Religious Celebrations in school

[ClippitiClop]

DS is 4, in reception. He goes to a great school, we are in London so very diverse intake of kids. The school has no religious affiliation and when we asked at open days how religion is taught and celebrated they told us that all religious holidays are treated with equal prominence with the exception of Christmas as it’s also a cultural holiday in the UK - fair enough!
Yesterday was DS parents evening. We got to have a look at work they have done so far this year while waiting to speak to the teacher.
Not many religious holidays have happened since school started but in September they did “celebrate” Rosh Hashanah (Jewish).
They read books about how Jews celebrated the holiday, tried some exotic fruits (I’ll be honest I’m not sure of the relevance here), along with Apple and Honey (traditional I believe), and did some related crafts.
The teacher mentioned on Friday they are celebrating Diwali, themed lunch for all students and other in class activities in the afternoon. All great - right?

Well DH has decided he thinks it is insensitive, he feels like it is allowing the children to pick and chose which parts of a religion to engage with (the “fun” parts). He thinks celebrating Eid for example would be offensive as it comes at the end of fasting, he doesn’t see why anyone who hasn’t participated in fasting should be able to “just” join the fun celebration at the end. I pointed out it’s really no different to Easter for most and he claimed it’s different as there are secular aspects to Easter (quite frankly he’s very much partial to a lamb dinner and chocolate egg at Easter!!).
DH thinks it would be better if these religious holidays were taught but not necessarily celebrated in the school. He thinks this should include Easter, Eid, Rosh Hashanah, Diwali etc. (though he feels Chinese new year is fine as it’s more cultural than religious). He agrees with the school that Christmas is different.

AIBU to think DH is being silly and it’s totally fine (actually a positive) that the kids are getting to learn about and appreciate other religions, in a way that is engaging and in my opinion respectful (feel free to disagree). Or is he right, picking and choosing which parts of a religion to engage with is insensitive?

If you are religious (Muslim, Jewish, Hindu, Christian or any other) would the way the school seems to celebrate these holidays offend you? Would you rather they only taught and not celebrate? (I appreciate you can’t speak for your religion as a whole but curious none the less)

The school is using the word "celebrating" but it's just learning. It's their RE lesson - part of the national curriculum but taught in an accessible way for 4 year olds.
That's all.

Your dh should look up the national curriculum.

I think this is a perfect example of teachers thinking they’re doing something lovely and engaging for the children, only to discover some miserable bastard disagrees. I’d be embarrassed if he was my husband.

this it's RE for 4 year olds your husband is being daft about it,

Interesting, where’s the line between “teaching” and “celebrating”.
Such as the school have decorated for Diwali as they would for Christmas, does this move into the celebrate category then or still teaching?

Your DH is being an idiot.

I think it sounds lovely.

We're Catholic and DH and I always give something up for lent - but 4 year olds generally don't. Maybe mid-primary school kids might start, but no one will get annoyed if they forget.
I think it's the same with most/all other religions - small kids aren't expected to fast but they still get to do all the fun bits at the end of the festival.

but these decorations are symbolic they are a teaching tool as well as enjoying a festival .

Tbh this is how little ones would learn - making the decorations and getting a bit of info about what they're for. Older pupils would be getting more info from a ppt and discussion etc, but then probably the art/fun stuff too.

Pupils need the fun 'celebration' aspects otherwise they'd totally switch off.

It's a nice way of learning about other cultures. Next time they see decorations/celebrations, they will hopefully have some knowledge about the religion as they'll remember making/doing these things themselves.

I'm Christian and my children go to a CofE school but their school also 'celebrates' other festivals in this way. I went for parents evening recently and they had decorated for Diwali. I think it's part of learning about other religions and common to most primary schools.

I think your husband is being ridiculous. They are 4.
But even if they weren’t 4 - what does he think he expects the school to do in reality with so many religions and so many “celebrations”/traditions/practices?

if he wants a properly religious education he should send his child to a religious school. Or home school.

This

It’s my understanding that children are not expected to fast during Ramadan until around 11 or 12 years old, but still take part in the celebrations so I think your DH is being silly there.

Young children learn through meaningful experiences , being hands on, using all the senses. Taking part in these ‘celebrations’ (which is really just tasting food, listening to stories and music, making crafts etc) is how they are going to learn about them.

There is no line. It's all learning, whether craft based, visual, practical, spoken, written, bookbased - they're learning about the world, their friends, materials, reading, languages, geography...and also a bit of RE.

Over thinking. He is wasting his energy, let the kids get on with the learning and perhaps he can also do some learning, if he likes.

@ClippitiClop it's all "teaching" really. A book display in the library with a poster that says "Let's Celebrate Reading" is just a teaching method to catch the eyes of children looking at books or a display of children's art work with a sign that says "Celebrating the style of Van Gogh" is from a lesson where they were taught about Van Gogh and his art style.
Everything in primary school is educational and "teaching" - sometimes though the children don't realise because it's just fun and games - especially in Reception.

I actually love the way the school are doing that! It inclusive to all and teaches positivity and acceptance.

FWIW- as a white Brit, my best friend growing up was Pakistani and we were always invited to celebrate Eid with them, no one ever complain that we didn't fast.

We are in a similar school in London that celebrates Chinese New Year, Eid, Diwali etc It’s also not just about your kids- children with heritage from, or who belong to those religions and cultures get to celebrate in school in just the same way that Christmas is celebrated even though they aren’t Christian. It fosters community and understanding between kids and supports the idea that their cultures and faiths are not other. It’s very enriching to all the kids. Many of our neighbours are Muslim and we make Eid cards and give dates at the start of the festival etc- its brilliant! Our school is about 35% Muslim intake, with a strong voice in the governors and If that community doesn’t like something the school is doing they very strongly make it known, and the school celebrating Eid is not something I’ve ever heard any objection to…

What is the harm your DH thinks will become your DS by learning about things in a happy and enjoyable way? You have said he thinks it is 'wrong' - but why is it wrong? Wrong to whom?

I am interested in your DH's religion, upbringing and schooling because his attitude smacks of very old-fashioned fear about 'corrupting' young people with too much fun!

He's wrong IMO. Enjoying cultural highlights from lots of religions is fun and aids understanding of other people.

That said I think it’s positive your DH is considering if there is sensitivity for those who do practice when others join in- maybe he could gently explore this idea with parents from those groups?

Regarding your point about the exotic fruit, could it have been pomegranate, which is traditionally eaten on Jewish New Year?

Agree with others, this is what makes these religious and cultural celebrations accessible, and the curriculum will go into greater depth as they get older. No need to worry!

He thinks it’s insensitive/offensive, in his mind it’s watering down the religions to a couple of fun events a year and devalues them (the kids are 4-11 so I think this is a crazy mindset).

He is very much atheist, went to a non-denominational school up north as did I. Neither of us have any recollection of celebrating any holidays at school that weren’t Christian, but do remember learning about them in RE.
He loves the school ethos as a whole, child first, “celebrating the individual”, inclusive etc.
I don’t think he means anything bad by it, I think he just worries too much about being insensitive to others beliefs.

I'm a Christian and know that there are many aspects of Christianity described in the curriculum and delivered by teachers as being quite far from my faith, so I'd assume the same for other religions. They are being shown a taster of what different groups think, probably often quite far from what those groups actually believe but if it fosters some tolerance and curiosity, it's all good. Probably better to learn from actual members of the faith community what is/ isn't offensive.

I really hope your DH doesn’t do anything for Christmas unless he goes to church week in week out!

Muslim 4 year olds won’t be fasting but they will be celebrating Eid.

As for picking a choosing parts of events, it’s about doing things in an age appropriate way. My 4 year old is wearing a poppy this week but I’ve yet to tell her about the full realities of war. Does that mean she shouldn’t wear a poppy. Although on a side note I’m not a great fan of poppy wearing as it glorifies war so this probably isn’t a great example.

Learning happens in layers. Same as in Maths or English and more knowledge and skills are added each year.