To feel sad seeing a 7 week old baby at DC's nursery today

[comfysketchers]

Dropping my 15 month old off at nursery today before work and there was another woman there at the same time handing over a 7 week old sleeping baby.

He was absolutely tiny and I just felt so sad looking at him thinking that he barely even knows he is out of the womb and his mum is dropping him off to spend all day with strangers in a noisy nursery environment.

I should also add that I live in a country that has excellent parental leave from the government plus most private companies pay at least 10 weeks of full pay on top of that, with many paying much more than that.

YABU - It’s perfectly normal for a 7 week old baby to spend 8 hours per day in a nursery.

YANBU - A 7 week old baby should be at home with its mum.

So judgemental!

YABU becuase you have no idea of their circumstances and are being extremely judgemental

Actually, I've changed my mind a bit, this is a great response.

I completely agree with this.

But OP is gossipping with staff and calling the mother neglectful. Not saying that the whole system is wrong.

Who asked you to speak up for a well cared for child. Who is likely also well loved, and who for reasons you don’t know spends a third of their time in nursery, you don’t get to set your own standards and then dictate and judge.

Very judgemental post, what if the person has no option but to go to work? What if they have a funeral to pay for? Or what if they are up to their eyes in debt?

Agree.

OP yanbu, it is sad that a baby is in nursery that young, BUT YABVU to not seem to have in any of your posts consider why the mum has to do so in the first place. All of your post is about baby and how you felt about your own but nothing about thinking as to why the mum has to do this while feeling free in yourself to have the audacity to come to SM to judge her and have others do so to.

If you can’t follow my comparison without thinking I’ve said they’re the same I really can’t help you.

She might not have even been going to work. She may have had chemotherapy herself or something. Who knows.

Must happen in the USA all the time as there is no maternity leave.

When my son was at nursery (from 6 months as Inwent back to work) there was a tiny baby there too. He was there because his mum was having cancer treatment and didn’t have childcare.
mind your own business you stop being so nosey, judgemental and nasty.

Do re-read the fucking awful posts you have written that might enlighten you. But if you can't write coherently then I can't help you.

Exactly, I find posts like this quite sad.

See my previous posts about a. Whether a 49 day old newborn is actually being ‘well cared for’ when pulled from its mother in the fourth trimester b. our collective responsibility to speak up for those who can’t.

I agree with you OP in that I also think 7 weeks (and 15 months for that matter) is too young to be in daycare all day.

As an aside, I have noticed a small shift away from using daycare and more mothers staying at home till their child is in school. I guess now that we have to work until we are 67, 5 years out of the workplace in a 50 year working career isn't really going to do all that much damage to our careers anyway. Plus i've always been a bit suspicious of the myth that being out of the workplace for a few years is career suicide. I think the goverment is just peddling that myth because it wants women to be economically active.

@WinterDeWinter but you’re ignoring the other potential damage which could be done in some of the situations that people have mentioned above- like an elder sibling being in cancer treatment, the mum and dad having medical issues, the whole family ending up homeless/ no heating/ food etc. That wouldn’t be great for the baby either.

Plus as many have said a baby of that age will probably sleep half the day in nursery and probably have plenty of time with parents either side of the nursery day, or at night, and will get to know its carers at nursery very well, plus be fed/ cuddled/ warm so it’s not equivalent to a 7 week old being taken into care etc at all.

Why do you need to “speak up” about something you know fuck all about?

Honestly there’s a lack of basic reasoning and comprehension skills in this thread as well as a depressing tendency towards looking the other way.

This country has decent maternity pay but people still fall through the gaps and if you have a mortgage to pay for and only get MA you're going to have no option but go back to work. Its not ideal but it's not child abuse and no one should be judged for being in that situation

@WinterDeWinter - no I don't think that harm
will necessarily be done. I know at least one young adult who went to Nursery fulltime at 6 weeks. It worked out fine. I know other young adults whose DMs never went back to work who are not fine.

Why, because people don’t agree with your ridiculous opinions?

Attachment theory is just that a theory, however, there is some evidence to suggest very young babies are more likely to become unwell and nursery are less likely to notice than with their primary caregivers. This is the reason cited by the WHO for the USA’s increased infant mortality levels. Of course here maybe other factors at play here such as early termination of breastfeeding or use of unregulated child providers.

My god, what a horrible thread. How dare you (OP) , not only judge someone like this - but to then put it on here to seek validity . You clearly know nothing about this child / family. Which is good because 1. Its none of your business.

1. If this is a child in need, it could be they / mum are getting assistance via the nursery.

And to the poster who said 'abuse is everyone's business '- give your head a wobble. Most people who say this are sat curtain twitching and are to scared to report 'abuse' on case they offend anyone!

The fact that this baby is in a safe setting , being cared for by professionals is reassuring.

In some countries like the USA, this is totally usual. You have no idea what the parent’s circumstances are. In some industries, taking a long maternity leave could spell the end of your career. Self employed people for example but even in my industry, I couldn’t take full mat leave with my youngest DS as much as I would have loved to. In many industries, if you get off the horse it’s game over for you.

Including the mother? Who may have cancer. Who may have no choice but to go to work? Instead you’ve been judgey and scathing

your responsibility is to have empathy, to try to understand why a mother has to do this,not to attack and judge,