Sister has started shoplifting

[Ahhifollowifollowyoudeepseababy]

She says it happened by accident at first, her young dc was in the front of the shopping trolley, her large bag in the actual trolley. Some items forgotten under the bag as she went through the cashier bit, loading the other things and rushing about, trying to pack and stop her dc from messing about/facing a tantrum. She says she realised afterwards that there were items under her bag, she said this happened a couple of times and now she can’t help but casually now put some things under the bag, face creams, meat etc. She’s a professional, degree educated early 40’s woman, they are ok financially but finding things harder. What will happen to her if caught? Why can’t she seem to stop now? She’s never been in trouble for anything in her life, it’s very out of character for her. She claims if caught, she’ll say it’s by accident and she didn’t realise when sorting her dc out.

@MrsMarzetti Would I get implicated if I went with her?

Why do you think she’ll never stop and why is it a game to her?

Is this actually true? I also read this on Reddit but it’s always a friend of a friend or that ‘someone heard’ but I have never know it in real life.

Don't blame having light fingers on the menopause ffs.

@Ahhifollowifollowyoudeepseababy if they have her on cctv putting the items under the bag - or the plain cLothes store detectives catch her - she’ll be allowed to go through checkouts etc and stopped upon trying to exit the store.

shell be escorted somewhere private. She’ll be informed that they watched her.

she’ll be informed that the police have been informed and are in the way.

the police will issue an official warning and possibly a fine from them or the store.

she will be banned from the store and possibly others.

a letter will be sent to her home…

the information may be shared informally with other local shops as managers and staff talk.

And let’s hope she isn’t doing it in a shop in a small town where people she may know work there… word gets around.

and once it goes public you’ll also be labelled as the woman who’s sisters a thief and possibly tarred with same brush..

There was something on C4 Steph's packed lunch about this this week, might be worth showing her the clip. It was about a woman who previously shoplifted, and now she had turned her life around and was helping the police to catch shoplifters. It's true that police/ security staff build up evidence about someone's shoplifting before approaching them and potentially banning them or giving them a criminal record. It was really interesting!

I doubt it’s any sort of serious mental health issue, maybe an element of unhappiness, discontent, boredom etc. or it could just be plain old temptation, I’ve been tempted before in shops with how easy it would be to walk out with something instead of paying for it, I’ve not done it but it’s a thin line to cross.

I'd be concerned that if she's doing it regularly in a particular store then they might have recordings of her doing it multiple times and she won't be able to claim it was a single act of forgetfulness. Whether stores actually do that, I don't know (but Transport for London definitely do it with habitual fare dodgers).

Is she using a loyalty card during checkout? Cos she's literally giving the store her name and address when she shoplifts.

Is it just the men's prisons that are overcrowded and criminals aren't serving sentences of less than 6 months, or women's prisons too?

Maybe point out that getting a visa for the USA will be difficult with a criminal record, if she has any desire to ever go there on holiday.

I would tell her that shops are using facial recognition software, some are, and ask why she is risking her job/marriage/reputation/whatever is more important for her by stealing?

Is she bored with her life and this brings a bit of a thrill / excitement into it, she is probably getting an adrenaline rush from getting away with it which can be very addictive.

It really is only a matter of time before she is caught, they could already be watching her as there are only a limited number of ways for people to shoplift and I’m sure security personnel know of them all

@Kittenkitty If it’s upsetting her and she’s ashamed but is doing it anyway then I’d say it definitely is a sign of a mental health problem. It implies her behaviour is involuntary almost like an addiction. That is not a sign of someone with good mental health.

There is no way on this earth that I would accompany a known shoplifter into shops. If she gets caught, you could well be a suspect too. There is a high likelihood that you would also be identified as a potential shoplifter. Do you want that?

Yes you would. And why would you want to go in any shop with her ever if she’s stealing?

Many of us are on low incomes or struggling a bit. We budget, we buy cheaper brands, buy reduced food etc. But we do not steal, even worse to steal with your child with you. I’d rather pay twice for something than for someone to think I would steal.

Not necessarily. If she is filmed stealing, that story won't work.

Ask her if she's prepared to accept the risk of losing her job and her career. Money will be more than tight in that event.

Talk to her and make her see she'll get caught and have to face the embarrassment and shame of people knowing she's a thief. Stores often don't approach a thief. They just keep the CCTV film until they have enough film to show this is her habitual behaviour when shopping in their store. Then they'll prosecute. She could end up arrested by police and charged if there is enough evidence and a court appearance. She'll be banned from using their store.

If you are shopping with her suspicion will be on you too. Don't shop with her.

When people say they can't stop, they can they just don't want to. All they have to do is take the shopping to the till pay and leave.....not hard. People need to stop making excuses and blaming any stage if menopause. I'm menopausal and don't go round nicking things. We shouldn't be making excuses for poor behaviour.

Don't go shopping with her.

I've read on other threads that shopkeepers are frustrated that the police do not come out to shoplifting incidents any more.

It's definitely true that the store can build evidence of her repeatedly shoplifting, they have CCTV of all of the aisles so might have picked her up on that already.

Is she taking orders?

Does this actually happen? It would mean someone watching the cctv, and coincidentally choosing to watch her, track her round the shop putting things into the trolley and then unloading them onto the belt, and spotting that she'd left an item under her bags in the bottom of the trolley.

I've never stolen anything but this makes me paranoid, and like I want to really obviously and clearly scan every item with the handheld scanner. Like "look at me! I'm scanning the packet!" in case on some cctv it looks like I've not scanned something.

Definitely don’t go to shops with her as WhoWants2Know suggests.

There's an Asda near me and a couple of times I've seen security stop someone at the till and walk them through the store to the offices. Everyone knows what's going on when that happens. Ask her how she'd feel if there were people she knew in the store when she was being marched to the offices. It would be really humiliating.

@Sunday12 Do you condone crime then?
Should any crime remain unreported? Will you not be screaming for the police if you or a member of your family is a victim of crime?
Ridiculous

@erikbloodaxe Taking orders for what?