Friend constantly on her 'phone

[Bitchinabonnet]

I'd really appreciate your opinions on this as I'm struggling to know if I'm BU or not .

I have a friend . Let's call her Kelly . We're both in our early 50s and have known each other since for over 30 years .

We don't live close to each other but get together 2/3 times a year . I might go to hers , she'll come to us and once a year we'll have a weekend away .

Since mobile 'phones have been around she's always been attached to hers . Not social media or web sites but constantly talking and messaging . Most of the time to her partner . I'm talking talking 5/6 times a day and regularly texting/WhatsApping/sending photos . She's messaging other people too but in the main her partner . Kelly now has a smart watch so it's a case of her constantly checking her watch for messages .

You could argue that it's none of my business . But it's always irritated me . I find it rude , like she can't be in the moment just relaxing and having fun as she's always checking her 'phone/watch .

It actually causes us to be late , miss things , have activities interrupted as she's on her 'phone .

Last time we got together I told her how annoying I found it and that I thought it was rude . We don't see each other very often so it's not on to be constantly on the 'phone . She wasn't angry but used the excuse she's always 'busy' so uses her 'phone a lot more than me . 'Busy' not with work but with her partner and family/friends .

We're seeing each other soon . I received a message last night basically listing why she will need to be messaging/online during that time . Again , nothing to do with work .

I'm tempted to cancel . Just fed up with it . The only other person I've mentioned it to is a mutual friend who says it's excessive and will never change .

AIBU ?

We don't see each other very often

understatement given it is twice a year

So… if you find it rude and irritated you and you have already raised it with her… her just stop the 2x a year visits!

so if nothing to do with work

what did she say it was about?

Most of the time to her partner . I'm talking talking 5/6 times a day and regularly texting/WhatsApping/sending photos . She's messaging other people too but in the main her partner .

and you have extrapolated this from how many get together a a year?!

Your friend has FOMO.

A lot of people do. How often do you (not necessarily you OP) watch tv with your phone in your other hand scrolling through email or whatever app you've got open... mumsnet also counts! 😁

To do it during a rare meet up is exceptionally rude especially as she's given you advance warning that she regards it as better than your company!

I'd not disturb her. Leave her and her phone alone. Find friends who want to be with you because they want to be with you.

YABU for 'phone.

Why 'phone and not phone?

‘Phone to show that it’s an abbreviation of telephone. It’s considered an old fashioned writing convention now.

I am talking about when I am with her .

'phone because it's short for telephone .

all of twice a year

so….

Does the OP still take her 'cello on the 'bus?

I'd reply "ok, no worries, we can get together when you're less busy" and just leave it at that.

Also, she doesn't say 'watch (short form of wristwatch).

People are so pedantic commenting on the 'phone without answering OP's post.

No YANBU OP, I find it rude too. I wish people would live more in the moment. I message my partner quite often as we don't see each other a lot due to work and not living together but I wouldn't message him if I was spending time with others and wouldn't expect him to either unless it was important

It is just rude.

As is picking over someone else’s grammar, which incidentally, is correct.

I’m similar age, and have old friends that I also see just a couple of times a year. It would drive me mad if she spent all day on her ‘phone rather than talking to me, the friend who she has come to visit. Exception being sick family or other emergency.

What are her reasons for staying on the ‘phone this time? Why can’t she sort it out in advance? I mean to give you reasons in advance is pretty strange!

As is picking over someone else’s grammar, which incidentally, is correct.

Spelling it " 'phone " is not correct. It is a 'clipped form' and should not use an apostrophe.

Totally the opposite, full marks for 'phone

I know someone who always writes it properly and it makes me smile every time😀

The fact that you use 'phone suggests you don't use yours a lot. I think many of us use our phones a lot these days, so perhaps your expectations are out of line with what many of us expect nowadays.

I travelled across the world to see my sister and noticed she was on her phone a lot. It became an issue when I took her out to lunch and she said one sentence, I got part way through the reply before she was back on her phone! I literally spent the entire meal people watching in silence.
Her behaviour didn’t change for the whole visit, I think my visit did not warrant her attention even though she had insisted on it. I won’t be visited her again, too boring!

That should be "pedants' corner".

I find it really rude when with a friend and I am glued to my phone, but not when out with friends