SIL uninvited DCs to party

[Cocoadoodle]

SIL is having a big birthday party tomorrow night. It’s family and friends and has been booked for ages at a local venue with bar, disco.
Family are coming from different parts of the country, with some staying at other local family members homes and some staying in hotels.
We have 2 DCs, so SILs niece and nephew. DD 10, DS 7
This morning she’s nonchalantly messaged me saying oh no, just found out after speaking to the venue that kids aren’t allowed. I asked her weeks ago and she said they were! My DC are so excited to celebrate their aunts birthday and see their cousins/other kids from extended family, and now they can’t go and she doesn’t seem to give two shits! They’re going to be gutted.
Cousin (in law) is driving over after school tonight to stay at ours with her kids for the weekend, and SIL hasn’t even bothered to tell them that their kids are now not invited.
I know I’m not being U, but what are we supposed to do? Or maybe I am being U as it’s her party so she can do as she pleases.

Have a lovely evening @Cocoadoodle

Well we’re already here actually and so far everyone is having fun

Enjoy your time NOT at SIL's party @Cocoadoodle. Wonder how many people called off because of the kids not being able to attend? Sounds like you will be having a good evening regardless

OTT ? When SiL was specifically asked if kids were allowed and said they were. When she openly talked about the event in front of the kids, and even put them on the invitations. When plans had been made, and fancy dress outfits bought ? She had weeks to sort this out and didn’t - what’s OTT is the fact that she doesn’t give a shit about the inconvenience and disappointment she’s caused.

10 years ago I was notified just weeks beforehand that my daughter (about 10 years old) wasn’t allowed to attend my neice’s 21st birthday party coz of venue license restrictions.

As it was 30 miles away and DH was meant to be driving us there & back, it made it logistically difficult for me to attend alone, plus I didn’t really want to go without my family. I was really Cheesed off about situation plus late notice, but without on-hand babysitters we were stuck.

I think you’ve really been screwed over, having paid out for costumes & gotten your DC excited over the party. You will probably need some time to get over this, so give your scatty Sil a wide berth for a while. Her party is probably going to be pants 🩲 now - serves her right!

She has. And she’s not.

Just be careful you don't get stuck with family babysitting for everyone's kids, because "OP is staying home anyway, so SIL said it would be fine to drop them.off with you..." Make plans to be GONE somewhere with your own kids while the event takes place. And don't tell her where. Sometimes more trouble is caused by self centered stupidity than intentional malice.

If you think the OP is choosing to be offended after SiL has confirmed kids were allowed, invited them and actually talked about the party in front of them, and then had to - yes, uninvite them at the last minute - because she’s clearly not checked that the venue actually allows kids, then you really need to give your head a wobble.

Then why were the kids included on the invitations and why did SiL talk about the things they had planned in front of them ?

I would be very very pissed off if I'd rented fancy dress, arranged travel and hotel, and then told at the last minute the kids couldn't attend.

She talked up the event to the children and even put their names on the invitations. What part of that is difficult to understand ?

Excellent update!

It’s not a party for the children. They’re not the reason or the focus here. Parents don’t understand sometimes that the universe doesn’t evolve around their children.

What does she expect people to do?

This is such short notice to organise childcare, even if people (adults) were till prepared to turn up and celebrate with her. You can't just leave a small pack of young children to go feral in one of the houses, for heaven's sake!

I can't believe she is such an absolute dipstick!

@MissyPea - Which bit of "the children were invited by name on the invitation" do you not understand?

Had people known that the kids weren't able to go they would have made arrangements for them. It's not a matter of expecting the world to revolve around your children - it's a matter of being told to bring them, the children getting all excited and hyped up, and then at the last minute being told they aren't allowed.

If I cared about my 10 and 7 year old I’d be worried about them as well. They were named on the invitations, SiL talked up the event in front of them, and they had fancy dress costumes ready. Of course they weren’t peripheral to the event, they were part of it, and it follows that they would be disappointed. SiL may not be required to offer a solution, but the least she could have done was checked that the venue took children, before actually inviting them. I’d be furious.

Hope you all (including DH) manage to have lovely evenings at your respective locations! But very late notice from SIL. I cant believe the venue weren't explicit on that (as it seems to be their rule) when she booked.

I hope the DC all have a lovely time at their party.

Your sil sounds thoughtless but I don't think it was intentional.

Agree with this, but can understand why some of the adults may be put out - if you were planning to travel on your own with kids to the party from quite far away, bought outfits, potentially booked time off work if a weekend worker etc then that would be really fucking annoying.

SIL really can't complain if quite a few people can't make it, it's her own fault for being a brainless eejit.

I wouldn’t go.

Even if unintentional, SIL was being a lazy arse at best and it is very much OK for people who have made (sometimes elaborate) arrangements to attend her party to be pissed off. And to tell het so.

That was quite a read. Did anybody else conclude that Silly SIL's mistake would have been entirely avoidable, had she adequately researched the party venue ? Also noted some mean-spirited comments about the party not being for the children so to hell with their feelings. They, along with all the adults, were invited guests. That's what matters.

I hope the OP and her entourage at least have an enjoyable evening and SIL manages to salvage something positive from the shitshow.

God who wants a load of other peoples young kids at their evening birthday event anyway? Very odd.

Don't be so rude.