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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Working on christmas day, the entitlement of others

898 replies

Mysticcatmum · 08/11/2023 11:15

I have a job in a 111 NHS call centre, the office is open 24hrs 7 days a week. I have just been given my Christmas rota and to my delight I have been given off Xmas day (which I have worked previous years).

Now I have had an influx of colleagues who have children, asking me to cover their shifts since 'I have no children'.

So, my question is, AIBU for thinking that I do not (apprantly) deserve to have a christmas off with my family (who have had a rough year) all for the sake of those who have children, who have been off previous years?

OP posts:
HannahsLife · 08/11/2023 11:34

This is why I left 24/7 Healthcare. I have a child and couldn't bare to not spend important days with them, so I changed jobs where it's not expected. I did not hassle childless colleagues. Everyone deserves a day off.

LoobyDop · 08/11/2023 11:34

Just say, no, I have plans, sorry. Not their business what those plans are, and giving any details just plays into the idea that there’s a hierarchy of deserving ways to spend Christmas. There isn’t.

BrimfulOfMash · 08/11/2023 11:35

It’s ok for them to ask (but they should not use the ‘no children’ reason) because almost everyone would wonder if anyone is ok to swap… some would! But it is OK to say ‘no, not this year, I’ve done the last xx years and I’m looking forward to being with my family’.

KimberleyClark · 08/11/2023 11:36

IAmAnIdiot123 · 08/11/2023 11:30

YANBU OP but MUMSNET people ABU! Where is my annual entertainment of the row that follows someone saying Christmas is only for children and you are selfish and an arsehole?

Or the ones saying “well before I had children I was happy to work on Christmas Day so the parents with small children could be with them,so now it’s my turn.”

Conveniently ignoring the fact that some people will never have children and so for the rest of their working lives it will always be their turn to work Christmas.

MarkWithaC · 08/11/2023 11:37

IAmAnIdiot123 · 08/11/2023 11:30

YANBU OP but MUMSNET people ABU! Where is my annual entertainment of the row that follows someone saying Christmas is only for children and you are selfish and an arsehole?

I know, this thread is surprisingly and disappointingly reasonable Grin

But honestly, people like that – do they not stop to think that perhaps they might be saying that to someone who desperately wanted children and can't have them? Or who's lost a child? Hmm
Even if not, the whole point of having a rota is that everyone deserves a turn at Xmas off and that's the only way to make it fair.
Tell your colleagues 'no'. No explaining, no justifying. If they hassle you, tell your boss/HR that your work is being interrupted.

YikYok · 08/11/2023 11:37

Yanbu. I’d never dream of asking a colleague this , you’ve never any idea what upset it can cause.

Iloveacurry · 08/11/2023 11:38

Just say sorry I’ve got plans/going away. You entitled to have Christmas Day off just as much as them.

PuttingDownRoots · 08/11/2023 11:38

There is a tiny window between being able to understand Christmas day and being able to understand parents jobs. From about 3-5years. So I sort of understand a patent in those situations. But any older... the kids do understand.

DH used to volunteer to cover Christmas On Call as he was local, with his family, whereas his unmarried staff especially would have to travel to spend Christmas with their families. This was when our kids were quite young!. He just popped out several times during the day though.

vivainsomnia · 08/11/2023 11:39

I used to work every Christmas and boxing days to allow those with children to spend the day with their kids but that's also because it wasn't as upsetting for me to miss it and the double pay was a big incentive.

It's ok to ask as some people might feel like me but they shouldn't hold it against anyone saying no.

JudgeJ · 08/11/2023 11:45

Wingedharpy · 08/11/2023 11:19

My answer to this one used to be "I may have no children but I am someone's child".
Enjoy your day off OP.

Far too long, the good old MN rule 'No' is a complete sentence is enough, anything else leaves the door a tiny bit open and they'll chip away for the next few weeks.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 08/11/2023 11:47

My attitude to this would be 'I might not have children but I do have a life of my own, outside work and I'm looking forward to having Christmas day off.'

Tdcp · 08/11/2023 11:48

No sorry, I have kids but a rota system is a rota system. You're just as entitled to have xmas off as anyone else.

TheJubileePortrait · 08/11/2023 11:48

While you do have a right to the day off I do think it’s selfish and parents with young children should be given priority.

JudgeJ · 08/11/2023 11:49

I suspect a lot of the posters that come on various threads saying, "Christmas is for children, of course parents should get priority," will be singing a very different tune once their children are adults and can't get time off to be with them because "they don't have children".

They'll probably have the grandchildren card by then and the 'at my age it might be my last Christmas with my grandchildren' card too.

MaryShelley1818 · 08/11/2023 11:49

Christmas Day is very different for adults than for little children.

I had my children at 39 and 42 so had years and years of being child free. I ALWAYS offered to cover Christmas Day for parents who had young children because as an adult I could just rearrange celebrations slightly and honestly it was no big deal.
My children are 5 and 2 and believe in the magic, they believe Santa Claus has been, its a day of utter amazement for them and it would break my heart to miss that, they would be devastated too. Thankfully I don't have a job where it's a requirement anymore.

That said, you shouldn't feel pressure if a rota has been done and are well within your rights to keep your Christmas Day off and enjoy it.

mummyh2016 · 08/11/2023 11:49

TheJubileePortrait · 08/11/2023 11:48

While you do have a right to the day off I do think it’s selfish and parents with young children should be given priority.

Why should they be given priority?

Silvers11 · 08/11/2023 11:50

TheJubileePortrait · 08/11/2023 11:48

While you do have a right to the day off I do think it’s selfish and parents with young children should be given priority.

😂😂 There had to be at least one! And no - it's the people with children who are selfish and entitled if they think they have a bigger right to have Christmas Day off

Toddlerteaplease · 08/11/2023 11:51

I'm a nurse. Not one of my colleagues would ever ask that. One of our support workers once said that people with kids should be given priority and was shot down completely. However we are very fair with who works what.

viques · 08/11/2023 11:51

It doesn’t matter if someone has little children, adult children, a terminally ill parent, or a needy cat. If they have come up on the rota for Christmas Day at home then it is up to them if they want to take it. Wheedling blackmailers claiming their childrens lives will be devastated if they don’t have Christmas Day together need to wind their entitled necks in.

Mariposista · 08/11/2023 11:52

Wingedharpy · 08/11/2023 11:19

My answer to this one used to be "I may have no children but I am someone's child".
Enjoy your day off OP.

What a fantastic response
Happy Christmas OP

JudgeJ · 08/11/2023 11:52

If the OP has lots of people demanding her slot then maybe she could turn it to her advantage and auction it off!

MrsSkylerWhite · 08/11/2023 11:52

YANBU. We have children. Never asked colleagues to cover for us. (Though when we were younger and had no children it was often assumed that we wouldn’t mind covering for them. We did and said so!)

Some of my friends without children have far more demanding caring responsibilities than I do. Even if they don’t and just want to enjoy the day, why should I take priority over them? Having children doesn’t mean we’re special.

Don’t give it another thought and enjoy your Christmas.

.

chocolatefiends · 08/11/2023 11:52

I grew up with parents who worked shifts. Sometimes they worked Christmas Day. I've made it to adulthood unscathed by this.

YANBU. Stand your ground.

Fundays12 · 08/11/2023 11:52

Stick to your guns and say no you are not swapping as your family are very excited you will be spending X mas day with them for the first time in years. You are entitled to Christmas day of to especially as you have taken your turn in the past of working it. It's part of your job requirement to work shifts.

misspositivepants · 08/11/2023 11:53

It’s sucky working when you have young kids the magic only lasts so many years.

but everyone has family they want to see and want a break over the festive period.

I think it’s difficult one. People can ask but there is a way of asking I guess.