Sister has started shoplifting

[Ahhifollowifollowyoudeepseababy]

She says it happened by accident at first, her young dc was in the front of the shopping trolley, her large bag in the actual trolley. Some items forgotten under the bag as she went through the cashier bit, loading the other things and rushing about, trying to pack and stop her dc from messing about/facing a tantrum. She says she realised afterwards that there were items under her bag, she said this happened a couple of times and now she can’t help but casually now put some things under the bag, face creams, meat etc. She’s a professional, degree educated early 40’s woman, they are ok financially but finding things harder. What will happen to her if caught? Why can’t she seem to stop now? She’s never been in trouble for anything in her life, it’s very out of character for her. She claims if caught, she’ll say it’s by accident and she didn’t realise when sorting her dc out.

Nothing will happen if she gets caught. She'll say it was an accident, then she'll go back through the till to pay for them.

Shops are getting wise to this now. They might be happy to let her pay but they might be just as likely to call the Police. She could easily end up with a (deserved) criminal record.

But she'll go on their 'watch list' and probably have security guards closely following her around every time she goes into the shops.

They won't care if she's a degree-educated professional; to them, she's just another thief.

Not the kind of experience most honest shoppers would relish.

With CCTV everywhere it would be weird if she is not taught, criminals are getting braver but hopefully staff are too

I was once in a shop and there was a guy who removed most of the contents of 2 shelves into a large bag I could have fitted in was about half full. There was a voice in the sky saying we have you in CCTV. None of the staff approached him I believe something similar had happened weeks earlier and the staff member got a load of verbal abuse from the conversations I heard whilst there.

If she does it in the same way every time it is likely to be noticed and I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't do anything until they can demonstrate that it's habitual.

How is she doing generally? It's not unheard of for shoplifting to crop up alongside mental health conditions/ when a person is struggling mentally they can start behaving in uncharacteristic ways. There was a woman's hour episode in the summer about women with obsessive shoplifting. It was illuminating and might be worth a listen

Our local Aldi check under your bags in your trolley before you pack, they say they have a massive problem with shoplifting. It's only a matter of time before she gets caught.
Is she ok otherwise? Menopause messes up a lot of feelings, it may be that she's going through some weird changes in her body/brain. I'm menopausal and have weirdly felt the urge to steal something a few times recently but have resisted the urge! Kind of weird though.

She is a thief. You know this. Are you going to do anything about it, or will you remain complicit?
Granted, shoplifting may not seem a big crime in the scheme of things, but criminality is criminality, particularly as she does not need to shoplift

Please don’t think of reporting her

Nah no excuse she deserves to get caught and fined or whatever. It's skanks like that, that contribute to food price hikes. I'd advise her to stop or you'd tell the store and police.

Apparently it's a big thing among middle aged middle class women for a cheap
Thrill. So odd.

If she claims she didn't t notice it was under her bag they can go and look at the cctv and. Disprove her. She should be v careful

Where I work we have a radio that's connected to the local shops.
When a known shoplifter comes into town, they're passing information all the way down the line.
There's a reasonable chance she's already known, and they're waiting for her to do a certain size one so they can pounce and increase the likelihood of prosecution.
The police are also on the radio and they do act, and work with the shops to catch prolific ones.

Sounds like Kleptomania which is a mental health disorder. I’d advise her to get some counseling for this.

It probably gives her a buzz to think she has ' gotten away ' with it or she has a freebie but it's stealing pure and simple. If found out she could be banned from the shop which is obviously a big inconvenience . She is also putting up prices for the rest of us, so thanks for that.

If she genuinely can't stop, can she afford therapy? This kind of risk taking behaviour doesn't come out of nowhere.

Nothing will happen to her though if she's caught stealing at that level. So crack on anyone that fancies a pop at the supermarkets 😘😉

Have you noticed anything else unusual about her recently OP? I know this is probably nothing at all related to what's happening with your sister, but I know someone who suddenly started shoplifting and it was the beginning of their first bipolar manic episode.

I do not what would happened but getting caught would be highly embarrassing 😳

Telling you has to be a cry for help

There’s no way in the world I would report my own sister, for those saying to report her, would you really do that?

She’s possibly peri, I know I am, but not sure if she’s there as much as me, she seems the same as always, no other issues. She says she has to stop but that it’s saving her money and things have been tougher financially. She knows it’s wrong and I’ve said she has to.

Is this really a known thing amongst middle class, middle aged women for the thrill of it? I’d never heard that or heard of anyone doing it

Would it always be a mental health issue causing it? I’m worried

Why? She has a good job, she’s not on the breadline stealing bread.

I’m not saying OP should report her but someone will hopefully see the grotty thief and report her.

holy trinity, certainly its not worth the risk, if col is high then theres always supermarket branded items and other cost reduction methods, unless all those methods have been tried then there is no excuse for stealing (and there should not be an excuse anyway) @Ahhifollowifollowyoudeepseababy

Any chance she has ADHD? Shoplifting and getting away with it can give a dopamine buzz which is what people with ADHD crave.

also I’m intrigued to know how and why she told you. Was she upset or ashamed? Or is she proud of herself for getting some freebies? Her reaction and how she shared the info may go some way to telling you about her motivation.

@Guibhyl Definitely not showing off, ashamed, embarrassed, wants to stop/understand why she’s carrying on doing it. She did also say she was surprised at how easy it is.

@Guibhyl I wouldn’t think she has Adhd

I’ve heard of some shops building up evidence for multiple instances before confronting someone so she may find gets charged for loads at once. I really would warn her about that. It’s not worth losing her job over.

Sounds like it is nothing more than she made a genuine mistake got away with it and now finds it a game. She won't stop until she is caught. Just never go shopping with her.