Shall I pay for shoes

[Doginthebed]

My daughter had a friend over today, said friend left shoes downstairs and puppy chewed them slightly. She has been over before and told to put shoes on stairs out of way. I was in bathroom when she arrived . Aibu to not refund £150 for shoes . They are very wearable just nibbled on on top back area .

Also a seat next to said shoe closet as personally, I hate trying to hop around and balance when going to someone’s house who wants shoes off. No issue with that, but have a seat ffs.

People started taking shoes off indoors when they moved from caves and huts into houses.

Offer to compensate. I have dogs and would.

Your own DD invited her, let her in the house and took her upstairs.. The 15 year old took off shoes (left at the door ?).
Your DD lives in the house and didn't remind the girl of your house rules.
If your DD didn't remember the rule how can you expect the guest to remember!

I would speak to her parent.Explain the circumstances, emphasising the fact that girl had been told previously.
I would then offer to replace the shoes.
Hopefully, her parent will laugh it off.

This. She's probably lied to her parents and pretended you never mentioned about putting them somewhere safe. No way would I pay.

Well it is really hard to be in 2 places at once. OP was in the bathroom when her DD brought a friend round.
Should OP be permanently standing by the door ready at all times for surprise guests?

It is a guarantee that puppies will chew something. They're young and they're learning. You can just click your fingers and they're perfectly trained. Guest was aware there was a shoe chewing dog in this house and still chose to leave her shoes out. It's like walking out on a road with your eyes closed and being surprised when you get hit.

@CatamaranViper

No, it's nothing like that!

The visitor should be looked after by the hosts. That includes OP (really, in the moments she was in the bathroom, the puppy got to the shoes & damaged them?) and her DC. They proactively a) move the shoes and b) secure the puppy so it can't wander around destroying things.

Placing blame on a visitor because they were previously advised about their shoes is utterly wrong.

It utterly isn't.

It's someone's home for goodness sake not a hotel. Sure I agree that the DD should have reminded her friend, but that's where the blame ends. The 15 year old friend should have remembered the rules, she didn't and her shoes got nibbled as a result. Actions and consequences and all that.

@CatamaranViper

Exactly? It's a home - someone is visiting it - the hosts are responsible for making sure (within reason) they & their property are ok.

The utter entitlement of 'they were told before' and 'actions have consequences' in the context of an unmanaged puppy, that the owners couldn't be bothered to either secure or ensure a visitor's property was safe.

It’s really sad to see how many posters have accused you of having an XL bully and have pre-judged you for it.

Their opinions are invalid because they’re only saying whether YABU/NBU based on what breed of dog you have, which says more about them than you.

My first instinct was to say that YABU because you should pay for any damage your dog does but I actually think YANBU.

If you had a porch that leaked and told someone to not leave their shoes in the porch because they’ll get wet, then they can’t moan if they leave their shoes in the porch.

I would feel a bit guilty and I would remind guests every time they come over to put their shoes on the stairs but she has been told before and DD was there.

I would perhaps compromise and see if you can find someone who can repair them and how much it costs.

I definitely wouldn’t pay for brand new ones.

Your daughter should pay, her friend her responsibility to remind friend of the rules.

But OP wasn't around when the friend came so how could she secure the puppy or move the shoes? She was in the bathroom.

I'd never wear my shoes in someone elses home and everyone takes theirs off to come in to mine, not optional 😁

Offtopic, but lol at all the "150 for shoes?!" comments. My classic Dr Marten shoes (not even boots) are priced at £139 and I wouldn't class them as designer. Decent Goretex shoes for hiking can easily cost £170+. Proper running shoes (Saucony, Brooks, whatever) can easily be in that bracket as well. They all last well and support your feet. Cheap shoes are always a false economy.

I would contribute something towards the cost, OP, but not all. Kid has contributory negligence as well. 50/50 seems fair.

A lot of 15 yos still have growing feet so it's irrelevant if the shoes last years, because they won't wear them for years.

It's also very unlikely the teen was visiting wearing her "proper " running or hiking shoes (if she's even into that kind of stuff).

Finally, can we stop pretending that paying £100s for shoes is normal,expected or a even some kind of necessity? It really isn’t.

Decent Goretex shoes for hiking can easily cost £170+

The peaks are awash with 15 year olds in Goretex 🤔

If you know the right fifteen-year-olds, certainly! But the point is that good shoes of whatever type cost money. £150 doesn't strike me as strange in the slightest. And I am someone who dresses herself almost exclusively from charity shops, apart from underwear and footwear.

Could be cultural? I wasn't born here and the idea of buying £7 shoes from the supermarket fills me with bemusement and horror in equal measure. Even the plastic crap they sell in Deichmann's for £50-60+ with no arch support is terrible. Not worth wrecking your feet on.