AIBU to think the pressure for ‘older’ women to exercise is wrong?

[StitchInLime]

So as a woman in my late 40s, I keep getting told (via ads, from some people in my life, via tv and so on) that I need to do strength exercises and cardio if I don’t want to suffer later in life. And yet, it’s the woman I know who did f-all exercise at my age and before who seem to be thriving in their 60s/70s (eg my aunts) and the ones who did more exercise at my age now have issues with knees, hips etc. I find it difficult to find the motivation in light of this. If you have opposite examples, please share as I really need to motivate myself!

I exercise a lot in my 40s and have always done something through adulthood. My knees were in better condition after my marathon than they were as a teenager after DoE expeditions. I'm fitter than I was when I was half my age.

I lost my dad in his early 50s to heart disease that was aggravated by being sedentary, stressed and overweight. Giving up smoking after a heart attack at 48 wasn't enough to undo the damage.

DM is in her mid-80s now. Her life has been a bit more active with housework and childraising, but she's spent the past 20 years being restricted by osteoarthritis. She broke her arm slipping on ice in her late 50s, and her leg slipping on a wet path in her 60s. Her mum (who was born 110 years ago) didn't do anything beyond essential movement in a generation where life was still manual. She lived to 90, but from my memories in her 70s onwards, she always had that frail, stooped old lady look and was pretty much housebound for her last 15 years or so.
MiL in contrast managed to remain functionally active until her late 80s. An underlying condition caused her final decline, but it was only the last few years when frailty set in. In her 70s and early 80s she busied around and commented on "old people" that were younger than her who had generally given in to an old mentality.

Exercise (and diet) is no magic solution and I don't want to live forever anyway, but having a maternal line that lives longer than average (a lot of relatives have made it into their 90s), I want to live well through my life and not spend the last quarter wasting away.

I enjoy outdoor and social exercise and that has a huge amount of mental benefits as well as the physical. Even if some random curveball ailment gets me, I'm living well and enjoying what my body does for me. Being in my 40s, I'm seeing the gap open up between friends that have healthier lifestyles and those who don't. DH thought he was doing fine then got a shock when doing an outdoor activity and finding it much harder than he expected. He's improved his regularity at the gym, and while not being "A Runner" has started going to parkrun regularly and is really noticing the benefits and feeling more energetic generally.

I don't know what the future holds, but maintaining my bone mass, building muscle mass and keeping a strong cardiovascular system is the best way to enjoy life and delay the onset of poor health as much as is viable.

Almost 60 here , I have a dog to walk plus a large house to keep clean ( no help at all ) I’m also an unpaid carer for disabled family member and a PoA for another one .
My weight is slap bang in the middle of ideal BMI .
I am often told I look a lot younger than I am which is nice but I don’t really mind about that , not bothered really ( it’s just genetics plus I don’t drink and have never smoked / sunbathed / used sunbeds. )
I do have some concerns as I don’t feel as strong as I used to ?
need to work on that I guess if I can find the time / energy !
I am way more active than my mum was at same age !

I think people who see exercise as a chore maybe just haven't found the right thing for them - it's worth looking around for something beyond the gym and the school PE mindset of 'having to do exercise' and just find the an activity that becomes a real hobby and part of your life rather than something to force yourself to do

I totally agree. There is so much on offer, you just need to try things out until you find something you like.

Also, you may fall out of love with one form of exercise and take up something different. That's ok too. I now do less running and more outdoor fitness bootcamp type classes because I think the overall fitness is better for me in my 50s than only running.

I agree OP, most of my friends who did plenty of exercise in their teens and 20s as recommended are now needing knee replacements, ankle surgery etc. I do what feels good for my body and ignore ‘official advice’.

Whereas I had severe knee damage due to ( bus related ) injury and the consultant was fairly certain I would never be able to do much ever again the damage was so bad

but they put me on the hospital physio program - and by the time I was in the advanced level that was a mixture of weight and cardio and here I am

The reason I proved the consultant wrong was simply that 80% of people don't do the physio

It's proven time and again that people who exercise have better knee health than those that don't

If you don't want to hear that I suggest you hide the thread rather than spread lies

I get the impression what's good for bone strength isn't always so good for joints. So if your only exercise is loads of running then you might knacker your knees but if your only exercise is gentle swimming you might get fragile bones.

The official advice I've seen doesn't look extreme, if you look past the sensationalised/garbled way it gets advertised or reported on TV etc or people promoting their own gym plans. Most of the NHS or health charity advice seems quite gentle and sensible, and more about making sure you get some of everything and understand what health benefits we get from different kinds and levels of exercise.

And everyday life does make a difference. Gardening and dancing are apparently very good for bones!

Can I ask how old you are? I'm just curious because I'm in my late 50s and when I was in my teens and twenties I didn't really exercise other than games such as hockey or netball at school. Neither did any of my friends. It just wasn't a thing and there weren't gyms in the way there are now. Although we walked a lot. I really only started running etc in my 30s.

I think the human body is pretty amazing, I want to keep it in good nick for as long as I can

I agree with finding something you enjoy. Of course it's disheartening if it's just one more thing on an endless "to do" list.

I'm 49 and currently love parkrun and long walks and cycling trips (I don't manage cycling as part of my regular routine) but that might evolve into a different set of enthusiasms over the next few years. It's fun!

Oh, and I'm kind of fat anyway but I can still feel joy in movement and being outside.

Yes the official advice is actually very sensible and certainly avoids putting undue stress on joints etc.

I started yoga at 50. Feel loads better, have lost 2 stone and haven't needed a physio for my back or shoulder since I started.

Wish I'd done it years ago to be honest x

I'm very late to this thread, but I'm in two minds about this whole question. I do a lot of exercise, comprising strength training and cardio and have had some great benefits from it - I'm relatively slim and fit for my age (mid-50s).

However, since the age of 50 (which was my fitness zenith, I think), I have picked up some annoying chronic injuries, which have left my shoulder with limited mobility, plus osteoarthritis in a couple of places. My fitness has suffered, and my lovely delts, biceps and triceps have atrophied somewhat as a result. It's very annoying. I often wonder whether I might have been better off just walking every day, and doing a couple of squats. I might still be able to fasten my bra without grimacing.
I think there is a big dose of luck involved in health in older age, which some people fail to acknowledge. And I agree that the social pressure can seem to be just a kind of body-shaming for a new life stage.

This.

People who were training decades ago wouldn't likely have been doing much strength training.

The “running is bad” narrative on this thread is really silly. There are any number of studies that demonstrate the benefits to both physical and mental health, and risk to joints isn’t even a minor factor unless you’re running long distances several times a week.

I've started running in my 50's as I'd seen some research about impact sports actually protecting against osteoporosis.
I've not had any hip or knee issues.

This is correct. Running and strength training can help prevent osteoporosis as they are impact sports. Yoga, swimming, walking, cycling, Pilates are not impact sports and won't help.
I'm fed up with the anti running narrative! It's very good for your cardiovascular system and if combined with strength training the risk of injury is greatly reduced.

Running is bad if your knees and ankles are fooked due to running in your 40's 🙁 Sadly I am restricted to swimming and spin now but reading the thread that's maybe not helping me.

I have to be careful with running due to hypermobile joints, but that’s not running’s fault. It just means it’s not necessarily the best exercise for me and my body.

Maybe it’s the ‘combined with’ that’s the important bit?

Running is good for loading the legs in particular but ideally for bone health you need to load all the bones in different directions, including the upper body. Impact/weight bearing exercise is useful but anything you do that is putting stress on the bones by exerting the muscles will help to develop them.

The problem with running is everybody thinks you can do it in your everyday trainers.
Actually, yes, running regularly on a hard surface like a pavement WILL cause you issues such as shin splints, knee pain, etc if you haven't got decent footwear.

Running shoes should ideally be tailored to your individual gait, but off-the-peg well fitting ones will do.
I don't run, but I went into all this when trying and failing to do couch to 5K. I borrowed running shoes off a friend, thinking I would buy my own if I got into it (I hated it, never got past week 7 and agree with PP who said find something you love). But I did do a lot of research and the right footwear is important.

I agree. I'm a runner. Didn't start running until I was 45, still run now 7 years later. And I run long distance, nowhere nearly as fast but I run marathons. Running is good for my mental health, if I'm disregulated in anyway a run will always make me feel better.
I also do a lot of HIIT style workouts, again its what I enjoy. I like feeling like I couldn't do one more burpee. I may not be as quick as many of the 20 year old, but my form is good and I can out-endure the best of them.
I also kickboxing, because I like the challenge and I lift up heavy things.
I don't do any of this for any reason than I enjoy it.

If people want to run and are worried about the impact on their joints, get off the pavements if you can and onto the trails. It's a lot more fun, the surfaces are softer and it's better for developing balance and core strength.

Running is good for my mental health, if I'm disregulated in anyway a run will always make me feel better.

Fully agree. I used to run marathons and having those training hours on my own really gave me a proper opportunity to think stuff through, hash out solutions to problems and generally be away from all distractions. Even though I might have been physically fatigued post run mentally I was in a much better place. I row these days and I have the same experience when out in my single scull.