Restaurant maître d' talking about us to other customers

[heynow1111]

Went out for a meal with husband to a nice restaurant and booking was 1.5 hours. I am a slow eater and we were having a lovely time chatting so I wasn't clock watching.

In retrospect Maître d'/head waiter was hovering when I was close to finishing and I should have perhaps read this as they were rushing us to finish but I was so enjoying the meal and company I didn't register at the time.

Finished meal and Maître d'/head waiter said (in other words can't remember exactly) "sorry I've been waiting for you to finish, I didn't know what to do". I know they said sorry but you know when from someone's tone they are NOT sorry and what they said was more to point out you had annoyed them? At the time I felt really awkward and embarrassed like I should have been tracking the time or something? So I apologised.

After this had happened husband said that PRIOR to this, he had seen Maître d' talking behind their hand whilst looking at us and saying sorry. So talking about us whilst we were at that point totally unaware we had gone over time.

I think this could have been better managed by when we were coming close to end of our booking, saying excuse me, just to let you know you are coming to the end of your booking as we have another table at X time? I would have thought oh sh** and rushed up!

I completely get it must be annoying when customers go over on bookings and it must be complex coordinating everything but i thought it was handled unprofessionally. Just tell us you need the table now/soon rather than talking about us behind our backs to other customers and then informing us after the fact that we had 'held up' a booking? AIBU?

I agree with you OP, if there's an issue either address it at the time when you've got the opportunity to fix it or let it go. Don't moan about it behind people's backs or tell you after it's too late for you to do anything about it.

Restaurants complain about customers who aren't happy with their meal but leave without saying anything and then post bad reviews but the same applies to them - either say something at the time or accept it!

As it is they didn't achieve any resolution but also took the shine off your night out. If they'd asked you to hurry up perhaps you would have been annoyed (sounds like you wouldn't have, as you accepted you'd gone over time, but a different customer potentially could have been), but they would have had their problem fixed. Or if they'd not said anything to you they'd still be struggling to catch up with their service but the customer would have left happy. What they actually did solved nothing and just annoyed both parties!

We recently came back from abroad and where we went to the culture is to eat leisurely, have many courses, relax with family so I think I was still in that mindset of time not being an issue
You'd been made aware (at the time of booking) that you had a 90 minute slot.
How you manage your time on holiday is completely irrelevant?!

I'm in the minority that thinks the server should have handled it better. They don't always need the tables back after the 1.5 hour slot (and I'm sure in those instances would prefer customers order that extra drink, coffee etc and linger spending money)... so if they know they need the table back they need to tell you.

Embarrassing you when it's too late for you to do anything about it is obviously a lose-lose scenario: the customers waiting for a table were unhappy and so were you!

I agree!

And places I've been where they DO need to turn the table, they (graciously) remind you so that everything runs to time.

No need for the staff to whinge about it when it's too late! Really clumsy service in my opinion.

I’d have expected a restaurant that had a maitre’d (so expensive), that has time limits for tables, to have given its staff training on how to deal with customers overstaying their slot so subsequent bookings are not delayed.

Whispering behind their hands to other customers and saying they don’t know what to do is certainly not it!

A polite reminder 15 mins before the end of the slot and offer to take drinks, desserts, coffee into the lounge is quite simple.

Who the hell wants to clock watch while savouring an an expensive meal and soaking up the ambience of an expensive restaurant. You are paying for the experience as well as the food. Also time is dependent on how long it takes courses to come to the table. 1.5 hours is very short.

I’d email the restaurant suggesting further training needed. Maitre’d was highly unprofessional.

@Gardeningtime hovering politely is a contradiction in terms.

This can't be the first time that someone has run over or nearly run over their time. They need to find a politer, and more assertive way of dealing with it. Hovering and whispering is ridiculous, unprofessional and rude. Are they 12? Say what you fucking mean and stop fannying about.

Well we aren't all pigs at a trough, acting like we're on a half hour lunch break when we're going to a restaurant. 😁Some of us like the whole dining experience and will have a cocktail while they're looking at the food menu, a starter, a main course, wine, dessert and a coffee afterwards. It's quite easy to go past 1.5 hours if it's a proper restaurant and not a Toby Carvery or somewhere that does microwave heated up meals.

It's quite common for restaurants to give you a 2 hour slot. At some places it's 1.5 hours. It's not unusual at all for a proper dining experience rather than "going out for tea" because you can't be bothered to cook.

Who wants to clock watch when they're out with their other half at a nice restaurant? I expect the staff to be professional enough to make us aware of the time and use the right hospitality skills so that we didn't feel harrassed out of there. It's doable. It's just good service.

This is my pet hate. Realise they're running a business but 1.5 hrs is unreasonable, especially if you have to wait a length of time for any of the courses.

We went to a very expensive place in London last month and were told several times to hurry up. How can you relax when they're watching every mouthful, waiting to pounce when you e cleared your plate. One waiter cleared the other plates whilst my friend was still eating!

Taking an age to eat your meal & rabbling shite

last place we booked it said we only get 1hr 50min. You are usually made very aware of when the place would like their table back.
if it wasn’t enough time then book somewhere else

I’d be interested to know if this was an ‘early evening’ booking with a less expensive / extensive menu. I don’t usually eat places with timed bookings but the last time I did (pre theatre) it was a set menu at a much lower price than the full menu.

Basically, the limitations (in food and time) were reflected in the cost.

If not, if the OP knows she eats slowly and had no intention of complying with the time slot given (and it’s pretty clear to me she didn’t - she just didn’t expect to be called out on it), I don’t understand why she didn’t book elsewhere.

Occasionally glancing at your watch when you've booked a limited time slot isn't 'clock watching' and I have no idea why people are announcing they couldn't eat a five course meal in 90 minutes.....of course not, if you have a limited time slot you don't order the full degustation menu you order the number of courses you feel you can comfortably finish and no, you don't linger over coffee and a liquor.

There's a time and a place for a relaxed three course meal with time to chat over coffee.....it's not when you've accepted a time limited booking.

Don't go to restaurants that only give you 90 mins for an (expensive?) meal.

Really?? That's not particularly long for an evening meal. It's not grabbing a meal deal or fast food for lunch

We went to a restaurant two weeks ago, had a 9pm booking, and restaurant closed at 11pm. Great two hours! Nope the table before us didn’t finish at 9pm, 9:35pm they finished. So we had to rush our meal in 1 hour 25. There’s no consideration from some people, of how their behaviour affects others.

I agree with you that the waiter should have spoken to you twenty minutes before the end of your booking and said "Just to let you know, the table is booked at 8.30 (or whatever)".
I also think that you should have kept an eye on the on the time.
1.5 hours isn't long. It does seem like they're trying to cram people in and make lots of money rather than let people have relaxed dining experiences.
The title of your post is about the waiter talking about you behind your back. I actually don't think there's anything unreasonable about this. If the next diners were there, waiting for the table, of course he would have to point out that you were still there and apologise! Why are you offended by him doing that? He couldn't say nothing.

The restaurant should have accommodated you sooner, they should have had a contingency for such a scenario it’s not the other couples issue. Displaced anger.

If Im going out to eat and paying a fortune in a restaurant, then like fuck am I going to be hurried along, unless I specifically knew the table would be needed soon and agreed to that before booking.

I don’t think it’s displaced at all.

A restaurant can’t possibly keep tables free in case customers are going to ignore the conditions of their booking and act like inconsiderate twats - that would cancel out the point of having timed bookings.

The only people responsible for @Lochness1975 and her party not being seated on time are the diners who didn’t leave at the end of the time allotted to them.

Please note, I sympathise with people who don’t like timed bookings but the answer to that is not to eat in those restaurants not to accept the booking then deliberately screw over later diners because ‘I’m all right, Jack’.

So you booked a 90 minutes time slot, know you eat slowly but didn't keep an eye on the time, so went over and now have an issue with the staff because they apologised to the next table for them being delayed getting to their table?!

I think this is because you feel embarrassed to have gone over and held up someone else, but rather than actually take responsibility for your own actions and feelings as a result, you're trying to make the staff at the restaurant responsible for it instead.

But don't worry OP, there's a great many like you who seem to think that's what hospitality staff are there for.

So you knew it was 1.5 hour booking, you know you're a slow eater, you noticed them hovering but decided not to check the time?

So it's perfectly okay for the next people who've booked to wait for you 🤔

Maybe try working that job and see how it goes.

YABU.

I personally won't eat anywhere where there's a limit on the time allocated for the table. I'm not a particularly slow eater and if it's just DH and me, well, we've been married too long to spend hours gazing at each other over the table, so we generally don't pontificate over a meal out. However, I hate having to clock watch, and in the past where we've had a table for a set time, the service has been so slow that we've had to rush our food to vacate in time.

But yes, if you knew the table was only for 1.5 hours AND you know you're a slow chomper, then booking somewhere with a time limit probably wasn't the best idea!

When I ran restaurants I would remind guests when they were seated that they needed to vacate the table by x time. And then remind them 15 minutes before the end of their slot. A lot still got snotty at being asked to move to the bar even though they agreed to the t's & c's when they booked.

You don't eat out much do you? It's not fast food. Bookings of a minimum 1.5 - 2hr (or no limit at all) are standard in the restaurants I eat in.

Rude is not checking the time yourself. It works both ways