To feel sad seeing a 7 week old baby at DC's nursery today

[comfysketchers]

Dropping my 15 month old off at nursery today before work and there was another woman there at the same time handing over a 7 week old sleeping baby.

He was absolutely tiny and I just felt so sad looking at him thinking that he barely even knows he is out of the womb and his mum is dropping him off to spend all day with strangers in a noisy nursery environment.

I should also add that I live in a country that has excellent parental leave from the government plus most private companies pay at least 10 weeks of full pay on top of that, with many paying much more than that.

YABU - It’s perfectly normal for a 7 week old baby to spend 8 hours per day in a nursery.

YANBU - A 7 week old baby should be at home with its mum.

You did? Or your parents and husband did?

My son is two and being raised bilingual. English is his second language and he pretty much only hears it from me most of the time. So anything he comes out with in English must have come from me. If we didn't spend any meaningful time together and he was being raised by the nursery, he literally wouldn't speak English. And yet, funnily enough, that is not the case.

I think several people on this thread assume that any money a SAHP makes is a silly little side hustle, as in from making felt animals or selling Avon.

So what is it? Enlighten us

Are we though? Because at least one PP said children shouldn't be in nursery before the age of 3 and another was lamenting their mother working when they were school age.

So no, we are not just talking about babies.

That's very rich coming from you.

and hilarious.

But mums can do both, right: if they want to and can afford to (in more ways than just the financial sense) stay at home for the baby and even the toddler stage then go back to work for their child to see them working? Of course in some industries like tech this can be tricky- having time out I mean. But it’s really not in all. I’m in ed which was encouraging pensioners back not so long ago! 😂 I shouldn’t be facetious by it’s true. Not that I did it, but an ideal for me would have been to spend a few years at home when they were very young, before transitioning into part time nursery and eventually full time when pre school age.

Your argument about babies not even remembering nursery works both ways btw. They won’t remember mum going out working either. (I know many don’t get the choice.) Fair enough when they’re older though - I agree as I do with much of what you said. I just find this such a polarised debate, which you allude to in your first sentence.

I have made many bad decisions, but I made a few good ones when I was younger.

My ex husband was one of the bad decisions, btw.

Guys it’s a nursery with staff who are literally trained to care for babies

not a crack house

I can't imagine all new mothers would be thrilled at their partners being home all day during their mat leave.

This person either knows they have lost their argument or are a bridge dwelling. Ignore them

I thought she didn't raise her child? Make up your mind.

Right, so despite all the posters on this thread complaining that "it would always be women being the SAHP", actually they don't want it the other way, either?

What has happened to you? I think it’s best you step away.

I thought it isn't all about what mothers want?

You are entirely right. Paying someone else to disadvantage your child’s educational outcome and potential is ludicrous and not a cool move.

I have no idea about anyone else, but I did freelance charity governance work when my two were young.

Go home, you're drunk

We are a trilingual family. DT’s were born and grew up in London but we don’t speak English at home. We do OPOL. DT’s learnt English from going to nursery - another positive for them.

It’s a shame your 16 and 18y olds are seeing a mum who doesn’t work yet has such disdain for mums who do. What a nasty role model. For sons or daughters. 😳
Hope they have a dad with a more tolerant and broader outlook on life. A better role model I guess.