To feel sad seeing a 7 week old baby at DC's nursery today

[comfysketchers]

Dropping my 15 month old off at nursery today before work and there was another woman there at the same time handing over a 7 week old sleeping baby.

He was absolutely tiny and I just felt so sad looking at him thinking that he barely even knows he is out of the womb and his mum is dropping him off to spend all day with strangers in a noisy nursery environment.

I should also add that I live in a country that has excellent parental leave from the government plus most private companies pay at least 10 weeks of full pay on top of that, with many paying much more than that.

YABU - It’s perfectly normal for a 7 week old baby to spend 8 hours per day in a nursery.

YANBU - A 7 week old baby should be at home with its mum.

I know people here won’t like my response but I would not have had a child unless I was in a position to stay home for at least the first few years. That was my choice and it worked well for my family and I.

But it IS the case in many families. Not many families are able to survive on one income, and they should be.

What on earth is going on in your life that you feel the need to judge someone else like that? That’s a shitty thing to do, OP. You have no idea what is happening in their lives so get over yourself and get back to sitting in your glass house.

When I had my older 2 you had to go back at 4 months if you were going.
I'd suggest you remove your beak.

Lucky you.

“Ultimately it's none of your business.” Well that could go for anything on here couldn’t it.

YANBU OP but you’ll get a bashing!

Whatever the circumstances, it’s definitely too young. But then I think 15 months is too young as well. 🫣

This is of course the perfect solution. I just can't see many men agreeing to that.

What I find interesting as well is that I've seen more than one pp comment on SAHM threads claiming that working mums are never judged, SAHM's are judged and it should be a woman's choice.

Apparently it should only be a choice with no judgement if the woman wants to be a SAHM.

It's not being "judgemental" to think that it's not ideal for a seven week old baby to spend all day away from its mum. Or at least not in normal circumstances.

Good for you (if this is actually a genuine post). Most of us don't share your view.

Stop judging OP, you have no idea what is going on.

So basically you have a husband who earns enough to enable you to stay home?

I work because I want to. Both my children went into childcare. Should I not have had children then?

Because my DH makes more than enough for me to comfortably do what I want, and what I wanted was to be a SAHM. It’s not for everyone but I enjoy it.

No it is not, it is judgmental to call it neglectful like the op went on to do, or the other myriad of abuse this mother has had thrown at her from a handful of posters.

This

For who? Who is able to change this, and actually standing up saying they're going to? And how are they going to change this?

Stand against the big parties. I'm sure if you say you're going to do this, and give solid plans of how, without ruining other aspects of people's lives, you'll win. You don't sound hugely likeable, but no politician is so you'll fit right in.

Child abuse. Really? As others have said, who knows what the circumstances are.

It's absolutely not ideal no, but presumably the mother of that baby feels the same and doesn't deserve to be judged

Why must women judge each other like this? I put mine in childcare under 1 because I wanted to go back to work. I have worked hard for my career and I didn't want to destroy it. They are fine. Happy, healthy and secure.

But I was 17, just out of care really and had no idea what I was doing.

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You mean unless you had someone else to keep a roof over your head and put food on the table then?

Don't you think that's a rather regressive attitude to be promoting to your children?

It's like feminism never happened.

From my point of view, my daughter won't remember whether she was in nursery at 8 months or a year or whether I stayed at home with her until she went to school, but when she's 16 she'll be able to see whether I am thriving in a well paid job which contributes a significant amount to our family finances and lifestyle, allowing her to do extracurricular activities and go on decent holidays, or whether I'm financially dependent on her father.

And I'm not entirely sure what the point would be of encouraging her to excel academically or otherwise if the expectation in our family was that she stay at home to raise her own children one day. Why show her the world and then explain that she has to choose between that and having babies, whereas her brother can have both?

I wouldn't have had a child if I had no choice for whatever reason but to stay at home for the first few years.

My DC goes to nursery full time which also works well for my family and I. Amazing that all women are different.

You have no idea why the baby is there.

There are parents dropping off their 3 year olds at nursery who feel sad seeing you drop off a tiny 15 month old, so it’s probably best you don’t judge a stranger whose circumstances you know absolutely nothing about.

But surely even in your fortunate position on you can can see why people have to work? Or shocker, might even choose to go to work after having children?

And to be honest, I think having no time away from your children in many years is not healthy or good for you all.

Mind your own business. Seriously. You have absolutely no idea what's going on or why this decision has been made. It might be that it's best for the baby, because it's best for the baby's parents. Just keep your horrible opinions to yourself.