Sister has started shoplifting

[Ahhifollowifollowyoudeepseababy]

She says it happened by accident at first, her young dc was in the front of the shopping trolley, her large bag in the actual trolley. Some items forgotten under the bag as she went through the cashier bit, loading the other things and rushing about, trying to pack and stop her dc from messing about/facing a tantrum. She says she realised afterwards that there were items under her bag, she said this happened a couple of times and now she can’t help but casually now put some things under the bag, face creams, meat etc. She’s a professional, degree educated early 40’s woman, they are ok financially but finding things harder. What will happen to her if caught? Why can’t she seem to stop now? She’s never been in trouble for anything in her life, it’s very out of character for her. She claims if caught, she’ll say it’s by accident and she didn’t realise when sorting her dc out.

So far I only see defensive replies from OP. I personally wouldn't report anyone for theft as I do not want to involve myself, particularly if there's a chance I was wrong.

But I sure as hell wouldn't associate with someone who steals, including my own family. It's not the theft itself that bothers me, or even breaking the law, it's the entitled mindset. If they were desperate and needed to eat, I'd buy it for them in that moment but if it was a pattern of behaviour they are on their own.

Honestly I work in a shop and eventually the staff will twig and start following her around and as a pp said will inform other shops.

Does she really want shop staff to think she's a thieving junkie skank because that's what we think even the "middle class" ones that do it. And the "forgot" excuse is never believed. We just tell them they're banned.

She is getting an adrenaline buzz out of doing this , she sounds like she has an addictive personality.

If she's been at it for a while her behaviours will have been clocked by retail staff. Shoplifters have certain methods and behaviour that sticks out a mile. She will get caught, she has to be lucky all the time the shop has only to be lucky once.

This is why meat and cosmetics are often security tagged.

This is so interesting. I am menopausal and I too have felt the urge to steal something when I’m doing the shopping. This is very unlike me and I haven’t but I keep thinking “I could just nick it and no-one would know”!

I’ve been caught accidentally shoplifting, it wasn’t particularly embarrassing. In my case I walked out of primark with some vest tops hooked over the pram handle. I just gave them back, apologised, and got on with my day.

I used to work in primark and it happened many times a day. They only really did anything if you tried to deny it.

I imagine that there are certain crimes you would grass them for?

How very dramatic. This isn't big brother believe it or not you aren't actually being watched with every move.

I really can’t square this thread with the threads that complain about shoplifters constantly getting away with blatant, unabashed stealing; there has more than one thread about people walking out of supermarkets with actual trolley loads of stolen stuff. In those threads, the feeling seems to be that the store can do nothing and the police will do nothing. But on here the message seems to be that the sister will get into terrible trouble. Can anyone explain why they think this woman will get in such trouble while others carry on regardless?

The OP is the sister, isn’t she?

TBH sometimes I feel like a mug as it appears everyone else is just waltzing out of shops without paying, so I can see why some people do it! I still wouldn’t shoplift though.

I’ve been caught accidentally shoplifting, it wasn’t particularly embarrassing. In my case I walked out of primark with some vest tops hooked over the pram handle. I just gave them back, apologised, and got on with my day.

I used to work in primark and it happened many times a day. They only really did anything if you tried to deny it.

I agree. I used to work in a baby shop and things being handed to a toddler in a pram was reasonably common. So the parent gives it to the child, tries to leave without paying, then says "oh I'm so sorry, I didn't realise they'd grabbed that!" It wouldn't have been particularly embarrassing for them.

We didn't believe them. But we also didn't do anything about it beyond taking the item. We had cctv, there were security guards in the shopping centre, but no one searched back through the cctv to show that actually the parent gave it to the child.

Sometimes they are watching like big brother though. The shop radio we have regularly has conversations along the lines of
A:2x IC1 female, with buggies. Known shoplifters entering M&S.
(99) getting CCTV up. Oh yes, it's Xxx. Have any items been taken?
M&S: We banned them last week. Asking them to leave.
B: They're coming along the mall towards Sainburies
C: Yes, I can see them. Going in Works.
(99) calling Works. Can you see them?
C: coming out again. They've got gift bag on the back of the buggy.
(Works) calling 99. Two IC1 females with buggy just took a gift bag
(99) they're under surveillance where did they go?
(Works) didn't see..
D: They're heading towards Painters Way
E: Passing us now by Body Shop
F: Gone into Boots.
(99) calling Boots
((Boots) got them They're round the gift section. Just seen them put something in the gift bag
(99)Value?
(Boots) £30/40?
(99) Yeah, that's worth it. Coming down.
(Boots) we've detained them at the exit. Thanks.

It's very entertaining.
But, yes, certain known shoplifters will be followed round town by the shopkeepers on the radio warning each other as they pass, and 99 watching on CCTV.

This is true. I used to sit in court and we would get cctv evidence of multiple occasions so it could not be dismissed as an accident.
They are probably already aware of her waiting and watching.
Yes, menopausal theft is quite common but they still get the same punishment and a criminal record.

Much is unlikely to happen but shoplifting in your sister's demographic is not unusual; professional 40s woman who takes a pointless risk.

As with anyone who does this, there is something at the bottom of this personally. Your sister doesn't need to do this and btw, she is exactly the kind of person who perversely does get prosecuted to set an example.

There is nothing better than a nice 40s woman of good standing being in the magistrates for rubbish like this. It is totally humiliating btw and so your sister should stop.

My friend's son was out and got a bad headache. He didn't have any money on him. He went into the supermarket and took a packet of paracetamol (less than £1 I think).

Security saw him and called the police!! He was taken to the police station and interviewed.

All they need to do now is find a way for the wonders of modern technology to somehow introduce copious quantities of laxatives into meat that are 'magically' and invisibly removed without trace, with lasers, at the point of payment.

That would blow the gaff on the 'professionals' having a dinner party, if they tried to impress their peers with what turned out to be obviously-nicked meat! With the price of bog roll these days, you'd probably end up no better off anyway

they'll most likely take: once they know you're a thief, they'll have your photo or identifying details up at the security point next to the entrance - then simply stop you from entering in the first place.

Ive only ever seen this once - it was in a service station.
Does it really happen a lot?

It's very much getting that way.

Just wait until we fully embrace the concept of social credit, as we're now seeing the beginnings of - you could be publicly shamed for leaving the supermarket with 'too much' alcohol, chocolate or fatty food, even if you've paid for it in full.

Not differentiating between theft and murder isn't the flex you think it is.

You may think it says that you're less likely to steal, but it also indicates you may be more likely to murder.

I worked as a receptionist for a psychiatrist who administered personality tests and he told me that employers who administer them as part of the hiring process will weed out the applicants who display such rigid, black and white thinking. Someone who would never, ever steal a pencil from the stationary cupboard are actually more likely to snap and embezzle thousands. In his words, "they're brittle."

The sister is less likely to have a knife?

Interesting. But I don’t quite buy it. If the stores have all this capacity to monitor cctv etc, they can surely use this to prosecute the repeat offenders who walk off with hundreds of pounds worth of stock? They don’t have to wrestle them to the ground there and then - they get all that digital evidence together just like pp are suggesting they might do to OP’s sister?

If people don't think a nice professional woman with light fingers has a fair bit to lose shoplifting then think again. She does.

She's also an easy mark compared to an average junky who does this stuff.

Kleptomania to a degree. It can be quite addictive when you get away with it (I've been there).
But she should have a mixture of lower and higher value items if she wants to pretend it's accidental and she 'forgot' when she gets caught, not only high end products. And don't do it in the same shop over and over, because they'll recognise her and build up evidence.