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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm going to hell aren't I? What the fuck

767 replies

BlackFriYay · 15/11/2023 16:54

9 ish months ago I was seeing somebody I really liked but was being messed around terribly by. I'm talking ghosting after sex repeatedly, blatantly using me for sex but claiming otherwise.. I suspected he had a girlfriend towards the end but didn't have any proof as he "doesn't do social media". (Lies). Champions league wanker behaviour basically.

I thought I was in love with him at the time and it took me months to get over once I finally decided to cut my losses and move on.

I did some work on my self esteem and when he came crawling back months later (a few weeks ago) and text me asking to see me realised I wasn't into him at all so I cheerily replied no thank you, I'm not interested. Yay for me. He said he was gutted bla bla bla. I didn't reply. Forgot all about him.

The other day it was my DD's birthday and I changed my Instagram picture to one of her when she was born. Unbeknownst to me he has been looking at my social media (which I don't have him as a friend on) and he's sent me an inbox this afternoon saying he has seen that picture and is having a meltdown because he thinks I've had a baby recently and wants to know if it's his!

Now obviously I'm not going to let the silly git think he has an actual child but AIBU to blank his message for a few days and let him see how he likes it 😂

OP posts:
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7
scrunchie2 · 15/11/2023 23:23

This is hilarious! If definitely ignore him for at least a couple of days and then reply as if you've not left it just being clear that no you've not had his baby so he can't go jumping to any more conclusions! If he mentions how long it took you to reply I'd just say ignore him

Lesina · 15/11/2023 23:31

reply ‘ do you have a preferred family name?, I was going with Errol, but do you have a preference?’

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 15/11/2023 23:33

Night409 · 15/11/2023 18:16

But she’s implying and not denying which is just as bad.

Putting up a baby photo is no different to putting up a pregnancy test, scan photo, engagement ring etc. everyone would assume something.

He’s actually doing the right thing by making sure it’s not his baby.

Its very telling from some of these replies how low some women would stoop to just to get ‘revenge’.

Show quote history

The only things that men like him care about doing the right thing for is their dicks and their wallets. When seeing to his dick, he treated OP like a prostitute, describing sex as a "session".

Now that he thinks he might be a father, he fears for his wallet. That's the only reason why he has got back in touch. Not because he worries for OP's wellbeing as a supposed new mother, nor to be a hands-on dad, but just reassurance that CSA won't be after him.

If he's not prepared to treat OP decently, then he doesn't deserve decent treatment himself. Perhaps he will learn from this to keep his dick wrapped in future?

Live by the ghosting, die by the ghosting.

Toseland · 15/11/2023 23:35

Change your instagram image to a photo of triplets! 😂

MelsMoneyTree · 15/11/2023 23:35

If he's a player, he might know exactly what the photo is (ie your older DC's photo for their birthday) but he thought you'd be unable to resist correcting him about the 'baby' - and that opens up communication again.

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 15/11/2023 23:36

MelsMoneyTree · 15/11/2023 23:35

If he's a player, he might know exactly what the photo is (ie your older DC's photo for their birthday) but he thought you'd be unable to resist correcting him about the 'baby' - and that opens up communication again.

@Night409 This ⬆ is another very excellent reason not to reply to him.

Rainonme93 · 15/11/2023 23:41

Message him in a few weeks. You've been on a lovely long holiday, had shitty WiFi and haven't seen his message.

moomoomoo27 · 15/11/2023 23:57

Send him the link to the child benefits info page on the govt website, with no other comment.

OutOfSyncWithReality · 16/11/2023 00:00

A session? Jaysus. Just block him OP. You sound amazing and he sounds like a dick. He's trying to reel you back in. Fight fire with fire.

Canisaysomething · 16/11/2023 00:01

All the people trying to put shame on you OP and make you feel bad, clearly have never dated a man like this. The fact he even looked you up on instagram in the first place is creepy, as you weren’t friends and hadn’t seen him for 9 months.

Canisaysomething · 16/11/2023 00:01

moomoomoo27 · 15/11/2023 23:57

Send him the link to the child benefits info page on the govt website, with no other comment.

🤣

settingsafain · 16/11/2023 00:12

BlackFriYay · 15/11/2023 22:35

Absolute gold 😂

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@Shelby2010 wins the thread!

Ilovelifeverymuch · 16/11/2023 00:12

Night409 · 15/11/2023 17:58

YABU

You don’t pretend to be pregnant or have had a baby with someone, that’s just childish.

Tell him the truth and just block him.

How did she pretend to be pregnant or have a baby? Maybe put the wine down and read properly.

RantyAnty · 16/11/2023 00:17

I'm loving this.
He deserved every bit of worry for being a grade A twat.

Ilovelifeverymuch · 16/11/2023 00:28

Night409 · 15/11/2023 18:16

But she’s implying and not denying which is just as bad.

Putting up a baby photo is no different to putting up a pregnancy test, scan photo, engagement ring etc. everyone would assume something.

He’s actually doing the right thing by making sure it’s not his baby.

Its very telling from some of these replies how low some women would stoop to just to get ‘revenge’.

Show quote history

Please stop, unless you're the cheating ex lol.

She put the picture on her profile picture for herself not him. He is not even her friend on social media and yet he has been cyber stalking her so no she is not implying anything.

It's interesting concerned you are for a cheating bastard.

Somewhereoverthersinbowweighapie · 16/11/2023 00:38

That is funny. I wouldn’t reply. Just let him worry.

Daffodil63 · 16/11/2023 01:02

It doesn't sit well with me either as pp said, he has come forward and made contact

Momtotwokids · 16/11/2023 02:39

You won't be going to hell but maybe he will.

Mothership4two · 16/11/2023 02:42

When you do eventually reply you should make it sound as though you are horrified "oh God no! Thank the Lord!" in your own words maybe something less God-y!

Tiredbanks · 16/11/2023 03:05

I would say "I don't feel comfortable talking about this over IG. I will call you."

And then never call him.

NovemberAutumn · 16/11/2023 04:21

Tiredbanks · 16/11/2023 03:05

I would say "I don't feel comfortable talking about this over IG. I will call you."

And then never call him.

I like that.

LePanthere · 16/11/2023 04:35

I’m with all those that vote for a vague comment and then block. You owe him NOTHING.

littlebopeepp234 · 16/11/2023 04:49

I once read somewhere that to get the upper hand on a player is to simply ghost them and don’t engage any further! He got he sex the last time before HE ghosted you op, he then came crawling back and wanted more, you told him “sorry not interested” so let him carry on thinking you’re not interested in him, let him think what he likes and show him that you actually have boundaries and that you will not be used for sex, keep your boundaries and your dignity intact and your head held high! Even just responding to him at all will mean you’re giving him some form of attention, even if it’s negative attention! Don’t give him the satisfaction of a reply. Ignore his entire sorry existence, you owe him nothing!!

Afteropening · 16/11/2023 05:29

The bloke I was getting to know didn't "do" hooking up or casual sex, hadn't had many partners, was a bit shy around women.

He ghosted you after sex multiple times within the 3 months that you were together… he hardly hid it!

rwalker · 16/11/2023 05:58

he saw the relationship as FWB and you kept going back for more thinking it would turn into a relationship

if he was that shitty and thought you’d have his child he’d run for the hills

his message didn’t sound like a meltdown just someone wanting to be responsible and do the right thing