AIBU to think the pressure for ‘older’ women to exercise is wrong?

[StitchInLime]

So as a woman in my late 40s, I keep getting told (via ads, from some people in my life, via tv and so on) that I need to do strength exercises and cardio if I don’t want to suffer later in life. And yet, it’s the woman I know who did f-all exercise at my age and before who seem to be thriving in their 60s/70s (eg my aunts) and the ones who did more exercise at my age now have issues with knees, hips etc. I find it difficult to find the motivation in light of this. If you have opposite examples, please share as I really need to motivate myself!

What does exercise have to do with Botox or lip filler?

Absolutely this. My mum is the same. I'm late 40s and also top end BMI trying to bring it down hoping to follow my mum's example.

I have lost about a stone since Feb ( put a couple of pounds on recently sadly). I'm not a strict low carber I've never managed to go into keto for example. But by avoiding bread, potatoes and sugar I actually feel a lot better as I don't get mid afternoon slumps.
I'm eating more healthily as I have a salad for lunch with lots of different items and make sure I get a good amount of protein.

It may not be for everyone, but it has certainly helped me in a way that calorie cutting or moderation didn't seem to.

But again on the weight. Beyond a certain point lower is not better as makes you more at risk of osteoporosis in later life.

I'm in my 40s and have been doing a fair bit of exercise since my early 30s. Started with mostly aerobic (running and swimming) and some bodyweight strength, and now I'd say it's 50/50 aerobic and strength training in the gym. I'd be lying if I said looking good wasn't a big motivation, I'm not naturally thin, gain weight very easily, love my food, and have a sedentary job, so if I didn't exercise I'd be huge. But the health aspect is probably becoming more important as I get older. My mother is amazing - walks miles, has a huge amount of energy in her 80s, but she's never done any strength training and her posture and balance is terrible, so my greatest concern for her is falls and broken bones. My father wasn't at all active, very sedentary life, drove everywhere, overweight. Spent his final years with carers and family helping him go to the toilet, wash etc, having to be helped up off the floor when he (often) fell, basically confined to the house and only going out for medical appointments.

If I live to a grand old age, I want to do that with my independence and dignity intact, having as much fun as possible. So if I fall, I have the core muscles to get up by myself. If I need the toilet, I can walk there and pull my own knickers up and down instead of having to be helped onto a commode. If I want to go out to an event, it doesn't involve trying to recruit someone to help get me in and out of the car at either end. I know there are no guarantees in life, but you do what you can to set your own course.

Wrt the weights, no 3kgs is not enough.

I think the expectations for how much women can lift is so wildly underestimated, to our detriment. I would see being able to squat and deadlift your body weight and lift 20kgs clean over your head as a minimum tbh.

Ha

Squatting with 50 to 60kg is not at all necessary and o doubt that many women could ever do that

The rule is - work till you feel you can't do more - that could be 8 reps at a high weight or 20 at a lighter weight

If you find after 3 sets of 20 you don't feel like you are struggling then you should increase the weights to get more benefits

But even if you never go above 3kg you will always have more muscles than those people who never use any weights !

Every year I resolve to lift weights at home, and every year I fail. Going to try again in 2024.

Don't wait till 2024

Strat now with body weight squats and the like and you'll be ahead of the game come January !

A few squats whilst waiting for the kettle to boil ? Press ups against the kitchen workbench ?

You really don't have to lift heavy weights. I use light weights and multiple repetitions. It's better to do that than have a completely unrealistic goal. Start small.

Anything is better than nothing, particularly if you are doing it frequently.

Definitely light weights at first in front of Strictly! I also like the idea of lifting while waiting for the dishwasher to finish its cycle or the kettle to boil, as I WFH most days and can fit it in.

Running is not bad for you and is not bad for your joints. I do wish people would stop making claims they have no evidence for.

As I said above, moderation is key. I don't think marathon running is sensible, but there is no problem with running 30-60 minutes three times a week.

I think the expectations for how much women can lift is so wildly underestimated, to our detriment. I would see being able to squat and deadlift your body weight and lift 20kgs clean over your head as a minimum tbh

I've been doing strength work for about 7 years now and there is no way I could lift some of the weights other women do. I'm just not very strong (though way better than I was, and have decent muscle definition). On the other hand I can run faster and longer than most women my age, so it's swings and roundabouts.

Exercise is good for mental health as well as physical health, especially as you get older and are going through the menopause. I find it helps me enormously and on days when I don't do anything I feel like crap. I honestly don't understand people who don't do any exercise.

I’ve not read 16 pages of this thread.

YABU OP, it is well known that consistent weight bearing exercise is beneficial for maintaining and supporting post menopausal women’s bone health and reducing the risk of osteoporosis and hip fractures which are life threatening in older people. It’s not about the aesthetics, it’s about the functionality and keeping your body systems functioning as optimally as possible for as long as possible.

“There’s terrible pressure to give up smoking… my gran smoked 20 a day and lived to 90” YABVVU

There are mountains of evidence about exercise. It's good for you at any age.

All things in moderation - if you run marathons all the time and overdo it, it can strain your joints and cause injuries and problems.

Really I think we've lost a lot from everything becoming so car-focused. If everyone walked or cycled more, carried shopping a bit, did some housework at a pace that gets you in a puff - we'd be the better for it. The best exercise is the exercise that's built into your daily routine so much you don't even notice it.

Do a bit of exercise, stay in shape and don’t die young… Who wants to be 50 and fat x

I think getting 120-150 minutes of exercise a week with a heart rate of 80-125 is really useful for cardiac health and general muscle maintenance. I don't think it matters if this is 30 mins a day or a long walk twice a week. I don't thinking it matters what type of exercise it is either. I probably wouldn't do running on a treadmill but a dance class or a walk is a great way of keeping healthy.

Too many replies to read through so sorry if this has been covered.

When I started working for my current organisation, it was as a coordinator for a project supporting older people to improve their general health and wellbeing. We provide coaching interventions and we help connect them to the right supports to maintain their independence for longer and we work in partnership with Health & Social Care. It's heartbreaking to see to number of older people who have a long battle to regain some of their health and independence when it would have been different if they'd had better access to information 10/20 years ago.

The fact is that genetics and luck do play a part; we all know the older person who smokes 40 a day and drinks like a fish but is still going strong in their 90's but the reality is that it isn't the norm. Movement and exercise are important. The less active you are, the more prone you are to physical health problem and, when that sets in, it's much harder to manage. Once mobility becomes an issue, the instinct is to move less which is actually worse and just causes atrophy.

Exercise and fitness isn't a guarantee that nothing will go wrong as you get older but it gives you a huge advantage and, if things do go wrong, it leaves you with a better change of being able to manage it without losing your mobility or independence completely.

I get what you mean about people who were active and did plenty of exercise and ended up with bad knees and hips but that's more likely because they were doing the wrong exercise or not doing it properly. Everyone needs to find the thing that works for them. People seem to go wild for running/jogging because it's accessible but it can actually cause of a lot of issues if you're doing it with bad form or even shoes that don't suit your body. We have a lot more variety now and much better access to information to find the things that work for us.

It's not just about exercise, it's about having a good balance of an active life with plenty of meaningful connections. You don't need to become an athlete, you just need to find the things that work for you and that you can fit into your life.

Depends what you mean by strength training. Going to gym lifting weights etc. ?
My mum is in her 70s and in great shape , doesn't go to gym, running, cycling or any other traditional exercise. However, she cleans like a demon, walks everywhere and dances like nobody's watching (even when people are...) She also lugs furniture around when she gets bored and wants a change (even though we ask her to wait until we come round so we can help).
So really my mum probably does her fair share of exercise but it wouldn't be labelled as such.

It makes absolute sense that exercise is better for you than inactivity - it makes you feel better, stronger, as you get older it's good for your circulation, core strength and balance (so less likely to fall).
What I think it quite sad is the attitude of 'So I have to join a gym and lift weights? Well bugger that!' where everyone, if they put their mind to it, could probably think of something they would enjoy doing. There are walking versions of so many sports now, if you're not up to the full version - football, netball, or something like pickle ball which is a lighter form of tennis but still great fun - or learning to dance is good exercise, as is gardening if you do it often enough.
Personally, I find sport, rather than the gym or classes, more fulfilling, as well as being social and more enjoyable... I play tennis and I'd literally rather be doing that than any other activity, active or sedentary, that I can think of. At the same time, you'd have to drag me kicking and screaming to a spin class, but that's OK.
I think people who see exercise as a chore maybe just haven't found the right thing for them - it's worth looking around for something beyond the gym and the school PE mindset of 'having to do exercise' and just find the an activity that becomes a real hobby and part of your life rather than something to force yourself to do.

@Rokerwriter Totally agree. When I put on a lot of weight, I didn't feel fit enough to do anything too strenuous - mostly because I thought feeling like a broken, sweaty mess would demotivate me. I concentrated on working up to 10,000 steps a day at first. Now I'm finally at the stage where I can do something more challenging, I couldn't imagine anything worse than joining a gym. I'm big and broad and so many people are telling me I would be great at weights... Just because something's good for your health or it's something you would likely be good at, doesn't mean you'll actually enjoy it. If you break it down into cardio and strength, there are so many ways you can get the outcome you're looking for. We're in an age where we have so much information but it can be overwhelming and people end up pushed down the route of what's popular or trendy.

I started swimming and now I'm looking at learning to play badminton. I'm even considering roller derby.

Incidentally, the amount of older people in the pool since I started going is incredible. 70 year old men/women who are outswimming the younger ones.

Maintaining muscle as you age by strength training is so important. More publicly is now being done about it and it’s about time as well.