Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Did guests bring you precooked meals when you had a newborn?

540 replies

Redcargidan · 10/11/2023 17:04

Not an AIBU but a question. We have a newborn baby. Multiple people have asked me if our friends/family/visitors have brought things like precooked meals in tupperware (that can just be put in the microwave) when they visit, that sort of thing.
Nobody has done this and nobody did when our eldest was a newborn. In truth, nothing would be more appreciated right now than a meal I did not have to cook. Is this a thing? Do other people generally do this, or are the people that have said it just expectant?

I am fighting the urge to spend a fortune on takeaways because we are way too tired to cook, and am VERY jealous if other people generally receive precooked meals from visitors!
YABU - this isn't really a done thing
YANBU - this is a thing

The temptation to ask people to bring these instead of clothes that will only fit baby for 1 week when they come round! (Joking but wish I had the balls to do this )

OP posts:
TMess · 10/11/2023 17:58

Yes! I didn’t have to cook for about a month after each baby as people usually brought a meal to eat and one to freeze.

NewFriendlyLadybird · 10/11/2023 17:59

My mother stocked up the freezer with Cook meals, and my DH worked on a new repertoire of dishes that I could eat with one hand only! A couple of friends came to visit and brought lunch with them. I didn’t realise how lucky I was!

Original poster
Redcargidan · 10/11/2023 17:59

Nope. But our families are crap.

I must admit the majority of our family view coming round and holding the baby while I hoover then make them a cup of tea is helpful.
I struggle with separation in the early days and don't actually like other people holding baby for long periods of time so this is even more unhelpful than they could imagine. I've been working hard to try and move past this but after some trauma through pregnancy, it takes time.

OP posts:
elliejjtiny · 10/11/2023 17:59

When we brought dc2 home from the hospital at 3 hours old, my in-laws and dc1 were waiting for us with a Chinese meal for 2 from Sainsburys, a big bowl of strawberries and a tub of miniature heroes. Absolutely amazing.

Didimum · 10/11/2023 18:00

Mariposista · 10/11/2023 17:20

No because we weren't suddenly incompetent. We showered, got dressed and ate healthy meals just as we always did. We had batch cooked beforehand (we do that anyway) and took turns to make dinner (while the other fed the baby/sorted washing/did whatever. We weren't precious at all.

What an idiotic and nasty response.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 10/11/2023 18:00

My friend brought round lots of nutritious freezer meals which was wonderful! My ex /baby's father told me he would batch cook for me but Disnt. My mum made all my meals for me when I had a newborn which was amazing!

When people visit do they say 'can I bring anything' please take them up on it and say 'tbh I can't find any time to plan meals or cook any food that I can bung in a microwave would be dreamy' and then they can choose whether to cook you something or bring ready meals for you

Lastchancechica · 10/11/2023 18:00

No. But I think it’s a really lovely thing to do. We survived on salad and cook.

Original poster
Redcargidan · 10/11/2023 18:00

When we brought dc2 home from the hospital at 3 hours old, my in-laws and dc1 were waiting for us with a Chinese meal for 2 from Sainsburys, a big bowl of strawberries and a tub of miniature heroes. Absolutely amazing.

How lovely!

OP posts:
Tellmeallthestories · 10/11/2023 18:01

I think my mum did for us, and I did it for friends.

Bearbookagainandagain · 10/11/2023 18:01

Nope, but it would have been awesome! Particularly for number 2.
My sister did bring two pots of soup from M&S though, which was a lovely gesture... but a bit weird for June and we really didn't fancy soup! It took us ages to eat them 😂

We used Gousto after both kids, and still now when our little one is almost 6 months. Will probably stop when i go back to work and the baby is weaning.
It's more about sharing the load for us (my husband can cook but is limited to a few dishes, with Gousto he can really do his share when I'm stuck breastfeeding). We also can't be bothered with groceries, we end throwing away loads of stuff because we run out of time.

RampantIvy · 10/11/2023 18:01

We didn't know anyone locally as we had only recently moved into the area, and both families lived hundreds of miles away, so we had to manage on our own.

PlaidCushionProductions · 10/11/2023 18:02

My sister did

HoppingPavlova · 10/11/2023 18:03

No, and I couldn’t imagine asking for it. I don’t even know how this would work for subsequent babies either as then you have picky toddlers and young kids who wouldn’t eat Doris from down the roads casserole, or something from a delivery box, so you just need to cook for them anyway. Having a firstborn is easy in comparison because you can be more flexible with mealtimes and what you eat and don’t need to factor in other hungry little mouths.

AnnieKayTee · 10/11/2023 18:04

My grandma made us a huge pan of spaghetti with each new baby. How I miss my grandma.

AmazingSnakeHead · 10/11/2023 18:04

My MIL bought round a few meals, was much appreciated!

2mummies1baby · 10/11/2023 18:04

Ready meals all the way. If you are veggie or vegan, allplants is a great alternative to COOK for really nice ready meals.

I think it's a bit much to expect people to cook a meal for you, but I always bring lunch for the parents whenever I visit a new baby (usually a Subway or something).

feralunderclass · 10/11/2023 18:05

No, unfortunately this was not normal for me when my dc were born. I have a lot of Muslim friends and this is totally normal for them, many of them are 'expected' to stay in bed for 40 days and there is a rota that will be made before the baby is born and someone will bring food every day. When my ds has been in hospital or I moved they were very good this way in helping me.
If I am ever a grandmother I'm definitely going to insist on my dd/dil on doing nothing for the first few weeks at least and I will keep them well stocked up with food.

Stormyforcast · 10/11/2023 18:05

Our church group did it for us and it was such a lovely example of kindness.

We didn't expect it and they did a rota for 2 weeks of food and it was a lifesaver and helped us feel so supported in the tough days of newborn haze.
we've since been part of rotas for others and it's just the nicest thing I could think of anyone doing for anyone when they have a new baby.

Picklewicklepickle · 10/11/2023 18:06

Yes we got 7 lasagnes 🤣 For the first few weeks I had a lot of free time in the day so for us they were more useful about 6 weeks in when you get to that fussy early evening stage and end up eating one-handed or when we had a baby and a toddler. I was very grateful but it wouldn’t have occurred to me to do this for someone else until I’d had my own. Since then I’ve bought new parents Deliveroo or Cook type vouchers

Cakeorchocolate · 10/11/2023 18:06

I did it for some of my in laws when they had their first.
I'd had my first a few years before and knew how exhausting those first few weeks are.
I would have done it again when they had their second but couldn't due to struggling with my health.

Having recently had my second I wish someone would do it for us.
(They've all been generous with clothes he's already outgrown as a pp said, some without being worn unfortunately.)

CanINapNow · 10/11/2023 18:06

Currently have a 3 month old. My mum and in-laws gave meals for freezer and we got a voucher for some online freezer meals and for Deliveroo from friends which were lovely. Other than that we’ve just stuck to easy/oven meals: quiche and salad, ikea frozen meatballs and microwave mash, pizzas etc. Wasabi do really good ready meals that you can get at Sainsbury’s! Honestly we have been shattered and proper cooking is impossible. I remember trying to do a supermarket order a couple of weeks after DS was born and I couldn’t engage my brain to think of ANYTHING at all to add to the order 😂. DH and I started cooking properly again two weeks ago but we’re only doing one meal each (from scratch) each week. DH said it felt alien using the chopping board again! Don’t put pressure on yourselves. I keep seeing other new mums I know on Instagram cooking really healthy meals from scratch …I think good for them but god knows where they get the energy!!!!

MrsCarson · 10/11/2023 18:07

No one did this for us.
My friends and I did it for one week when one of the moms came home with twins and had a preschool age kid too, we each took a day and delivered dinner, didn't even stop to play with babies.
My best friend came over when I had baby number 2, she brought her son and the boys played, she cleaned house and made us all lunch. Then peeled a bag of oranges and put them in a big bowl in the fridge. We snacked for days after on them.

Pinkitydrinkity0 · 10/11/2023 18:07

It’s a thing in my family. We’d do the same for illnesses/deaths.

ReineMarieGamache · 10/11/2023 18:08

My church organised two weeks of meals for us when my second was born. Honestly I couldn't have loved them more!

(Although the one with liver in it was quietly disposed of 🤢)

Ballsbaill · 10/11/2023 18:08

Jesus I might not have a newborn but I have a demanding career and work long hours.

If I thought my friends when they had babies expected me to bring meals ...I barely have time to make a meal myself in the evenings.

One of you can put a pizza in the oven or boil pasta on the stove.