Did guests bring you precooked meals when you had a newborn?

[Redcargidan]

Not an AIBU but a question. We have a newborn baby. Multiple people have asked me if our friends/family/visitors have brought things like precooked meals in tupperware (that can just be put in the microwave) when they visit, that sort of thing.
Nobody has done this and nobody did when our eldest was a newborn. In truth, nothing would be more appreciated right now than a meal I did not have to cook. Is this a thing? Do other people generally do this, or are the people that have said it just expectant?

I am fighting the urge to spend a fortune on takeaways because we are way too tired to cook, and am VERY jealous if other people generally receive precooked meals from visitors!
YABU - this isn't really a done thing
YANBU - this is a thing

The temptation to ask people to bring these instead of clothes that will only fit baby for 1 week when they come round! (Joking but wish I had the balls to do this )

My partner asked my MILto bring something round when they came and it was like we'd asked her to buy us a house. They'd come round a couple of days after we got home from hospital after a very traumatic birth and subsequent stay for baby and me. I'd cooked a roast and insulted her immensely to the point where she made several comments that I had used a frozen bag of veg. So I didn't think it was too much to ask for her to bring something next time.

Parents from school did a rota when I had my youngest. People signed up online and delivered meals to my door.
There was no expectation to come inside and hold the baby. It was just to take the pressure off preparing food for the family.
It was so lovely and thoughtful and delicious.

Do you only ever do nice things for people you consider incapable? How sad.

I'm sorry people don't do nice things for you just because they can.

I remember doing the Nct course with my eldest and their advice was to make a list of all the chores that needed doing so when people came round to visit we could present this list and get people to do your housework, cook etc 🤣 needless to say we never made that list!
In general to be honest I quite enjoyed handing the baby over for a while and doing something mundane like making tea. And my husband took over all the cooking in the evenings so I didn’t have to worry about that. I’m expecting my third now and I expect us both to just muck in together.

Yes, we'd about 6 weeks of meals provided by friends, mostly church friends. It's very normal in those friendship groups and I've made dozens of meals for friends with newborns or struggling etc. I also made a few weeks of frozen meals with this last baby. It was about 6 months later that I'd run out had had to relearn to cook!

Bloody hell I have a toddler and a 4 month old and DH and I have also showered, cooked, cleaned, worked and got out daily since DC2 was born. I wouldn’t dream to think those who didn’t are ‘precious’. Everybody’s experience is entirely different and you never know why others might be struggling. DC1’s birth flawed me for weeks and breastfeeding was a real struggle. It’s all been easy this time round.

To answer your original q. OP we had meals from MIL which, whilst weren’t desperately needed, were utterly lovely and thoughtful to receive, especially as she is a banging cook.

OP if you want this then I think you should simply ASK.

I organised a baby shower for a good friend and we had a whatsapp group for people invited to that.

New parents announced baby's arrival on the group and said no guests yet, but meals would be very gratefully recieved.

One of the mums on the thread got on the case, organised a full rots for people to volunteer to cook each day.

Baby is 2 weeks old now and I think they've had home-cooked food delivered most days - but only because they used their words!! :)

My MIL and a friend who lived close both dropped us off an occasional meal in the early weeks but we were in lockdown so didn't ask or expect much.

Thoughtless post.
Not everyone is fortunate enough to be in the position that you were.
Some new mums may also have other young children to see to and a husband / partner who can't always be there to prepare and cook meals when the children are hungry.
Other new mums may not have a husband / partner around to assist at all.
It would perhaps benefit you to consider others circumstances prior to posting such Ill judged comments.

My church does it too. Not just for new parents, but for anyone who would benefit from a week or two of home-cooked meals delivered to them. It’s great.

I made up meals whilst pregnant and put in freezer. Cannot remember if anyone cooked for us as well.
I have bought cook meals for friends who are having a shit time ie bad accident with broken bones ,husband walking out and a friend bought a huge cook pie for us when my mum died suddenly. Hav never forgotten that kind gesture.
Have you done the same for anyone OP ?

I did meals for my DD and DIL but asked if they’d want them first. I batch cooked a months worth of meals for each of them for their freezers. I like cooking and enjoyed being able to help them out in a small way. Both DD and DIL are more than competent at cooking as are their DH’s but I like to offer to take a little bit of pressure off new mums and dads in the early days.

Yes absolutely everyone but our culture are feeders. Didnt know how much it was needed. I didnt need to cook a meal for about 4 months. Nearly all of them in foil trays so i didnt even need to wash up. God send.

No as we don’t live near family. However, having now experienced being a new mother, I will take something round, even if it’s a few micro meals to chuck in the freezer.

Yea it's a "thing" at our church that the ladies of the church do for a fortnight on a rota to bless new parents and families, it's lovely!

So one person brings a meal (in a real dish eg casserole dish) that can just be bunged in the oven. The next night the next person delivering takes the dirty dish away with them (and washes it) when they bring the next meal and so on and so forth.

Our family is complete now but id have another one just to get meals for a fortnight 😂

YABU, but also people who come around and expect to be waited on need to be told in no uncertain terms that they know where the kettle is! I can't imagine expecting a new parent to wait on me hand and foot, how entitled.

No, no meals brought round but my Mum did help me with other things and my husband did a lot of the cooking.

Yep we've sent lots of friends nice ready meals! But then we had relatively recently had a baby ourselves and remembered how bloody lovely it was when my sister turned up with 3 days worth of ready meals, a bottle of coca cola and a load of chocolate!!

Not everyone has a partner to help take turns and make dinner. Many people struggle with having a newborn for many reasons and clearly aren’t as ‘competent’ as you are (well in your little world anyway). It doesn’t make anyone incompetent to have family or friends make a meal for them out of kindness, clearly something you’re lacking judging by your post.

What a nasty post ! Hope you felt better when you pressed the post button!

Oh and i had batch cooked meals myself, but had some health issues for a few weeks after DC was born. I was literally bed bound a few days and it helped us a lot that people thought about us.

i did a couple for my husbands DB & SIL. No one did for me though

I agree with just asking! Yes I know it's not what we do and it takes a lot of courage to ask for help but I have friends who did this recently as they were caring for a sick child around the clock and so many people helped them, they were very overwhelmed and grateful xx

This sounds so nice in theory, but in practice I probably wouldn’t have enjoyed a fridge full of other people’s mystery casseroles and dubious lasagne, however well-meaning.

Ready meals got us through the early months.

No, but my parents came and stayed and did everything for a week or so, then I went to stay with them for two weeks.

No one brought any meals round. I had prepped meals for the freezer before having the children though.