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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm going to hell aren't I? What the fuck

767 replies

BlackFriYay · 15/11/2023 16:54

9 ish months ago I was seeing somebody I really liked but was being messed around terribly by. I'm talking ghosting after sex repeatedly, blatantly using me for sex but claiming otherwise.. I suspected he had a girlfriend towards the end but didn't have any proof as he "doesn't do social media". (Lies). Champions league wanker behaviour basically.

I thought I was in love with him at the time and it took me months to get over once I finally decided to cut my losses and move on.

I did some work on my self esteem and when he came crawling back months later (a few weeks ago) and text me asking to see me realised I wasn't into him at all so I cheerily replied no thank you, I'm not interested. Yay for me. He said he was gutted bla bla bla. I didn't reply. Forgot all about him.

The other day it was my DD's birthday and I changed my Instagram picture to one of her when she was born. Unbeknownst to me he has been looking at my social media (which I don't have him as a friend on) and he's sent me an inbox this afternoon saying he has seen that picture and is having a meltdown because he thinks I've had a baby recently and wants to know if it's his!

Now obviously I'm not going to let the silly git think he has an actual child but AIBU to blank his message for a few days and let him see how he likes it 😂

OP posts:
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7
Potentialmadcatlady · 15/11/2023 18:18

She is implying or denying anything.. he cyber stalked her and has assumed something that she hasn’t said.. his problem, not hers….

BIossomtoes · 15/11/2023 18:18

Night409 · 15/11/2023 18:05

You are because you’re not telling him the truth straight away.

You know he thinks that you’ve had a baby which is potentially his but you’re not denying it - so you are pretending that you’ve had his baby.

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Of course she’s not. Don’t be ridiculous. I’d never reply. Ever.

Dweetfidilove · 15/11/2023 18:20

EnoughIsay · 15/11/2023 18:16

My God _ I am in the library supposed to be studying for an exam.

I keep snorting.

I still think my suggestion is best - BORROW A BABY and do another post in a week or so.

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‘Jolly’ studying 😂😂😂.

EnoughIsay · 15/11/2023 18:20

Night409 · 15/11/2023 18:16

But she’s implying and not denying which is just as bad.

Putting up a baby photo is no different to putting up a pregnancy test, scan photo, engagement ring etc. everyone would assume something.

He’s actually doing the right thing by making sure it’s not his baby.

Its very telling from some of these replies how low some women would stoop to just to get ‘revenge’.

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She did not imply anything at all?

She posted a picture of her dd as a baby.

This guy has been off the scene for months. Not only - but he does not do social media.

He is making all this up himself.

Scottishskifun · 15/11/2023 18:21

Night409 · 15/11/2023 18:16

But she’s implying and not denying which is just as bad.

Putting up a baby photo is no different to putting up a pregnancy test, scan photo, engagement ring etc. everyone would assume something.

He’s actually doing the right thing by making sure it’s not his baby.

Its very telling from some of these replies how low some women would stoop to just to get ‘revenge’.

Show quote history

The OP posted a picture of her daughter on her social media not knowing knowing head was stalking her. She hasn't implied anything of the sort. Knob head as another poster put it did 2 + 2 = 7

The only thing she is doing is not opening or responding to a man who is not a part of her life.

No need to be on a soap box the OP has done nothing wrong and doesn't have to engage with anyone that is cyber stalking her!

littlebopeepp234 · 15/11/2023 18:21

Night409 · 15/11/2023 18:16

But she’s implying and not denying which is just as bad.

Putting up a baby photo is no different to putting up a pregnancy test, scan photo, engagement ring etc. everyone would assume something.

He’s actually doing the right thing by making sure it’s not his baby.

Its very telling from some of these replies how low some women would stoop to just to get ‘revenge’.

Show quote history

She hasn’t done anything!! She hasn’t implied anything!! All she has done is post a picture of her child when the child was a baby!!! She didn’t even know he had social media as told her he doesn’t do social media!! You was accusing op of pretending to be pregnant earlier when she did no such thing!
Have you never used social media before and seen other people posting pictures of their children when they were babies? Get your facts right and stop accusing op of pretending she has given birth to the man’s child fgs!!

MissMogwai · 15/11/2023 18:21

Dweetfidilove · 15/11/2023 18:14

This thread is pure savagery and I’m here for all of it 😂😂😂

Me too. Really cheered me up on a miserable Wednesday 😂

Cordeliathecat · 15/11/2023 18:21

I wouldn’t reply directly but I’d definitely be posting a few more baby photos

Original poster
BlackFriYay · 15/11/2023 18:21

Night409 · 15/11/2023 18:16

But she’s implying and not denying which is just as bad.

Putting up a baby photo is no different to putting up a pregnancy test, scan photo, engagement ring etc. everyone would assume something.

He’s actually doing the right thing by making sure it’s not his baby.

Its very telling from some of these replies how low some women would stoop to just to get ‘revenge’.

Show quote history

Why should I have to second guess what I post incase somebody who claimed not to have social media sees it?

There is reaching and then there is what he has done.

I have never given him any suggestion whatsoever that I was pregnant let alone to him.

He shouldn't be looking on my social media in the first place. Play stupid games win stupid prizes 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
fluffyguineapig · 15/11/2023 18:22

Night409 · 15/11/2023 18:16

But she’s implying and not denying which is just as bad.

Putting up a baby photo is no different to putting up a pregnancy test, scan photo, engagement ring etc. everyone would assume something.

He’s actually doing the right thing by making sure it’s not his baby.

Its very telling from some of these replies how low some women would stoop to just to get ‘revenge’.

Show quote history

She hasn't implied anything to him! He was not the intended audience for the picture. If this bloke stood outside her house then sent a message about how worried he was because he'd been lip-reading and thought she'd said that she was having his baby, would you say that she had to put him right otherwise she's implying that it's true? Or do you think that would just encourage further boundary-pushing bad behaviour?

Bertiesmum3 · 15/11/2023 18:22

I’d put up more baby photos and hashtag them with #conceieved 9 months ago and put the month what it was 9 months ago 🤣🤣🤣
i definitely wouldn’t reply to him

Cosyinbed · 15/11/2023 18:22

Mangledrake · 15/11/2023 17:20

I feel differently about this. He's doing the responsible thing, asking. The message is polite. It's not an off-the-wall response nine months after your relationship.

Just tell him the truth and then block away if you want to. But I wouldn't mess around with this sort of question. You'd want a man to take responsibility for his child. And it's pretty cruel to play with this if he's childless and wants kids.

Understand completely about feeling messed about after a relationship like that, but in my experience you get people out of your head faster if you don't play games or think about revenge. Just no, old photo, move on. Don't give him headspace.

I'm sure he's already had enough of a shock anyway!

This.

I get why it’s funny but not really funny to make him think he could be a dad. He’s done the decent thing my messaging you and asking, most men would’ve run a mile.

SlightlyJaded · 15/11/2023 18:23

Reply

I've just done the maths and I don't think so. Do you think she looks like you?

littlebopeepp234 · 15/11/2023 18:23

BlackFriYay · 15/11/2023 18:21

Why should I have to second guess what I post incase somebody who claimed not to have social media sees it?

There is reaching and then there is what he has done.

I have never given him any suggestion whatsoever that I was pregnant let alone to him.

He shouldn't be looking on my social media in the first place. Play stupid games win stupid prizes 🤷🏼‍♀️

Show quote history

Think that poster is just looking for an argument op, they were trying to accuse you of pretending to be pregnant earlier in the thread! You have made it very clear in your post what has happened and everyone else clearly understands you.

LooksABitElvish · 15/11/2023 18:23

OP’s not implying but he’s inferring. Wrongly.

I’d just put “Well this is awkward” and let him infer what he likes from that too.

EnoughIsay · 15/11/2023 18:24

LooksABitElvish · 15/11/2023 18:23

OP’s not implying but he’s inferring. Wrongly.

I’d just put “Well this is awkward” and let him infer what he likes from that too.

Bloody BRILLIANT!

😄

Dweetfidilove · 15/11/2023 18:25

MissMogwai · 15/11/2023 18:21

Me too. Really cheered me up on a miserable Wednesday 😂

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😂😂😂

FloofCloud · 15/11/2023 18:25

BlackFriYay · 15/11/2023 18:15

He doesn't know where I live, I've moved since the last time I saw him. I don't think he would resort to knocking on my previous place, which is empty and being refurbished so if he were to go knocking he'd soon realise that 😁

Hell tvibk you had to move to fit a new baby into a new home lol 😂

Original poster
BlackFriYay · 15/11/2023 18:26

FloofCloud · 15/11/2023 18:25

Hell tvibk you had to move to fit a new baby into a new home lol 😂

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Well this has set me off again 😂

OP posts:
Meowandthen · 15/11/2023 18:26

Night409 · 15/11/2023 18:16

But she’s implying and not denying which is just as bad.

Putting up a baby photo is no different to putting up a pregnancy test, scan photo, engagement ring etc. everyone would assume something.

He’s actually doing the right thing by making sure it’s not his baby.

Its very telling from some of these replies how low some women would stoop to just to get ‘revenge’.

Show quote history

Are you a man? Or a pick-me woman? 🤔

booksandbeans · 15/11/2023 18:27

Yep because instagram is the best tool to use for those kind of questions. Let him stew & see if he can work it out.

I now have Carly Simon you’re so vain going round in my head.

Hellohowareyou12 · 15/11/2023 18:28

My advice ignore it 100% and don't reply. It will drive him insane

this

SurprisedWithAHorse · 15/11/2023 18:29

Night409 · 15/11/2023 18:16

But she’s implying and not denying which is just as bad.

Putting up a baby photo is no different to putting up a pregnancy test, scan photo, engagement ring etc. everyone would assume something.

He’s actually doing the right thing by making sure it’s not his baby.

Its very telling from some of these replies how low some women would stoop to just to get ‘revenge’.

Show quote history

No, it's telling just how far some people have to reach to find something to weaponise against women.

She's put up a photo in good faith, with no thought to the guy who treated her like dirt and claimed not to use social media. That's all.

She's not the bad guy because it turns out he's also paranoid with wild assumptions. Frankly you should be able to do better than that.

LeatherJacketWedding · 15/11/2023 18:30

quitefranklyabsurd · 15/11/2023 17:01

I’m not sure I’d ever reply. - apart from maybe with something along the lines of the below in a couple of days -

“this is all to hard to talk about at the moment”

and then block.

Genius 👌🤣

Neddevine · 15/11/2023 18:31

Add a photo of a different baby...I mean twins aren't that uncommon are they?