Primary age boys these days…

[Warchester]

Very simple question because I hate to be that person declaring ‘back in my day’ statements. But why are young boys today so over sexualised, language especially. I truly don’t know where they would get it from at this age.

It honestly disgusts me. Just had a quick chat with my 9 year old and he explained one of his mates asked to s* his sexy balls. WTF. Another classmate declared they had sex last term, whilst another local boy, not at the same school came out as gay. DS goes to a very good state school in a great area, not that that matters I guess.

I am by all means not an old mum (30) so I distinctively remember school and these types of sexual comments were not rampant.

If this is normal behaviour for school aged boys please let me know I am BU.

So. Much. Homophobia. in this thread.

Eh?

What does being gay have to do with it? Kids have crushes. I don't get why that is part of it?
No one would care if a kid came out as straight.

Being gay isn't inappropriate.
All the gay people you know, were once gay children. How is that inappropriate?

@Princessconsuelabananahammock9 yeah it's a non issue at that age. I don't think many kids think of themselves as being gay or straight or whatever at that age. It's adults who make a big deal out of it .

They were children who grew up to be gay. I never said it was inappropriate or said anything homophobic. Kids that young aren't concerned about things like that anyway it's adults who are worrying about it . Children are children they aren't sexual regardless of what orientation they will end up being.

That's terrible, far worse than dropping a few f bombs. I'm not surprised she cried if they were all adults he'd probably be arrested for sexual assault. Kids turn 10 in year 5 right? So age of criminal responsibility hope the police were called to give him a stern talking to or something

Sadly the police weren't called . I recall this more clearly now though heaven knows I've tried to forget about it for decades. No, both children were talked to sternly, the girl was blamed and the boy denied it . Apparently the girl had led him on. She was very young for her age, immature, used to flash her knickers at the boys. I think the teacher thought she had led them on? I don't agree that was the case. I saw it and she didn't . But the teacher had issues with her and apparently this girl when much younger had form for making up things like this, she wasn't quite all there mentally. Not daft but a bit odd. Had a hair trigger temper, very sensitive to criticism. self destructive as well, picked her skin until it bled, I expect was ND. But I don't think it was recognised in girls then. She did not lead them on though , I saw it.

They pushed her down and made her do it. She didn't want to.

Exactly my issue with OPs post.

@Leah5678 I find it easier to speak about what happened in the third person? I know that's weird. I apologise for any confusion. I'm now having intensive therapy which helps a lot.

This thread is horribly homophobic. You can’t in any way compare children who are approaching puberty realising that they might be or are gay with the same children displaying highly sexualised behaviour and using inappropriate language.

I remember kids talking like this when I was in primary. It's just words that they know are naughty, rather than knowing what it all means.
It probably has got worse though with kids having free reign of YouTube/TikTok on screens.

YouTube, TikTok, Roblox, older siblings - then it spreads around the class. I don’t think it’s a completely new phenomenon, I also remember the “are you a virgin” questions in primary school 30+ years ago.

I imagine most of the kids are saying it for shock value/body humour rather than understanding what it means.

I’m sceptical of the posters who are so certain that their kids don’t ever talk like this. I expect some are just better than others about not doing it in front of parents/teachers.

Reading the whole thread, I actually think a lot of this stems from the fact that kids at 9 do have some feelings that could be described as ‘sexual’ - crushes, curiosity about their own bodies and how adults use theirs - and a lot of parents seem to want to keep them ‘innocent’ of this ‘inappropriate’ knowledge for far longer than they ever could. 9 year olds have been doing and saying sexual stuff for as long as there have been 9 year olds. It’s ignorance and an impression from adults that all this is taboo and dirty which leads to the filthy-sounding stuff and some of the really disturbing behaviour. A 9 year old can know the basics of reproduction, what sex is, what consent means, and some of the variations from heterosexual married monogamy that exist in the world around them without coming to harm at all. The second they ask questions we should be making sure we’re a source of unbiased, unemotional information and a sounding board for worries. If we do, we’ll get there with the facts way before TikTok gets there with the rubbish. But if we’re tying ourselves up in knots about how ‘inappropriate’ it is for a 9 year old to come out as gay, we’re essentially pushing their honest statement about their feelings and curiosity under the carpet, and we shouldn’t be surprised if they respond by turning round to another 9 year old and saying/doing something that genuinely is inappropriate.