Restaurant maître d' talking about us to other customers

[heynow1111]

Went out for a meal with husband to a nice restaurant and booking was 1.5 hours. I am a slow eater and we were having a lovely time chatting so I wasn't clock watching.

In retrospect Maître d'/head waiter was hovering when I was close to finishing and I should have perhaps read this as they were rushing us to finish but I was so enjoying the meal and company I didn't register at the time.

Finished meal and Maître d'/head waiter said (in other words can't remember exactly) "sorry I've been waiting for you to finish, I didn't know what to do". I know they said sorry but you know when from someone's tone they are NOT sorry and what they said was more to point out you had annoyed them? At the time I felt really awkward and embarrassed like I should have been tracking the time or something? So I apologised.

After this had happened husband said that PRIOR to this, he had seen Maître d' talking behind their hand whilst looking at us and saying sorry. So talking about us whilst we were at that point totally unaware we had gone over time.

I think this could have been better managed by when we were coming close to end of our booking, saying excuse me, just to let you know you are coming to the end of your booking as we have another table at X time? I would have thought oh sh** and rushed up!

I completely get it must be annoying when customers go over on bookings and it must be complex coordinating everything but i thought it was handled unprofessionally. Just tell us you need the table now/soon rather than talking about us behind our backs to other customers and then informing us after the fact that we had 'held up' a booking? AIBU?

"If we value the restaurant industry, accepting such small measure that help keep them viable seems perfectly reasonable."

We can do what we want with our own money. If I've taken 30-45 minutes to travel somewhere I'm not going home after an hour and a half with no pudding.

Jesus christ 1.5 hours in a restuarant

It wasn't McDonalds. Once you're seated you have to have time to look over the menu, make your choices, orders have to go into the kitchen etc. You dont just sit down, get a plate of food put in front of you and start chomping away.

We were in a restaurant on Friday night that had a 1.5 hr time limit and left bang on time but only had mains, desserts/coffee and a couple of drinks. We knew we had to be somewhere after the meal so didnt mind the time slot. However, if we had wanted something more, a 3 course meal with aperitifs, wine etc would take much longer. Who wants to pay restaurant prices to be rushed out of their seat instead of enjoying a good meal?

The maitre d' sounds like he has no people skills whatsoever. There are plenty of ways he could have let OP know that they needed the table back without being rude. He's probably cost the restaurant future business as I doubt the OP will be rushing back after that experience.

Total non-event. This sort of thing happens multiple times a day in restaurants. Normally an experienced waiter can manage to get you out without you even realising you’ve been managed. Perhaps this guy was new.

Anyway, not worth another second’s thought.

The issue isn’t whether or not 1.5 hours is sufficient time to eat a meal . The point is that she and her husband were aware of that restaurant’s policy yet still overstayed . If you don’t want a time slot , don’t go to a restaurant which operates one !

I get why people say it’s unreasonable to eat a meal in 90 minutes-but I also assume they had the choice not to book it-it’s always made clear when you book that there’s a time limit. It’s totally unreasonable to agree to the booking and then get annoyed when they’ve run over and due to the chat didn’t notice.

People are conflating all sorts of restaurant. We don't know the type the OP was in, so we can't judge if 90 minutes was unreasonable (for a normal person, not someone who eats their dinner when it's gone cold)

Pizza Express? rarely there more than an hour.

The Black Swan At Oldstead? there for the whole night.

The maitre d' could definitely have handled it differently.

And I agree that 1.5 hours in a restaurant is nothing, esp if the meal is the event, i.e. not a quick fuel stop on a long journey or before going to the cinema or theatre etc.

It's quite normal for 15 minutes to be given to peruse the menu and allow for the diners to have a chat, then another 15 minutes before any food is brought out at all.

That's a third of the time gone. Then at the other end of the meal it can take an absolute age for dessert menus to be brought out and then for the bill to be settled.

I know people are saying that the OP shouldn't have agreed to the 90 minute booking, but I think it's unreasonable for restaurants to have such short slots in the first place.

I had an almost two hour lunch the other day with a couple of friends I haven't seen for ages - two hot drinks and a sandwich and the time flew by. And that was in a coffee shop. Not a restaurant with a maitre d'.

I agree with this. I think you’re getting a bit of a hard time OP. Restaurants with online booking systems often give a slot (usually 2 hours) but they don’t always need the table back in that time (I’m sure in that situation they’d rather you stayed and continued spending money ordering more coffees and drinks, than rushing off just because your time’s up). I wouldn’t clock-watch if I was out to enjoy a nice meal, but when I’ve been to busy restaurants that are fully booked with quick turnarounds, in my experience the staff manage it very efficiently without you even realising.

I know a fella who has a very prestige* *job in hospitality and he has to coordinate bookings, timings, etc., for extremely wealthy people (think Beckham type wealth or the Waleses), who have no concept of time whilst dining/relaxing, and he would think it extremely gauche to "hover" around the table or allow one of the wait staff to do so!

I've seen him very adeptly "hurry" people up without appearing too (if it's an event like a concert that he's in charge of, so he hss to keep people moving) and he's a bloody marvel and well loved by the clientele he serves and the company he works for! He gets 5 figure sums for organising Christmas Day lunches, as well as food and gifts, and his services for private functions are very sought after.

If only he could give me a drop of his tact...

I bloody hate timed dining.
If you knew it was only for ,1.5 hours why did you take your time eating ?
Was it 3 courses ,?

They were talking about the “whispering” not the hovering.

i suppose some people just can’t read though 🤷‍♀️

I would hate a time slot! I’m not a slow eater but I like to enjoy my meal.

I wouldn’t overthink it, maybe next time say to him ‘you should have said’. I think that he was probably trying so hard to be polite that it came across as being a bit rude.

Who was he whispering to?

You shouldn't have agreed to a 90 minute timeslot if you were going to decide it didn't apply to you and you'd stay as long as you liked. It inconvenienced staff and the customers waiting for your table. The only excuse for running over is if the restaurant takes an age to get your food.

And how I read it - the husband wasn’t even bothered about the staff member talking until the OP bought up her annoyance then assumed it was about them 🤷‍♀️ so no I don’t think he was uncomfortable since he would have probs said something when he first saw it. Seems more like it was an afterthought.

I didn’t say they’d get fired either - I said risk getting in trouble. Which is different. But again, reading.

But would you want to receive a complaint because someone’s assumed something? Probs not.

It sort of depends on how you came to have a 90 minute booking - is that standard for the restaurant or did you accept only a 90 minute booking because they already had the later one. If the latter, you are being very unreasonable to go over the 90 minutes - we regularly grab an early evening slot knowing that the table will be required and keep an eye on the time, if we want longer the restaurant are fine with it but you need to book before 6.15pm on the night!!!

I am not sure why you picked me out amongst all the people saying the same thing, but the point is nothing to do with how much you spend or what you want... the point is that if you choose to eat at a place that uses time slots, then you know that is your time slot and you get out before the time is up. You don't like the system, don't eat there.

Not when you’ve accepted a 90 minute booking, no.

The OP fully accepts the booking was for 90 minutes and that she went well over. If she didn’t like the idea, she could have eaten elsewhere.

I’ve seen a number of restaurants who do bookings like this for early evening (e.g. for a pre-theatre meal) then no time limits on the later evening bookings.

Eat in better places, OP. 1.5 hours in a nice place isn't long. I hope you didn't leave a tip.

But she knew it was 1.5 hours when she booked !?

You are being unreasonable, and lack any sense of other people's time and convenience.

Pizza Express doesn't have a Maitre d'.

An hour and a half to finish a meal is ridiculous unless it took an hour foe the food to be served

Given the OP’s explanation of his behaviour, I’m saying he is a waiter. A Maître d’ isn’t generally so incompetent.

But it wasn't an honest mistake. At least not on the part of your DH:

After this had happened husband said that PRIOR to this, he had seen Maître d' talking behind their hand whilst looking at us and saying sorry.

Your DH knew full well and just carried on. Unbelievably rude.

I remember in Australia we were eating dinner and suddenly all the lights went out and staff standing with their coats on. We'd only just been given our dinner to eat! It was very bizarre but we thought it was hilarious!