Primary age boys these days…

[Warchester]

Very simple question because I hate to be that person declaring ‘back in my day’ statements. But why are young boys today so over sexualised, language especially. I truly don’t know where they would get it from at this age.

It honestly disgusts me. Just had a quick chat with my 9 year old and he explained one of his mates asked to s* his sexy balls. WTF. Another classmate declared they had sex last term, whilst another local boy, not at the same school came out as gay. DS goes to a very good state school in a great area, not that that matters I guess.

I am by all means not an old mum (30) so I distinctively remember school and these types of sexual comments were not rampant.

If this is normal behaviour for school aged boys please let me know I am BU.

Mine is seven and his school is not in a posh area to put it nicely. I have heard a few swear words from local children but nothing sexual at all.

Your last comment struck a chord with me.

If you look on fb you will find so many screen free parenting and homeschool groups. When you ask homeschoolers why they do it the answer is so often that they were a teacher and they know what goes on :-(

@itha the private school where I work definitely has boys that speak disgracefully and with such misogyny. It's not a state/private divide this - sorry if that bursts your bubble in any way.

@Canisaysomething I don’t know what to say, absolutely shocking.

So what actually happens when a safeguarding issue is raised, what real action is taken by the school? Seems like nothing is done.

Some of the girls in my yr6 child class came out as lesbians this year, and a boy explained what a 69 was in the playground last week but not in yr3. All of the kids who do this are on social media like tik tok.

My 6 and 8 yo don't have phones but do watch TV (supervised by a parent). They play old console games (not internet enabled ones). They are hearing this language from the school.

I agree with a few others, that children seem to be growing up too fast these days.

It’s the internet. Specifically, access to devices without restrictions.

As a test, create some social media accounts and list yourself as 9. Wait to see who contacts you.

Never heard anything like that from my Yr 6 son or his friends

If you aren't reporting what's being said then you are also part of the problem.

I don't really understand why people don't restrict access to YouTube & tiktok. It is really, really not hard to.

My primary age DC haven't heard of either, thank goodness. They get zero unsupervised time on phones or tablets. We cautiously educate them on safe internet use but supervise them. Always.

There are some like this, and once the class in-crowd is saying it it goes around the others even if they don’t know what it means. Too many parents who either don’t care or genuinely think you can’t stop the little darlings being on the internet because they need to keep in with their friends and not be left behind.

My 8yo is not like this at all. However I do remember some boys being like that at school when I was in the last years of primary. I dont think its a modern thing. I was at primary in the 90s!!

On every occasion I have and will be doing so regarding this, can you not read the context of my posts. Where on earth have I insinuated I would not be reporting this.

My post is asking is this is normal behaviour not whether this needs reporting.

Unfortunately it only takes one child in a class to be exposed to inappropriate crap and they're all repeating it. I've been horrified by some of the stuff my 9 year old DS tells me is being said/pantomimed out by one little boy in his class.

My DS finds it all screamingly hilarious (because he's a 9 year old boy and anything related to bodily functions or body parts is madly funny 🙄, even though he understands less than 50% of it). I've regularly had to tell him off and explain that whatever "Jimmy" said today is not ok for him to laugh at/repeat/encourage.

"Jimmy" has also made inappropriate sexual comments to some of the girls in the class which DS (thankfully) already knew was not ok and told the teacher about.

This little boy comes from a chaotic background and school are already aware of the issues. I try to be sympathetic but I'd really rather my DS wasn't being exposed to a lot of this stuff.

Why is coming out as gay a bad thing? It's not at all uncommon to have boy/girlfriends at around 10 (they just mostly don't actually talk to each other).

The rest I agree with is a real problem. But so is you putting that in the same category.

The talk is overly sexualised, but often with no understanding what the different words and terms means. Why is it happening? Access to the internet of course.

my dd (8) came home from school and said a boy in her class keeps making annoying noises like this - then proceeded to imitate him making a what can only be described as porn sex moaning. I was pretty shocked to be honest, I can’t imagine how he can have heard it.

Although to make matters worse my ds (5) was listening and copied the noise, I stupidly told him to stop without being able to explain why which of course has now turned this into the noise he makes when he wants to annoy me which is extremely embarrassing, but just goes to show how these things can spread without the child even knowing the meaning of what they are saying.

My DS told me the other day that he learnt all his swear words in about year 4 from a friend who was the 4th boy out of 4 - v middle class school and family. Nothing to do with the internet, just teen boys thinking it hysterical to teach their younger brothers friends as many rude words as he could.

It’s not normal. Neither my 9 year old son or his friends are like that

I have a 10 year old in year 6 and neither he nor any of his friends are like this, they all just like sports, Minecraft, Roblox, Pokémon etc. They do laugh at the number 69 but clearly have no idea why it’s funny.
I clearly recall in year 5/6 when I was at school the boys were way worse - they’d rank the girls on looks, play kiss chase etc and that was 1987!

Also mine do know swear words as I don’t censor them really but they never use them at home, they’re very respectful.

My 9 year old nor any of his friends would speak like this.

All children are different away from.their parents. Stand on the other side.of the school doors and I bet you see/hear you son say/do things you never expected. Not saying he is a bad kid but please don't be so naive.

And when a safeguarding issue is raised there is an investigation. Child will be talked to discretely, files will be passed to the relevant people, monitoring will happen. You will not see any of this for the child's protection. It doesn't mean it is not happening. If you knew exactly what was happening the DSL are not doing their job. Do you want us to follow the kids around with am illuminous arrow saying taken in to care after perfect Peters mum made one complaint?

I am the same age as you and there were definitely boys like that. One used to jump on me and simulate sex around age 8/9. There were a lot of comments and jokes about blow jobs too. It was a fairly rough area though.

Incidentally I don’t think I’d lump a 9yo coming out as gay as inappropriately sexual like the rest of your examples. It might be that he just wants to kiss and cuddle another boy

Do they know not to use bad language at school?