To not think 41 is that old for pregnancy

[User7778889]

I was lucky enough to have kids in my early 30’s but obviously many aren’t. Dh said that my friend 41 is very old for pregnancy and he worries about her child’s future.

I had a baby st 39

Should i be worried a about dying ?

At 39, I had the easiest pregnancy. I worked full time with a long commute until 38 weeks. Birth was straightforward

Have coped well so far. I'll be 49 when she's 10

Apparently that's going to be tough according to some posters here. Im bracing myself for the challenge

🤣🤣🤣

My best friend from school had older parents. They were 39 when her older brother was born and 42 when she was. This was back in the 80s so it was a little more unusual. Sadly my friend died of cancer when she was 36 and her brother was killed in a car accident. The parents outlived both their children so you never know what the future holds.

I had my first just before I turned 44. I’m 45 in a few weeks and it’s my son’s First birthday today 🤩.

looking at my Dad (my Mum left me when I was 3 with my Dad but also passed away at 59 anyway) but looking at my Dad and my Husband’s parents - all in their mid 70s it’s lifestyle and outlook that’s important.

My Dad is great fun and has always been a grafter, he’s had heart attacks and a stroke but has such energy and a great outlook but my Husband’s parents have always lead a sedentary life and are VERY old in comparison. I intend to do my best to stay fit and healthy and fun for my little one.

looking at others is interesting as you can see how you don’t want to be when you are older.

I had my dcs in my late 20s and my sister, who is a year younger than me, had hers in her late 30s. My parents were late 50s when they became grandparents to mine but late 60s for hers and I definitely feel there has been a difference in their energy levels, even though they are still relatively active.

I had my daughter when I was 40, so no, I do not think it is too late.
I wish I had my kids at twenties or early thirties, but things didn't happen that way.

The way my pregnancy changed things for me was that I became much more aware of my health. I have never been so healthy as now. I exercice, eat healthy food, because I want to be in the best shape ever for my kids. I do not want them to miss out things because mummy is always tired.

I'm talking this from the perspective of somebody who was always very overweight and couldn't run by the playground like other mums could.

I was 40 when I had my baby, and I considered it old. At that age fertility is very low, and risks for the baby are high.

You'll be fine. At 55 I had two teenagers and a 20 year old. Life was pretty easy. Now a few years later they're all young adults and pretty independent.
My son's girlfriend's parents are 20 years younger than me though! And my daughter (the youngest) doesn't want to be an older mum but that's more about being far more maternal than me.

I got pregnant at 41, about to turn 42 and had a MMC discovered at a scan. Pregnant again at 42 and discovered she had Down’s syndrome and had a termination for medical reasons. I had healthy children in my twenties. So for me, 40s is too old. Everyone is different but I wouldn’t put myself through that again.

I'd say it was old but I also suspect most women don't plan to have babies at that age - it's more something that happens because of their health or life circumstances.

Regarding the age of grandparents, my parents are in their late sixties and DH's are in their late seventies and there's a really noticeable difference in their stamina, fitness and health - much more so than even five years ago.

Of course a lot of is down to luck and (to an extent) lifestyle but you can't stop the ageing process. And it happens a lot faster than you think.

I had my last at 39. I will be doing uni runs in my 60's shortly - it's great honestly.

60 won't seem old when you get there. It's like teenagers thinking anyone over 30 is ancient!

It would be too old for me personally. But I can see that some people might have struggled with fertility or finding a partner so think it's sometimes not really a choice.

Sorry, I genuinely don't understand the fear about "doing uni runs in your 60s". Are people planning on stopping driving before 60?

It's a bit like people saying "but you'll still be doing the school run at 50!"

I mean...I didn't spend my 20s or 30s doing the school run so why is it so horrifying to spend time doing the school runs at 50?

This makes no sense. Thechild of OPs mate will not want her 70 year old mum to ‘play with her’ as she will be in her 30s by then

For me personally it’s too old but that is primarily because I have secondary school aged children and have no desire to start again.
Selfishly we have a nice life and I wouldn’t want to risk changing the dynamics by having another child.
On the flip side my dad was 41 when I was born and he’s been an amazing dad and involved grandfather. He’s 82 and still very fit, active and independent.

My Dad is great fun and has always been a grafter, he’s had heart attacks and a stroke but has such energy and a great outlook but my Husband’s parents have always lead a sedentary life and are VERY old in comparison. I intend to do my best to stay fit and healthy and fun for my little one. Looking at others is interesting as you can see how you don’t want to be when you are older

I do think this is key. I went to visit friends who at mid 50s are a few years old that me. They have never exercised or been active, are overweight, and it really shows now. They are noticeably starting to move like stiff old people. Their faces don’t make them look old, but the way they move their bodies now does. I was quite shocked by it. I’ve always tried to keep active and it made me really glad of it. Seeing them has given me a kick up the arse to make sure I keep to a regular exercise and activity regime.

Who cares? Only the business of the parents. Everybody’s relationship dynamic, financial status, health and energy levels, level of family support etc is different. For each person to decide foe themselves if they feel able to have a kid at any age and nobody else’s business or place to project their own views or judge

I know of more people in their 40s having their first or second child than I ever have. I think it's perfectly fine and wouldn't raise an eyebrow. My friend recently had her third child at 45.

Do you not feel sad that you may never see your grandkids be born? Might miss weddings etc. maybe that’s what worries some people

I’m laughing at “uni runs”. I mean, I collect dd from the train when she comes home, but I’ve only ever driven to her actual uni city twice each year, for drop off and collection of her and her belongings.

I agree 😀.

There is no guarantee that an older parent won’t also become a younger grandparent, or that a younger parent will have grandchildren. Several of my mum’s friends who had kids in their 20s became gps in their late 60s and were never as involved in their lives. Several of her friends who had kids in their 40s became gps in their early to mid 60s and are running around doing school runs and paying for nursery / private school.

Uni runs? I'd expect my son to be able to get a train or coach back home by the time he's old enough to go to university. Or even drive himself! I didn't expect my parents to ferry me around at that age and my mum had me at 21. Picking up from a station wouldn't be a problem when I'm in my 50s. I doubt I'll need a zimmer frame by then. Most universities no matter how remote have trains and other means of public transport.

To me it's to old but mainly because my children will be in their 20s & late teens by my early 40s.
But whatever floats their boat. That said there are obviously quite a few risks having a baby in your 40s.

Im.sorry for your loss but 48 is very young to die
My sister in law died at 41_suddenly and left a 18,9 and 2 year old sadly people die young sometimes.