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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm going to hell aren't I? What the fuck

767 replies

BlackFriYay · 15/11/2023 16:54

9 ish months ago I was seeing somebody I really liked but was being messed around terribly by. I'm talking ghosting after sex repeatedly, blatantly using me for sex but claiming otherwise.. I suspected he had a girlfriend towards the end but didn't have any proof as he "doesn't do social media". (Lies). Champions league wanker behaviour basically.

I thought I was in love with him at the time and it took me months to get over once I finally decided to cut my losses and move on.

I did some work on my self esteem and when he came crawling back months later (a few weeks ago) and text me asking to see me realised I wasn't into him at all so I cheerily replied no thank you, I'm not interested. Yay for me. He said he was gutted bla bla bla. I didn't reply. Forgot all about him.

The other day it was my DD's birthday and I changed my Instagram picture to one of her when she was born. Unbeknownst to me he has been looking at my social media (which I don't have him as a friend on) and he's sent me an inbox this afternoon saying he has seen that picture and is having a meltdown because he thinks I've had a baby recently and wants to know if it's his!

Now obviously I'm not going to let the silly git think he has an actual child but AIBU to blank his message for a few days and let him see how he likes it 😂

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Night409 · 15/11/2023 18:31

BlackFriYay · 15/11/2023 18:21

Why should I have to second guess what I post incase somebody who claimed not to have social media sees it?

There is reaching and then there is what he has done.

I have never given him any suggestion whatsoever that I was pregnant let alone to him.

He shouldn't be looking on my social media in the first place. Play stupid games win stupid prizes 🤷🏼‍♀️

Show quote history

You know exactly what you’re doing, as do many of the PPs which is why they’re saying about telling him his name isn’t on the BC etc instead of just saying it’s not his.

Anyone who pretends they are pregnant or has had a baby by someone when they haven’t, is the lowest of the low.

If he had put up a scan photo or a wedding photo then you would assume he was recently married or having a baby.
If you were still together then this photo would affect you.

The fact that he’s trying to do the right thing, isn’t a bad thing.

You allowed him to treat you a certain way.
Don’t stoop so low to try and get him back for it.

RogersOrganismicProcess · 15/11/2023 18:32

This has proper tickled me! If he wasn’t a class A gobshite I’d almost feel sorry for him.

GrannyRose15 · 15/11/2023 18:32

I can’t see the joke myself. The poor man thinks he has a child no one has told him about. The letter appears perfectly reasonable and respectful. Mumsnet would be quick to condemn a man who didn’t respond to notification that the child was his so put him out of his misery.

MeinKraft · 15/11/2023 18:32

I think you should reply saying 'Christ no, the baby is my husbands. Didn't I tell you I was married?' Grin

mn29 · 15/11/2023 18:33

Just don’t reply - ever

rainbowsparkle28 · 15/11/2023 18:33

YANBU. Let him sit and sweat on it for a little bit 🙄😂

BigMadAndy · 15/11/2023 18:34

🤣🤣 Abso-fucking-lutely

Littlegoth · 15/11/2023 18:34

@Night409 It’s not revenge. It’s indifference.

Aswad · 15/11/2023 18:35

Is it too late to claim you have twins?

Original poster
BlackFriYay · 15/11/2023 18:36

Night409 · 15/11/2023 18:31

You know exactly what you’re doing, as do many of the PPs which is why they’re saying about telling him his name isn’t on the BC etc instead of just saying it’s not his.

Anyone who pretends they are pregnant or has had a baby by someone when they haven’t, is the lowest of the low.

If he had put up a scan photo or a wedding photo then you would assume he was recently married or having a baby.
If you were still together then this photo would affect you.

The fact that he’s trying to do the right thing, isn’t a bad thing.

You allowed him to treat you a certain way.
Don’t stoop so low to try and get him back for it.

Show quote history

As somebody that has had multiple miscarriages before finally having my children I find your accusation incredibly hurtful.

I have never and would never pretend to be pregnant.

If he had put up a scan photo or a wedding photo then you would assume he was recently married or having a baby.
If you were still together then this photo would affect you

The point is we are not together and haven't been for a long time so what I post on social media is absolutely none of his business and he should not be looking anyway.

If I went looking for him online and saw wedding pictures or whatever else I'd be minding my own business.

What makes you think his intentions are to do the right thing? I know the man reasonably well, If there was a new baby he would run for the hills the second I confirmed it.

OP posts:
littlebopeepp234 · 15/11/2023 18:36

Night409 · 15/11/2023 18:31

You know exactly what you’re doing, as do many of the PPs which is why they’re saying about telling him his name isn’t on the BC etc instead of just saying it’s not his.

Anyone who pretends they are pregnant or has had a baby by someone when they haven’t, is the lowest of the low.

If he had put up a scan photo or a wedding photo then you would assume he was recently married or having a baby.
If you were still together then this photo would affect you.

The fact that he’s trying to do the right thing, isn’t a bad thing.

You allowed him to treat you a certain way.
Don’t stoop so low to try and get him back for it.

Show quote history

She hasn’t pretended she has pregnant at all!! Get a life!! Oh and please point out where op has pretended she is pregnant!

chocorabbit · 15/11/2023 18:37

SlightlyJaded · 15/11/2023 18:23

Reply

I've just done the maths and I don't think so. Do you think she looks like you?

Perfect reply!

Do you think he's shitting himself because you could ask for maintenance?

littlebopeepp234 · 15/11/2023 18:38

GrannyRose15 · 15/11/2023 18:32

I can’t see the joke myself. The poor man thinks he has a child no one has told him about. The letter appears perfectly reasonable and respectful. Mumsnet would be quick to condemn a man who didn’t respond to notification that the child was his so put him out of his misery.

Well if the ‘poor man’ hadn’t kept treating op like shit and ghosting her all the time he would know what the picture is for! He chose to treat her like shit, op didn’t ask him to! It’s his problem if he’s ghosted and op and now thinks she ended up pregnant with his child. He shouldn’t be such an arse!!!

Original poster
BlackFriYay · 15/11/2023 18:38

chocorabbit · 15/11/2023 18:37

Perfect reply!

Do you think he's shitting himself because you could ask for maintenance?

Show quote history

More than likely 😂

OP posts:
Winnading · 15/11/2023 18:39

Theres a lot of naive women on here.

Hes doing this to get back in touch, hoping OP will reply and he can get talking again. He's wanting more sex and this is his only way of contacting OP right now. Get her back in the web. He really isnt stupid enough to believe this photo is of his child.

For OP block and ignore completely and forever.

ArthurbellaScott · 15/11/2023 18:39

317818we · 15/11/2023 18:18

If he's the sort of person you describe, I don't believe for one minute he thinks it is his.

I think it is blatant attempt to re-engage you in communication because you told him where to go.

In other words, an attempt to hoover you back up into his sex rotation.

I don't think he's sweating at all.

My advice ignore it 100% and don't reply. It will drive him insane - not because he thinks it is his baby but he couldn't get over that you weren't interested so he really will go mental if you aren't even responding.

All of that.

This guy is a loser. You don't want to be involved in his stupid, lying games. Block and move on, safe in the knowledge you are the better person. He is owed nothing at all, ignore him.

OriginalFloorboards · 15/11/2023 18:41

Ha I love this OP and no I’d just never reply full stop.

ArthurbellaScott · 15/11/2023 18:41

FWIW, YANBU at all, but this type of lying, manipulative shite puts all the red flags up. Even the suggestion that you 'should' respond in any way is part of it. Block, ignore, move on.

FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 15/11/2023 18:41

"Is that you Tony or Ahmed or Marco or Cristiano or Jurgen or Bruce?"

DarenthInterchange · 15/11/2023 18:41

He doesn't actually think you've had his child, it's just a way to get you to talk to him again after you knocked him back.

Just seen someone else has said the same as I was typing!

anybloodyname · 15/11/2023 18:42

backtowinter · 15/11/2023 17:03

I would reply "who is this?"

Then block

Love this !
I'll also join you in hell

Please next add a post seeking family law advice

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 15/11/2023 18:43

Night409 · 15/11/2023 18:16

But she’s implying and not denying which is just as bad.

Putting up a baby photo is no different to putting up a pregnancy test, scan photo, engagement ring etc. everyone would assume something.

He’s actually doing the right thing by making sure it’s not his baby.

Its very telling from some of these replies how low some women would stoop to just to get ‘revenge’.

Show quote history

She’s not implying she’s had a new baby at all by posting a photo of her child as a baby

everyone who knows her will know exactly why she’s selected that photo at this time.

That random snooping people don’t know why she’s posted it is their problem and not an implication on her part.

Night409 · 15/11/2023 18:44

BlackFriYay · 15/11/2023 18:36

As somebody that has had multiple miscarriages before finally having my children I find your accusation incredibly hurtful.

I have never and would never pretend to be pregnant.

If he had put up a scan photo or a wedding photo then you would assume he was recently married or having a baby.
If you were still together then this photo would affect you

The point is we are not together and haven't been for a long time so what I post on social media is absolutely none of his business and he should not be looking anyway.

If I went looking for him online and saw wedding pictures or whatever else I'd be minding my own business.

What makes you think his intentions are to do the right thing? I know the man reasonably well, If there was a new baby he would run for the hills the second I confirmed it.

Show quote history

If I went looking for him online and saw wedding pictures or whatever else I'd be minding my own business.

Of course not because you’re not together and so it doesn’t affect you.
You having his baby would affect him.

You have started a thread saying that your ex thinks you’ve had his baby and you’re wondering whether to let him keep believing it or not - why would anyone do that?!

You may not have messaged him and told him you are pregnant/have had his baby but you know that he thinks the baby could be his.
You cannot use the excuse that he shouldn’t be looking on your SM anyway.

Some of these replies are also encouraging you to imply that he is the father without using the actual words, which is beyond disgraceful.

MsFogi · 15/11/2023 18:45

Just respond with 'Can you please send me a sample of your DNA - a couple of inches of hair will do'.