Working on christmas day, the entitlement of others

[Mysticcatmum]

I have a job in a 111 NHS call centre, the office is open 24hrs 7 days a week. I have just been given my Christmas rota and to my delight I have been given off Xmas day (which I have worked previous years).

Now I have had an influx of colleagues who have children, asking me to cover their shifts since 'I have no children'.

So, my question is, AIBU for thinking that I do not (apprantly) deserve to have a christmas off with my family (who have had a rough year) all for the sake of those who have children, who have been off previous years?

I see very little ambiguity in @Mysticcatmum‘s OP - it is clear that @Eggybrains’ interpretation of what happened is fanciful in the extreme.

Before I had children, I too found that colleagues with children got priority over me - not just for holidays, but also when it came to getting off work on time (I was an operating theatre nurse, so things did overrun) - those of us without children were expected to do the overtime, so those with children could get off promptly. We were supposed to get the time back, in lieu, but this didn’t always happen.

Maybe you are lucky, @Eggybrains, and haven’t come across this attitude much, but it does seem that it is a commonplace occurrence for many of us.

I think @Eggybrains is a just trying to get attention, which has worked. Let's just ignore it now.

I think getting away in time is a bit different. Nurseries shutting etc.. Although everyone in theatre should be asked before sending for last patient if there is likely to be an overrun - children or not.

Maybe I am lucky. Given how many people I’ve met and I’ve never come across this attitude I think its unlikely to be uncommon. But maybe the OP could just confirm what was actually said?

I said I didn’t know who said it was bullying - which was why I asked if it was you - but it was definitely said.

Geez. Asking for a swap is not pestering. Have you ever worked a job with a rota system?

Absolutely, I’d never disagree that there are often policies to help parents. Maternity leave being the first. Also many also offer parental leave etc.

Thats not the same as expecting not to have to work Christmas Day because you have children.

Quite.

On the point about stereotypical views of employees without children I can't stand the bloody trope that we'd all prefer to have NYE off than Christmas. As if we're all party loving hedonists. When I was younger and wanted NYE off to go out and drink with friends I also wanted Christmas Eve off to go out and drink with friends. Different strokes for different folks, really irritates me when people pretend like they're doing child free people a favour "giving" them NYE off.

@Mysticcatmum says in her OP that she has had an ‘influx’ of colleagues, all asking her to swap her shift so they can have Christmas Day with their children - in my view, if a number of people are asking her the same thing, this could well feel like pestering to her!

Academic papers? Does there have to be an academic paper on everything to prove that its true or just this particular subject?

There is a poster on this thread who’s colleagues have raised a discrimination complaint with HR about her because she refused to work Christmas Day this year as she has worked it every year for years.

That is a clear case of bullying.

Go on then Eggy, tell us how that poster is bitching about the poor mums.

I think it’s what they want the child free to think they want, so they can have Xmas Day.

Yes and I agreed repeatedly with that poster that her colleagues were being dicks to her. I was empathetic.

Thats quite different to what I think has happened to the OP.

The same has happened to OP (people unfairly asking her to swap) you just can’t back down.

It’s not unfair to ask people to swap.

Do you work in a 9-5 M-F job? Do you work?

Super interesting and depressing statistics there. Thanks for posting!

It is literally what many of us experience all the time. No dying daughters, no terminally ill other random relatives, just I've got children, you haven't therefore you should work Christmas cos magic, presents, whatever.

It’s only different because you’re absolutely determined to think that the OP isn’t being truthful about what was said.

Whereas because I take her at face value, I can see that it’s the same thing as what happened to me.

The only reason you’re insistent that the OP is lying is so that you can dismiss her and every other person on the thread who’s had the same experience.

Because I don’t think people are that dick-like

Oh they are. If you don't believe childfree/less people on here, ask someone in real life for their experience. Just to note - choose someone middle aged just to ensure they aren't of the too young to think about/have kids and just want to party on NYE group.

@Eggybrains

Asking someone to swap a random Saturday is one thing but Christmas Day is once per year. In my role, if people don’t want it, they don’t put in
a request or actively say they don’t mind. So, if someone has been given Christmas off work, I wouldn’t dare bother them by asking. I know they want it because they actively requested it.

A colleague of mine said to me this year, when we were doing the Christmas roster, “those of us with small kids should get a dispensation for the big days”. That’s a direct, verbatim quote. He was met with a lighthearted “oh now, no preferential treatment and no discrimination here!” but I’d have been prepared to be much more firm if needed. Thankfully he got the hint, and names were pulled out of a hat.

Why doesnt the OP just say what was actually said then?

they asked to swap… did she suspect her childlessness meant an expectation to swap, or was it actually said?

im so bored of this. The OP hasn’t confirmed, because it was never said - nobody said “you should swap with me because you don’t have kids”. But that would devalue her feelings or righteousness wouldn’t it. So she won’t come back and say so

Didn’t say she was lying. Misrepresenting. Her colleagues saying something, and her suspecting that’s what they’re thinking is different. She hasn’t confirmed if they said it or not cos nobody said “you need to swap with me cos I have kids and you don’t”

Ok, so is that what happens at the OPs work place, cos that’s what’s being discussed here

There are dicks everywhere. Sounds like that was a single one, not loads of colleagues like the OP suggested.