shocked by some of the stuff she says kids are saying. I do worry about it.

Not normal for mine either, I would speak to school

Working with primary schools, yes sometimes.

I've had girls tell me the boys ‘dry hump’ them and describe the boys as ‘players’, explaining what that means. I was aghast, I must say.

PHSE curriculum does teach about relationships, consent etc. In an age-appropriate way to give children the knowledge they need to deal with this.

Is it a boy thing? My DS is 13 and I wouldn’t say particularly sexualised even now. He certainly wasn’t at primary school. Most of the boys I know of this age (and I know a good number) are much slower to develop and have very little understanding of sexual things. The girls on the other hand? My 10 year old DD and her friends are years in advance of where I was at their age. Always talking about cute guys etc. They’ve grown up too quickly and it’s a bit sad but I’m not sure if you can pinpoint it down to a single factor.

I’m vaguely aware that a few of the boys in DS1’s year 6 class are like this. DS1 has characterised them as ‘pointless stupids’ and ignores them. He says they’re the reason he doesn’t want a phone because they’re constantly asking for everyone else’s number and have accepted that his parents are too mean to buy him one. There were several incidents last year where everyone in the class with WhatsApp was rounded up for interviewing (DS1 reported and confirmed by parents) because inappropriate stuff had been circulated.

My ds is 15...he never ever spoke like this in primary school and neither did his friends. It's really not usual.

There's always been a few like this. I still remember the 7 year old that was singing a pop song about sex and doing the hip thrusts to go with it.

That was ten years ago!

Still not sure how much he understood of what he was doing.

Tik tok. Speak to the DSL.

My DD is 11 and she and none of her friends ( boys or girls) are like this. However there are certainly some in her year who are. I am very good friends with a mum of one of these boys. In a nutshell he is very easily influenced and has become friends with 2 boys who have a lot of not so great male influences in their lives. Older brothers, around age 15/16 etc. God knows what they hear/ see at home and then bring to school! They both have had smart phone for a couple of years and god knows what they access on them. All it takes is 1 or 2 kids to teach the others all the cool stuff they get from their older siblings. They likely have little idea what it all means at 9, but there's very little you can do about it, especially if you have a child that's easily influenced or easily impressed other than teach them about sex and respectful and appropriately language.

The children at my son's bog-standard state primary in east London are nothing like that.

Although one of the year sixes did shout "FUCK!" In the muga apparently. And someone wrote "Rex" in red biro on two toilet doors, but it wasn't Rex who wrote it.

I have a year 4 DD. So many of the kids seem to be allowed unrestricted access to YouTube and Tik Tok, so they may well be picking it up from there. Very annoying as you are then the bad guy if you don’t allow your own child the same access.

@CreeperBoom @FiveCows @funinthesun19 and others, glad to hear this.

DS would not have the slightest clue about sex beyond sexual organs if it was not for school. This makes me so sad and angry.

BTW the school is in Greater London and I would assume this means something but again it really shouldn’t.

@ChekhovsMumComing out as gay is not appropriate chat between 9-10year old children. Just as boyfriends and girlfriends at that age is not appropriate.

Does not sounds normal, definitely not in our area