Did guests bring you precooked meals when you had a newborn?

[Redcargidan]

Not an AIBU but a question. We have a newborn baby. Multiple people have asked me if our friends/family/visitors have brought things like precooked meals in tupperware (that can just be put in the microwave) when they visit, that sort of thing.
Nobody has done this and nobody did when our eldest was a newborn. In truth, nothing would be more appreciated right now than a meal I did not have to cook. Is this a thing? Do other people generally do this, or are the people that have said it just expectant?

I am fighting the urge to spend a fortune on takeaways because we are way too tired to cook, and am VERY jealous if other people generally receive precooked meals from visitors!
YABU - this isn't really a done thing
YANBU - this is a thing

The temptation to ask people to bring these instead of clothes that will only fit baby for 1 week when they come round! (Joking but wish I had the balls to do this )

No they didn't. I would have appreciated it if they had tbh.

It's definitely an expectation in certain countries and cultures...my family aren't English and all the sisters, sils and mothers would help feed parents for a while by cooking extra portions, in America (Southern States where I was) as well I found that "meal trains" were part and parcel of having a new child or any major transition of life.

Amongst people I know here in the UK it seems to be more that siblings or parents cook for the newborns parents...and lets face it it's never usually the men, so I mean the sisters and mothers/mother in laws of the babies parents.

My go to Baby Shower/New Baby Gift is a Cook New Parent Voucher or Box. I am a fantastic cook but I know people can feel uncomfortable about eating homemade and I'd rather buy a voucher than have it thrown in the bin!

No, but I would have hated it, so I'm glad.

We had a few from my MIL, BIL and a couple of epic friends. Another friend who lived further away sent some of those fancy huge doughnut boxes. Best presents ever and I do the same for any friends
my mother was a cup of tea visitor sadly, she did however gift me a really OTT bunch of flowers each time which in my opinion is the worst gift to get new parents but then I’m probably just bitter and ungrateful

I’m in the minority but think it should be mandatory to bring a meal! Ok, well at least make your own tea when you show up..

Kids are all grown but remember how I was always ravenous after giving birth and bf- ing. Dh is an excellent cook so I was always well fed but I make a point to take soups or stews when there’s a new born. Recipients always seem very grateful and I reckon it means more than another soft toy.

Who really shows up expecting to be served? Even if you’re not close to the person offer to do something- take out rubbish, load the dishwasher. Allow mum to decline.

Unfortunately that is the default response on MN when it comes to the subject of men! It doesn't matter how many hours a man is working, how much he does around the house, he is always supposed to do more.

One friend did it for me and was very much appreciated.

Definitely check put Cook, the food is lovely and minimal effort 😊

Don’t people cook for themselves nowadays after having a baby???

I cooked a roast dinner the day after I came home from hospital with my first, and I cooked after having my other babies too!

No, and I've never done it for friends. I don't think two adults can't manage to cook a dinner between them with a baby to look after and must admit I roll my eyes when I see it recommended.

I did take my DD a plated dinner over every night for about 3 weeks after she had a baby but she was on her own and lives local.

I haven’t had a baby but I’ll accept them!

No we didn’t have anyone do meals for us, we just provided loads of tea and coffee.

We called in at M&S for ready meals on the way home from hospital

My dad made me 3 meals a day and did all the food shopping for us for about 2 months when my son was born. He also took him out for a walk every day so I could rest.

Other than that I got a shit ton of chocolate 🙂

We always get new parents gift vouchers for takeaway, I don't know anyone who would take precooked food over, I didn't know that was a thing.
Is your husband not dealing with the cooking? Buy a few microwave meals maybe? Even the Tesco finest/M&S ready meals will be healthier and cheaper than takeaways.
Good luck!

My mum and brother both brought home cooked meals in Tupperware a couple of times in the very early days. We found a good local butcher that did the likes of fresh curries and stews and had them delivered to us

No, not for us.
but it probably depends on lots of things. Many of my friends had very young babies or toddlers at the time and our family are all hundreds of miles away. It would’t have been easy for them to just rock up with tupperware full of meals and it certainly wasn’t something I expected.
You sound like you’re feeling resentful about the visitors- understandably so. Just tell them you’re not up to visitors at the moment but will pop round to them to introduce baby when you’re ready- then they can make you cups of tea!

Nobody brought a single thing.
Mum and in-laws just parked themselves on the sofa and expected us to run around making them all meals, coffees, teas, snacks etc

Nobody did this to me and I wasn't expecting them to.

My MIL did this for me, lots of portions of simple eg grub eg bolognese, chilli, shepherds pie. It was a godsend, all stuff we could eat with one hand and just cook rice or pasta to go with it.

It is a thing in my family /culture as for the first 6 weeks at least, my only job is to look after myself and the baby.

Meals prepared, some domestic chores done etc.

Made life so much easier as those first few weeks are exhausting.

We do the same for illness, bereavement etc.

Yes, either my mum or dad came every day the first 2 weeks and either made our tea or held DS while I made it. I'm a bit of a control freak so both were appreciated equally. I had a c section - may have been slightly different if I hadn't.

Not that I recall but we were given some Hello Fresh and Deliveroo vouchers which was appreciated. I breastfed (meaning DD was attached to me most of the time) and mainly ate biscuits from what I remember!

I had two friends bring a meal each which was very kind of them. However, the place of worship we were in - nope, despite everyone else having a child receiving at least 5 days worth of meals, usually more.

thankfully, I knew no family would and did not expect any from anyone else so had filled my freezer with batch cooked meals and indeed things easy to pop into the freezer, which helped with our final child. I got it wrong with first child, as we were in hospital so long, my DH had eaten almost all the freezer meals!

Yes! We didn’t cook for weeks. We did also prep some stuff ourselves but we got the classic huge lasagne, ready meals, pies etc. Was amazing and I would love to get that again this time round, especially as we really don’t need anything else as we already have it all from the first baby.

Medical advice is also to get up immediately after you've had a c/s to "aid recovery". I've never heard of any of these 'bedrest' mothers having DVTs. They aren't stuck in bed, but there is no expectation on them to do anything. So no making cups of tea for guests, cooking or pushing the hoover around. I'd much rather have belonged to a culture where someone was going to look after my every need and I was completely free to rest.