Restaurant maître d' talking about us to other customers

[heynow1111]

Went out for a meal with husband to a nice restaurant and booking was 1.5 hours. I am a slow eater and we were having a lovely time chatting so I wasn't clock watching.

In retrospect Maître d'/head waiter was hovering when I was close to finishing and I should have perhaps read this as they were rushing us to finish but I was so enjoying the meal and company I didn't register at the time.

Finished meal and Maître d'/head waiter said (in other words can't remember exactly) "sorry I've been waiting for you to finish, I didn't know what to do". I know they said sorry but you know when from someone's tone they are NOT sorry and what they said was more to point out you had annoyed them? At the time I felt really awkward and embarrassed like I should have been tracking the time or something? So I apologised.

After this had happened husband said that PRIOR to this, he had seen Maître d' talking behind their hand whilst looking at us and saying sorry. So talking about us whilst we were at that point totally unaware we had gone over time.

I think this could have been better managed by when we were coming close to end of our booking, saying excuse me, just to let you know you are coming to the end of your booking as we have another table at X time? I would have thought oh sh** and rushed up!

I completely get it must be annoying when customers go over on bookings and it must be complex coordinating everything but i thought it was handled unprofessionally. Just tell us you need the table now/soon rather than talking about us behind our backs to other customers and then informing us after the fact that we had 'held up' a booking? AIBU?

I have a family member who is a maitre d and has a similar set up on busy evenings where they relay the tables for the next sitting and they are absolutely told to remind the customer when their time to leave is nearing and will move them to a bar area if they have taken unnecessarily longer than they should have done to accommodate the next set of diners, who also have the right to eat when they've booked a table. You're being unreasonable, don't mess with the system when you've been explicitly told how long you have the table for

If your booking was 1.5 hours then you should be there 1.5 hours. No excuses. Unless the kitchen delayed and your food arrived with only 10 minutes to go.

The last three times I've been out for a meal we were given a 2 hour slot and the first 20 mins were taken up by taking drinks orders then taking food orders.....one place we had pre ordered food but it still took over an hour to put the first plates on the table so 1hr and 20 mins after entering until we received our food, nobody is an avid drinker but we were on to second rounds/second bottle of wine before starters . The last place we went to told us we had 20 mins before we had to leave after serving a large round of drinks then stood over us wanting a dessert and coffee order. The bemused look when we said no thanks we'll go elsewhere because we didn't want to rush...
I think that the mark up on drinks must far outweigh the mark up on food as this appears to be the main focus at the moment

But this is the point...

Your relative would help things run to time, I'm sure they have a smooth/polite way of doing so. That's good service, and anyone complaining about that would be unreasonable.

But that's not what the maitre d did... he failed to elegantly ask the couple to get a move on (thus pissing off the next booking) and then complained about it to the OP when it was already too late.

It's literally the maitre d's job to coordinate the service to make it welcoming and efficient, I'm a bit surprised by everyone who thinks he had no responsibility to mention the time to the diners.

Wait…what? Is this a normal thing now in the U.K. that you have to book a slot for eating?! 🙈I don’t think 1,5 hrs is that long for some people who like to chat and have a drink etc. Where I am, people can spend hours eating and talking

A lot of people in the UK do that, too. What they don’t do if they want 5 courses and a leisurely meal is book a timed slot.

According to people on this thread, some restaurants do timed slots all evening but that hasn’t reached the restaurants near me (thankfully) - the one I went to recently that did give us an end time (near the theatre) had a timed ‘early bird’ slot which required us to be out by 7 then a normal ‘stay until closing’ sitting after that.

There was a limited set menu and set prices for 2 or 3 courses, plus the food was served quickly and my guess is several servings were cooked and ready to go in the kitchen as the limited choices meant the restaurant knew they would sell.

It works when a lot of customers have a reason to eat and go (like theatre tickets).

Surely your dinner must be stone cold after an hour misses the point

Some very popular restaurants fit in more than one sitting for dinner, especially on busy nights.

I prefer not to have a timed sitting as I'm afraid I'm no stranger to a 4 hour lunch...

But for some restaurants there's no choice as they have people queuing up to go!

Yes, the waiter was rude. I’ve had servers politely remind me that they need a table back in 20 minutes or whatever and it’s fine. No need to passive aggressive or snarky.

1.5 hours is not long for a "nice restaurant"
Most allow min of two and posher places even longer. If it was a pub and they told you then fair enough but it also depends on them serving you quickly enough.

The other week we had a two hour slot for a brunch but they didn't take our order for 50 mins and food didn't arrive until 90 mins and then they started rushing us to finish. I think it's incredibly rude on the restaurant's part. YANBU.

This is fair to be honest. I appreciate directness (whilst done politely of course).

I’d hate to be pressured into a time slot I think

This is a fair point, I'll change my answer to both of them being unreasonable!! the maitre d for not doing his job properly and OP for clearly disregarding what she'd been told about timings - can't be fairer than that

I don't think 90 mins is long enough if you're having multiple courses; I'm not a slow eater and have been irritated by having a dessert mwnu thrust at me whilst still eating my main, in a place that was half empty. It would be better to let you book a timeslot according to your needs I think (ie coming in for multiple courses versus just a quick main). I also wouldn't be clock watching and would want the staff to just remind me politely about the time.

That said I do think your DH was unreasonable not to tell you when he realised the waiter was apologising to other customers for the delay.

Yes! Although I think OP seems to have been oblivious rather than inconveniencing others on purpose.

Personally if I had a 1.5 slot and the waiter was hovering I'd be hyperaware of the time, probably to an OTT level, because I'd be worried about annoying the staff. Maybe it's sweet she was so wrapped up in her husband's company... I'd definitely bring hurrying my husband along and annoying him in the process haha

A 1.5 hr time slot is unreasonable for a leisurely meal. If it isn't a fast food place, you need time to enjoy several courses, coffee, chat. It's an experience not a let's just shovel it in and get out.

There was timeslot you stick to the time slot if you can't go elsewhere

It really is that simple

Absolutely and unless I had later plans and wanted the restaurant to want me in and out quickly as much as I wanted rapid service, I wouldn’t want to eat there.

However, I also wouldn’t book a timed slot and completely ignore it the way OP (and her husband for that matter) seems to have done.

I don’t think I’ve ever come across a time limit at a restaurant!

we eat out quite regularly (often as a bigger group 4-6people) and quite often are 1-2hrs so I don’t think it’s unreasonable for 1.5hr especially if you’ve got 3 courses and drinks. If you had a starter and a drink for an hour and half then yeah that’s too long haha.

The reality from a different angle. People were waiting for the table. This will therefore affect their booking meaning they will finish later. This in turn means staff are staying later and usually not getting paid. Not legal or correct but very likely in the food industry. I was at a high tea recently. One of the party was 40 minutes late for the two hour slot. And started settling in to be past the allocated time. She seemed to have no concept we would be encroaching on the wait staffs meal break before they started the dinner rush. Your husband did bot help things. Set a vibration alarm on your phone for 15 minutes before the time is up, if you choose to attend such restaurants in the future. That way you can be courteous to others time.

You’ve paid good money to eat there why on earth should you sit clock watching, and as for setting an alarm, oh jeez 🙄
Eating out has become a luxury to a lot of people, I don’t think you should be rushed, maybe restaurants should stop trying to cram as many people in like a conveyor belt!

OK OK so the policy is 1.5 hours, fine, then he should have politely reminded you your time was nearly up. Talking about you to others is completely unprofessional!

There is nothing to stop people declining to eat at such restaurants. I would unless I had somewhere to be later that evening.

What I wouldn’t do is accept the limited time and then ignore it, thereby inconveniencing the customers with the later sitting.

The staff had to say something to the diners waiting for their table. Why should the staff take responsibility for the OP and her husband being inconsiderate?

And yes, if the OP is incapable of keeping track of time despite knowing she needs to do so, a vibrating alarm is probably a good idea. Of course, I suspect she and her DH were well aware they were over time - she just didn’t expect to get called out on her selfishness.

I’m quite surprised how annoyed people are by this!!
I understand there was a time limit on the booking, but if you’re going out to enjoy yourself, you’re not going to be clock watching are you. Time can easily run away from you and it doesn’t make you an irresponsible adult to lose track.
It is completely the restaurants responsibility to ensure the bookings run as they should. I recently went to a place in Manchester where they do them big platters of food that’s so bad for you but so good. I’m a bit of a slow eater too so we were still making our way through the platter with 20 mins left on the booking. The waitress came over and politely said we had 20 mins left, in 15 mins if we wanted anything boxed up we could and we could box a dessert if we wanted to. That made us aware of the time in a direct way and also made us feel like we didn’t miss out on anything too- for a waiter to just stand around hinting is just odd!

1.5 hours is plenty for a chain restaurant but is not long enough for a nice one. If they want customers then they need to stop being so greedy and packing people in like a conveyor belt.

Sounds like they had plenty of customers, nobody else had a problem with the time constraints and nobody was compelled to book 🤷🏻‍♀️