AIBU to think the pressure for ‘older’ women to exercise is wrong?

[StitchInLime]

So as a woman in my late 40s, I keep getting told (via ads, from some people in my life, via tv and so on) that I need to do strength exercises and cardio if I don’t want to suffer later in life. And yet, it’s the woman I know who did f-all exercise at my age and before who seem to be thriving in their 60s/70s (eg my aunts) and the ones who did more exercise at my age now have issues with knees, hips etc. I find it difficult to find the motivation in light of this. If you have opposite examples, please share as I really need to motivate myself!

I think this is all so true.

No-one is being forced to keep themselves at a healthy weight and exercise.. it is down to individual choice. The information is out to enable people to make their own minds up.

What I would add is that if you want to lead as healthy a life as possible when you age it is so important to exercise and eat healthy food.

I’m 68 and have been very active all my life, walking everywhere as a child - we played outside as children… it was the norm.

As an adult I cycled every day or walked, I ran marathons and fun runs in the 1980’s and did exercise groups at the local gym in the fashion of Jane Fonda. I started yoga at around that time too.

All this has kept me slim, fit and active. I don’t run anymore but I do still walk and do yoga every morning. I still have muscle memory from all those years of activity and don’t think I would be so fit and healthy if I had lived a sedentary lifestyle.

The reason I proved the consultant wrong was simply that 80% of people don't do the physio. It's proven time and again that people who exercise have better knee health than those that don't

Yes my DH had a partial knee replacement last year. He was very disciplined about the physio and now he is running again (not a huge amount, just a parkrun each weekend and maybe another short run midweek).

He did not cause his knee problem through running, it was a mix of being clumsy and falling on it a couple of times, and probably genetics too.

If you have joint replacements you have to do the physio. It will pay dividends.

Petrine

Yep, there are men and women down my rowing club well into their 70s who are still active and out on the water every weekend. I am just hoping I am just like them when I get to a similar age. One thing I have noticed is how massively varied the general health of my university peer group is. We all graduated 25 years ago yet there is clearly a noticeable divide between the active and non active with many of the latter developing various minor and and major health conditions which I imagine is strongly linked to the fact they have done zero exercise since they left school.

I enjoyed Cto5K for a couple of years but running didn't like me. I had some strange pains and problems (like a foot that temporarily stopped working!) and I was looking forward to doing a Parkrun but never got there as I kept having to take recovery breaks and build up again. I gave up running/jogging after my fourth fall resulted in a broken tooth.

Maybe if I'd done strength exercises as well I wouldn't have had these problems.

I'm 30, and amongst my circle of friends there is a worrying belief that you can still be healthy whilst not exercising and being a overweight. I made the mistake of talking to a group of my friends about my new commitment to exercise (got a swim/gym/class membership back in the new year and exercise before work and during lunchbreak) and what I'd learned about nutrition. They all expressed actual concern about me and hoped I wouldn't do myself an injury. Whereas I'm now concerned as to what their old age will look like, with zero exercise and no concern for overeating or what they're eating. The body positive stuff is definitely an influence. I suspect they think I'm fatphobic for wanting to overhaul my physique and be the strongest, healthiest version of myself.

One thing I have noticed is how massively varied the general health of my university peer group is. We all graduated 25 years ago yet there is clearly a noticeable divide between the active and non active

Same, we just had a reunion, all in mid-40s now. Some people look and most importantly, move just like 25 years ago. Other are ..elderly. None of them have any actual health conditions, just not active, sometimes also overweight but not always.

Definitely
I had cauda equina and a spinal op. Was out of bed an hour after the operation and discharged less than 24hrs later
Read loads on recovery and walked, paid for 4 sessions with a PT and got back on a horse 8 weeks later
The surgeon said my recovery was so good because I was stubborn

Yabu.
I am mid forties and took up martial arts again on Zoom in lockdown.
I have noticed a massive difference in my fitness, flexibility and I no longer suffer with back pain. I feel stronger particularly in my thighs and can feel a real difference walking downstairs and getting up from chairs/ sitting on the loo.

If you don't use it you lose it.

I can't imagine not exercising it's such a mood booster and that ache the next day feels so satisfying!
I am amazed at my own progress and can't believe at 45 I can now round house kick someone in the head and do a spinning hook kick. My club and my fellow students motivate me to continue and I have made new friends.
I start my black belt training cycle in January.

@strawberryshortcakescat some of the trouble is we don't all find it a 'mood booster'. I am fortunate in having an active job and no car, otherwise at almost 50 I probably wouldn't be as fit. I don't greatly enjoy physical exertion. I do like to be outside, though, and it's the outdoors that gives me the boost. TBF, though, I also love my couch and a good book.

Is it pressure or encouragement though?

This thread is so interesting. Say you were early 50s and the type of person who was always rubbish at sport and learned at school that exercise was a chore and a weekly humiliation, and you've carried that all your life, but you're now concerned about being too sedentary and want to improve your health going forward - where would you start? If you had no idea about what you should be doing and you're nervous and anxious about joining anything. Because you've always felt that sporty things are "not for you".

Asking for a ... yeah okay, it's for me.

@JammyThing I would start with brisk walking regularly and perhaps try a beginner class of some sort - yoga, dance, fitness, anything that you would enjoy. You will find that there are lots of people in a similar situation. If classes are not your thing maybe swimming or join a gym.

@JammyThing I would just start with walking. It's free and you can do it from your front door. Borrow a dog if you like them or go with a friend.

@JammyThing like others have said start with brisk walking.
I have some dumbbells in the house and go in you tube and do 20 minute workouts ( loads on there , search dumbbell workouts for women).
Try yoga, Pilates whatever you think you'd enjoy.

@JammyThing , I’m late 40s. I started with a brisk 30 minute walk each day with dumbbell work every few days.

I got a smartwatch as I like tracking numbers.

I was far more unfit than I realised to the point I had to rest halfway through the walk but today I’m showing as ‘above average’ cardio and I can manage the walk without an issue.

@JammyThing I was rubbish at sports at school.

Parkrun is greatly because it's actually about finishing the 5km, not really the time, but it's maybe not a starter activity.

I hadn't been to gym classes for a while- worried about being too old and found the music too loud at some if them - but then I found my local one has a Sunday morning one full of oldies because the young ones are too hungover to get up in time .

I was that person - always picked last for teams etc. Not remotely sporty.

I did do a fair amount of walking because I got the train to work and walked to and from stations but was probably a stone too heavy for much of my 20s. I originally lost weight by eating very little, and doing aerobics. That lead me to running a bit, and I lost about a stone overall and looked much better (and went from a size 12/14 to a size 10).

Then I got pregnant and the weight came back and stayed until ds was about 4, when I started swimming. I had a stomach bug that meant I didn't eat much at all for a week and lost half a stone and somehow kept the weight off - not the way I would recommend losing weight!

And then a parent at school suggested we did a local Race for Life, and that got me running. It was quite social when I joined a club and I enjoyed it. Since then I have also got into outdoor bootcamp type classes and my physique has changed.

But it doesn't have to be running - you could look for a local Breeze ladies cycling group, or look for aerobics or Zumba classes, hula hooping etc. It might be worth posting in a local Facebook group to see what's out there and if there's anything you fancy. In the meantime, try walking. Even if you can only get out for 15 minutes a day (it's more difficult this time of year when it gets dark so early) it will make a difference.

I wouldn’t describe myself as “sporty”. I’m not competitive, or interested in team things (you aren’t supposed to admit to that, are you). I enjoy running, because I love being outdoors, and having the time and space to breathe and think. It doesn’t feel like “sport” to me. I love yoga. I don’t particularly like doing weights, but a couple of 20 minute sessions a week are bearable, I felt stronger and looked more toned really quickly after I started, and actually the endorphins do kick in now. So I really agree with everyone saying how important it is to try different things until you find something you enjoy. Doesn’t matter what other people think or whether it’s the “best” exercise you can do- if you enjoy it enough to keep doing it, it’s good for you.

@JammyThing Are you me?

There are a surprising number of options for us non-sporty non-team types. I prefer non-competitive activities where I can start very crap and just try to get a little bit better over time. Here are some of my efforts over the years....

Couchto5K (which didn't work out for me but I did enjoy it)

Tai Chi. There was a fashion for it 30 years ago. You can start at any age, learn in a group and practice by yourself. I've picked it up again after a 25 year gap. Very good for balance, flexibility, and condition. As a beginner it wont be very intense or cardio. I do a martial style which has more intense options later on.

Swimming. I don't like to swim for too long because my eyes sting but half an hour swimming slowly up and down the pool is OK.

Daily walk is good. I used my hour outdoors in lockdown for a brisk walk up a steep hill.

I have used a gym though I find it totally boring. Don't worry about being too old etc, my local gym is full of older unfit unhealthy people who've been told by our doctors we have to make an effort.

Dancing is good for balance and co-ordination as well as general mobility. I've done a few rounds of dance lessons.

But don't be me and end up with bloody osteoporosis. I know I need to start building up more strength so I'm doing exercises off the osteoporosis society website. May move on to weights but I worry about spraining something.

Hope you find something to enjoy!

For me walking really helped. Briskly, headphones on.
I then added swimming and tap dancing.
Now joined a gym.

If you like swimming that's a great way to exercise. I try to go a couple of times a week

Swimming is a great sport and good for cardio, but it won't help protect against osteoporosis because there is no impact/resistance doing it. If you can swim and add weight training twice a week that would be ideal.

I just want to add the perspective that some of us do have health conditions that make certain exercise hard. I loved to run, but my autoimmune condition I've had since age 21 means joint damage to the extent I no longer can. I walk, swim, strength train and keep bmi in range but we can't all be as mobile as we'd like and it can be a fine line between encouraging others and judging others.

@JammyThing I did the well-trodden route of downloading the NHS Couch25K app and working my way up to Parkrun. Both are free so you can dabble and see if you like it.

@JammyThing I am rubbish at sport and hated exercise before my late 40s. I don't like dance or zumba either. I was slim enough, so I had no motivation.

But I discovered I love walking to a podcast, and I can walk for hours. It's free, I can do it anytime, and it clears my head. I also swim twice a week.