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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm going to hell aren't I? What the fuck

767 replies

BlackFriYay · 15/11/2023 16:54

9 ish months ago I was seeing somebody I really liked but was being messed around terribly by. I'm talking ghosting after sex repeatedly, blatantly using me for sex but claiming otherwise.. I suspected he had a girlfriend towards the end but didn't have any proof as he "doesn't do social media". (Lies). Champions league wanker behaviour basically.

I thought I was in love with him at the time and it took me months to get over once I finally decided to cut my losses and move on.

I did some work on my self esteem and when he came crawling back months later (a few weeks ago) and text me asking to see me realised I wasn't into him at all so I cheerily replied no thank you, I'm not interested. Yay for me. He said he was gutted bla bla bla. I didn't reply. Forgot all about him.

The other day it was my DD's birthday and I changed my Instagram picture to one of her when she was born. Unbeknownst to me he has been looking at my social media (which I don't have him as a friend on) and he's sent me an inbox this afternoon saying he has seen that picture and is having a meltdown because he thinks I've had a baby recently and wants to know if it's his!

Now obviously I'm not going to let the silly git think he has an actual child but AIBU to blank his message for a few days and let him see how he likes it 😂

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Afteropening · 16/11/2023 17:00

SuePurrkins · 16/11/2023 16:39

They should contact their local cinema in case there's a vacancy for a projectionist.

Show quote history

they’d wonder if they’d gone back in time to the 1950s

CheekyHobson · 16/11/2023 17:05

Well done OP. I'd say that maybe this will teach him not to treat women like they can be thrown away when they become inconvenient but I rather doubt it will. At least he had a bit of well-earned karma sweating it out in his pot haze.

CharlottePerrens · 16/11/2023 17:22

backtowinter · 15/11/2023 17:03

I would reply "who is this?"

Then block

Hahaha

JFDIYOLO · 16/11/2023 17:39

Bahahahahahahahahahahahah ... 😂🤣

Leave it .... let him sweat a bit ... then a brief 'No. Old photo.' He may be trying to hoover you back in - don't engage.

booksandbeans · 16/11/2023 17:44

Well done OP. Hopefully that has shrivelled up his balls for a while.

Catsmakemehappy · 16/11/2023 17:55

🤣

VeronicaSawyer89 · 16/11/2023 17:55

TrashedSofa · 16/11/2023 13:18

Cancel the baby cheque, my dudes.

😂

Jl2014 · 16/11/2023 17:57

Good work, OP 👏🏻

VeronicaSawyer89 · 16/11/2023 17:58

Night409 · 16/11/2023 13:23

There is a photo of a baby on your SM.

Which you’ve happened to post 9 months after having sex with him.

Of course he’s going to think there is a chance you’ve had a baby and that he is the dad.

You could say no (enter funny response if that’s what you want to do) and be done with it.
Or you could choose to keep in contact with him for longer by not shutting it down immediately.
You’ve chosen the second option.

Show quote history

JFC! The "baby" is fucking 12 years old! Is OP not allowed to post a picture of her daughter as a baby on her daughter's birthday on her own social media? Especially considering this man is NOT one of her followers?

DoodleDoo37 · 16/11/2023 17:58

quitefranklyabsurd · 15/11/2023 17:01

I’m not sure I’d ever reply. - apart from maybe with something along the lines of the below in a couple of days -

“this is all to hard to talk about at the moment”

and then block.

THIS - YOU MUST DO THIS!!!!! Evil laugh!!!!!

MargotBamborough · 16/11/2023 18:02

Given that his message didn't read, "I know we were really careful about using condoms every single time but given the timing I have to ask, I'm not the father, am I?" is it fair to assume he doesn't take a great deal of care not to create potential crotch goblins with every woman he has sex with and then ghosts?

SerafinasGoose · 16/11/2023 18:06

Hope you're rid of him permanently, @BlackFriYay. WTG you! 😂

Needhelp101 · 16/11/2023 18:13

Excellent work, OP 😁

laylababe5 · 16/11/2023 18:15

I would just reply and say it's not his, then tell him to never contact you again and block him. This person who hurt you so much is not worth the space he is currently taking up in your head.

Redragtoabull · 16/11/2023 18:16

You were seeing him for months and he didn't know you had a child? And he can't tell the graphics of a recent pic and an old one? ...I think he knows exactly what he's doing and just wants any communication from you. Don't reply...ever

Appleofmyeye2023 · 16/11/2023 18:18

BlackFriYay · 15/11/2023 16:58

So the Instagram message pops up as a notification (see attached 😂) and he won't know I've read it unless I open it in the app, which I haven't.

You are blanking him. Don’t respond at all. If you respond in a few days you’re engaging with him. This could be click bait to get you to respond.
just ignore
ifnit is a honest panic, and you get a teeny bit of satisfaction form it, well so be it. But what he thinks is not your business now
block him.
how the hell can he see baby pictures in public. Stop doing that too.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 16/11/2023 18:21

how the hell can he see baby pictures in public. Stop doing that too.

everyone’s profile pic is public.

Ninabean17 · 16/11/2023 18:27

I've loved this, well done op 👏

Zanatdy · 16/11/2023 18:29

Haha love it OP. Those who are trying to shame you for falling for someone in a few months need to give their head a wobble. Same time frame, I met someone last November and it lasted until Feb. He told me he loved me (I did know him already by the way, as a colleague) and I genuinely believed it, yes in hindsight I was an idiot. But it happens. He also got in touch again later down the line, he didn’t think I was pregnant and did apologise for being a tw*t his words not mine. People are acting like it’s something completely unheard of falling for someone quickly. Don’t let them think there’s something wrong with you. There isn’t. It’s that old superiority complex many posters here have.

Yourcatisnotsorry · 16/11/2023 18:38

Leave it for a few days then message ‘CSA will be in touch’ 🤣

dapsnotplimsolls · 16/11/2023 18:40

BlackFriYay · 16/11/2023 14:15

I've opened the message and said "don't worry, your name is not on the birth certificate of that baby" ..I just had to. It hasn't left my mind since PP suggested it yesterday 😂

I know. I'm the devil incarnation. Wicked, wicked woman.

Don't worry, I'll make sure he knows she isn't his. I'm hoping he will feel very, very silly.

Edited to add: I will be blocking him, on both accounts, and setting my IG to private now.

Edited

😉

Just going to take all the credit now ...

CandyLeBonBon · 16/11/2023 18:46

@MayThe4th attempts have been made to rewrite the OP's DD's version of events on the thread about her dd misgendering a teacher.

TheRealLilyMunster · 16/11/2023 18:49

Don't reply ever.
Karma.

housethatbuiltme · 16/11/2023 18:53

I dated a couple of thick twats like that... they got in touch when I had my DS to ask if he was theirs.

Like on what planet? I hadn't even spoken to one of them in TWO YEARS. Literally neither of them could mathematically be even close to being DS father but they had somehow got themselves in a tizz after hearing I had had a kid... obviously thinking my whole existence revolves around them somehow, main character syndrome at its worst.

Lovemusic82 · 16/11/2023 18:54

Loving some of the replies, this has cheered me up after have a rubbish few days thanks to an idiot man. For this reason I agree with people saying ‘let him stew’, or ‘never tell him’ 🤣, he will forever be wondering if he has a child out there that may one day knock on his door.