I'm going to hell aren't I? What the fuck

[BlackFriYay]

9 ish months ago I was seeing somebody I really liked but was being messed around terribly by. I'm talking ghosting after sex repeatedly, blatantly using me for sex but claiming otherwise.. I suspected he had a girlfriend towards the end but didn't have any proof as he "doesn't do social media". (Lies). Champions league wanker behaviour basically.

I thought I was in love with him at the time and it took me months to get over once I finally decided to cut my losses and move on.

I did some work on my self esteem and when he came crawling back months later (a few weeks ago) and text me asking to see me realised I wasn't into him at all so I cheerily replied no thank you, I'm not interested. Yay for me. He said he was gutted bla bla bla. I didn't reply. Forgot all about him.

The other day it was my DD's birthday and I changed my Instagram picture to one of her when she was born. Unbeknownst to me he has been looking at my social media (which I don't have him as a friend on) and he's sent me an inbox this afternoon saying he has seen that picture and is having a meltdown because he thinks I've had a baby recently and wants to know if it's his!

Now obviously I'm not going to let the silly git think he has an actual child but AIBU to blank his message for a few days and let him see how he likes it 😂

The way some people are tying themselves in knots to find fault with me is atleast half as funny as he is.

I wrote a massive paragraph "crying" did I? I'm still hurting?

There is no logic to these people's arguments. If I was still cut up about the daft man I would surely jump at the chance to talk to him, not reject him last month then go on to ignore him now.

This isn't some horror story of a woman fabricating a pregnancy to win back a man. This has happened because the man's ego couldn't just accept that I'd declined contact with him, so he's now stalking me on the Internet and jumping to wild condlusins OR, as some have suggested, faking this whole "I'm so scared" fiasco to get me to reply to him.

Women whose views don't chime with The Patriarchy, or who won't be good little women and simply STFU, have been told they are mentally compromised since time immemorial. To get rid of a superfluous women, sticking a label of 'mad' on her and throwing her in the nuthouse was a failsafe method.

This antediluvian attitude hasn't entirely died a death, as we've seen with the modern-day examples of Princesses Diana and Charlene. This thread also reeks of it.

'You disagree with me, therefore you must be "mental" (nice term)'. Really compelling argument that's absolutely guaranteed to persuade someone around to the opposite point of view, innit?

he's snuck uninveited onto your property and picked up a stick that is nothing to do with him and now he's trying to get you to tell him which end is which and what he needs to do with it.

Admittedly the temptation would be almost too much to resist ...

Yes you are, I'll see you there and have the daiquaris waiting :)

Several people in this thread need to lighten the fuck up. A horrible man suffers angst for about 24 hours, woe fucking him if he genuinely is stupid enough to think she has had his baby but more than likely he is playing a game and is trying to re-establish communication.

There are so many people piling on to this thread spitefully with a half arsed attempt at reading the thread and NOT realising the OP posted this fairly light heartedly.

I think I would be tempted to reply ' unfortunately there's no way of knowing as when we were together I slept with a few others too'

Ooohhhh gaslighting me now are you! Doesn’t work! I do not listen to keyboard warriors trying to diagnose someone as mental or ‘coming off as mental’! I will only listen to a qualified psychiatrist about such stuff and maybe, just maybe then I might listen. Until then… go crawl back under your stone! Bye bye 🤣

Oh, stop embarrassing yourself.

This comment was unintentionally hilarious. Also ended with a flourish, love it.

@Sweepies Can you elaborate on what you mean by special? If that's you suggesting I have special needs, based on this thread, then you need to go and have a word with yourself.

I do have a child with special needs, do you want to take the piss out of him aswell?

She's not "allowing him to think she's had his baby".

She posted a picture on social media for her own benefit and that of her followers. It wasn't intended to make a man who supposedly wasn't on social media to think anything.

She doesn't owe him a reply, or anything at all.

If he has put two and two together and made five, and now has a niggling doubt about whether he may have fathered a child, perhaps he'll think twice about using women for sex and then ghosting them in future.

I assume some posters on here are quite young (or just have nothing going on in their lives)

There are certain things that are morally wrong and most people want to reduce the drama in their lives, not create it (especially if it involves a man who apparently broke your heart).

I guess it’s just something that comes with maturity.

I miss the Jeremy Kyle show.
Perhaps MN is the new JK show.

There's always a few posters who get joy out of insulting someone who has posted. Ignore them, @BlackFriYay

I'm desperate to know the outcome here! OP I don't play games but I would definitely take my time replying to make sure I was happy with the response and it would be VERY clear that I wanted him to jog on.

For everyone saying it's wrong to let him believe he's the dad....what if OP hadn't seen the message for a day or two? I'm often days between checking my SM messages, regularly I'll swipe off notifications without looking at them because more often than not they're spam. Important people call me or text/WhatsApp. People have busy lives. He's not able to respond immediately to OP, he can't expect her to jump the second he messages her on a platform he told her he doesn't use just because he's made a leap from "OP has posted a picture of her child" to "OP has had MY child????". Especially not when he's only seen it from stalking her when she said she's not interested in a "session" (mega ick) with him.

Any mostly female community will get hysterical angry men bansheeing at it for not always being to blame for everything, and deeming it morally corrupt and insane for not taking their correction.

That's one of the best things about it!

@Totaly 😂😂

In english law there is a legal right for the father to see his child. David Blunkett (who brought in the law) benefited from it as his married lover had his child hwilst she was still married and living with her husband.

But this man isn't her child's father.

That's nice. He isn't the father of the school age child OP already had while she was seeing him.

I wouldn't even consider replying. I'd leave him on read and forget about it.

He’s not actually the dad, he just thinks he is and OP wants revenge on him so doesn’t want to tell him just yet.

if there was a prize for the most irrelevant post of the day…

(and everything in that case was done on the basis of it being in the child’s interest - not Blunkett’s rights)